“Blaine, you know what I meant. I was putting emphasis on the audacity of your choices. So I’m taking that as a yes, there are more seasons. You know what? I don’t even want to know. I’m afraid of how much time you spent indulged in a story about a SERIAL KILLER. We are starting nowhere, because your obsession is over. && Yes, it is an obsession after you’ve spent over twenty four hours focused on it. Okay, I know I’m yelling. I’m calm, it’s okay. — SIX SHOT ESPRESSO?! Are you trying to turn into the hulk or something?! No no no, you are not sweet talking your way out of this one. I’m not kidding, I think you need a cleanse. An electronics cleanse.”
“It’s not like he could crawl out of the tablet and hurt people? Geez, Kurt. It’s not that bad. Honey? The yelling’s back. I didn’t read the label! I just ordered it by the name and it sounded delightful. Oh! And it so was! You got to admit that turning into the Hulk would be pretty neat. Except the green part. Or the uncontrollable rage. But! Even he had a good side? …Electronics cleanse? I know this isn’t going to win me any points but I’m already up to my nose deep. Might as well sink to my eyeballs. So.. You mean after the last two episodes? Don’t you?”
“Oh my god… I’m dating a couch potato. A TV binging, out of control couch potato. Do you even hear yourself? How are you not going blind? Blaine… You seriously went outside, ordered a COFFEE from another HUMAN BEING, all while watching this show? How many seasons are there anyways? If you say more than three, I’m banning you from the tablet. No, I do not want to know any more about your ruined morals or obsession with this — What?! NO, Blaine! We are not starting over from the beginning! Are you out of your mind? Go to bed! Or take a shower! Or SOMETHING remotely good for you!”
“Uh?? I don’t get it. Who else would I order coffee from than another human being? Maybe I don’t want to tell you how many seasons there are if it’s going to end up with you banning me from my tablet. How are my morals ruined?? What? You really think that’s happened? I’m not obsessed. I’m interested. There’s a HUGE difference! Where else would we start if you don’t want to watch the last couple of episodes, honey? Um–Kurt? You’re yelling? I’ll go to bed soon. I promise. After the six shot espresso wears off. Oh God. I shouldn’t have said that. Forget everything I just said. Bed! Bed would be great! You should come with me??”
“No — BLAINE. I don’t think you’re thinking about this rationally. You stayed in bed for THREE DAYS. I swear I’m going to get the she-devil back some day… I don’t want to root for a serial killer. Who wants that? && Even if I did, why would I only watch the last two episodes? That’s like going to dinner && only eating a bite of dessert. Spoils your entire appetite!”
“I didn’t stay in bed the entire time. That’s what the tablet is for, Kurt. I’ve been mobile. I even took it with me outside for thirty minutes to get coffee from the shop down the street and back. See? It’s not as terrible as you think. No, no! You’re not getting it! He’s a good guy and a serial killer. I know that sounds impossible and it would be in real life but—. We could start over from the beginning if you want?”
“Blaine — hold on a second. You did WHAT? Did you even eat? My god, did you shower? How can you binge watch a horror series in that little time? How did you not gag? && Since when were you into horror? Please tell me this isn’t Santana’s doing…”
“Showered last night when things got too intense. Food happened but I forget when. Santana had minimal involvement. Other than forcing me to get past saying no on repeat when she brought up the show and making me watch the first episode. Kurt..
He’s a serial killer who kills other serial killers. You root for this guy after seeing some of the people he goes after. I have to know how this ends. There’s two episodes left. Watch with me??”
pianokeysandbowties 