Out Of Luck

you what?

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded slightly. Rough, that sounded about right. Did Blaine think Kurt was kidnapped? How else would Kurt have left unwillingly? That guilt in his stomach churned.

“I think you should sit down..” He said softly. There was a lot he wished he could say. Apologies. Truths. He wasn’t even human anymore. What was worse though, not being human or what he did prior to that? His relationship with Oliver wasn’t romantic, but they certainly weren’t ‘just’ anything none the less friends.
He bit at his thumb nail for a few moments, his eyes on the door.
“I can’t tell you everything yet. This is still a shock right now, I’m pretty sure..” He started before letting his eyes meet Blaine’s again. Kurt knew it was a shock, he could feel it. “No one took me, Blaine. I left. Not alone but it was my decision and I knew I’d be gone a while. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone.”
But was it? He certainly hopes so, but there are perfect memories of the thrill he loved so much of sneaking off with Oliver and not getting away with it.

Kurt scoffed at himself and shook his head. “Dammit.” He said absently. “Look. I just- I’m a bad person, Blaine. I’ve lied to everyone in my life, I’ve hurt people, I hurt you and if I haven’t yet then I’m going to when I explain what the hell I’m talking about but I think I should go for now..”

      Sit down?  Blaine blinked up at Kurt in confusion.  What would Kurt have to tell him that was awful enough for him to have to sit down?  He could take whatever Kurt gave him because he was here to say it.  Having him here was all that mattered.  The rest?  They’d make it through because he’d never give up until Kurt was okay..

Blaine listened anyway.  Refusing to lose contact with Kurt , –he was still wondering if he’d just evaporate, touching him was his way of making sure he stayed instead of bolting out the door Kurt kept watching–, he pressed his palms against the sides of Kurt’s arms and ran them all the way down until their fingers could be laced together.  “Don’t run.  I know what you’re thinking.  Don’t.  Not until we talk.”
      The truth split his heart in two the minute it hit his ears.  There it was.  Kurt telling him something so many ‘well wishers’ began to try to convince him of months into Kurt’s disappearance.  That maybe he left on his own.  That he didn’t want to be found.  That he was finding himself like some people need to.  Blaine countered each bit of ‘helpful advice’ with the protest that Kurt wouldn’t just disappear on him.  That if he needed to ‘find himself’, they’d find whatever he was missing together.  

Except they were right.  “You left,” he asked hoping that he made a mistake and heard things wrong knowing damn well he didn’t.  “Why?  What did I do,” his voice broke badly enough he swallowed to get it back, “You could’ve come to me.  That’s how we work–ed.”  Kurt saying he should go made Blaine react by holding onto his hands tighter.  “No.  You don’t get to tell me that and leave–again–. That’s not fair.  I waited for you.  I told them they were awful for giving up on you.  I cut ties. I lost friends.  You don’t get to leave me facing them knowing that they were right and I was wrong.  Not before you tell me the truth and why you didn’t tell me anything for months.”