( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) I’ll make sure to bring my charm. ( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) You always get so bashful when I use it, killer..
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Is it even possible for you to leave your house without it? I don’t think so. ( mssg » sebastian | sent ) …I do not. No idea what you’re talking about at all, Sebastian..
( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) I don’t usually wear anything when I sleep. ( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) So I guess I can pack lightly, can’t I? ( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) Lol. Only kidding. ( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) Or am I??
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) I..um ( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Something tells me you weren’t actually kidding around. ( mssg » sebastian | sent )
I don’t know what! Call it a hunch. ( mssg » sebastian | sent )
But I, definitely, don’t think you were kidding.
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Changing the subject in a very obvious manner! Other than the courvoisier for the coffee.. Bring whatever else you think you need?
Why is it that Blaine could make him into… this? A speechless mess. So unlike what he puts out into the world everyday. What he allowed others to see and witness. This wasn’t it. For Blaine Anderson? Sebastian was so soft. A simple stare and he was getting LOST in hazel eyes. It had been difficultly frustrating to try and accept what he felt, because it added confusion into the mix. Confusion on why every little text message had him running to check his phone. Confusion on why he had so many DREAMS about what they could never be. Even daydreams in mid-conversation like the ones that had just happened. It came down to EVERYTHING that Blaine was. Everything he DID. Sebastian was a fool for it. Shame on him. The boy who seems like he’s in control of everything is so very SKITTISH to the mere thought of Blaine noticing that he had more than just eyes for his physical self.
He didn’t want the world to see him. But sometimes– just sometimes– Blaine managed to see what most couldn’t. Over time it hadn’t come to always seem like such a bad thought. Thankful that the subject is changed, eyes fill with sudden EXCITEMENT for the idea of hanging out and his grin goes from stupid and loose to his usual sharp and witty self. ❝Busy? Oh, please. You know I’m never too busy for you, killer.❞ he insists lightly with a brow raise, coffee in the grip of his left hand. ❝We could hit up Scandals tonight. Come over to my place first? Father’s out all night.. And if you need a place to crash AFTERWARDS I have a bed that fits the both of us – or you can pick from about four meaningless guest rooms that never come into use.❞
When the quiet lingered in those few seconds before Sebastian’s entire posture shifted back into the boy who he broadcasted for the world to see, Blaine was–finally–able to take in a real breath. Even then, his mouth was too dry to swallow and, thank God, his coffee was there to help. Sebastian had more of an effect on him than he realized (or did he and was only kind enough not to bring it up..?) and this time, it was no different. It’s that stare. That stare hones in on him and brings an intensity that makes him feel like every thought he has is under a microscope. That Sebastian sees him for everything that he is and all the good, bad and uneven parts that he out of habit locks away should they turn in the direction of the person Blaine tries to be..can’t be hidden or put under lock and key.
Sebastian sees him. And, yet, he stays. Blaine knows Sebastian is in his orbit. Willingly pulled in and lacking any want to break free. Sometimes Blaine doesn’t understand why or how but that doesn’t change the fact that he is. Though, he figures that Sebastian has no idea that he is in his. Especially when he steals all his gravity with the weight of that knowing look that says ‘I’ve read every page of who you are..and the chapters you’ve cut out, crumpled up and thrown away are the ones that pull me back. Cover to cover. Every time.’. It’s terrifying and comforting to have someone who wants him for himself. Someone that makes deciding to go out to a shady bar and polishes it off with a not so vague innuendo of sharing a bed together at the end of the night a stop and stare think moment. Passing his blush off with a lopsided grin that makes his bottom lip touch the hole in the plastic mouthpiece of his cup, Blaine takes one more sip and lowers it down with a smirk firmly in place. “Then maybe tonight..one of them won’t be so useless. I’d hate to impose. Weren’t you just telling me the other day that sleeping anything other than naked is a crime against humanity? I don’t want you to compromise your beliefs just for the sake of not sleeping alone..” Another grin that dissolves into a huff of a laugh and Blaine palms his face trying to get the heat to calm down since the coffee wasn’t helping much.
( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) What can I say, Blaine? My phone must be trying to tell us something, so it seems. ( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) I can bring some courvoisier. You’ll fall in love with it. Add some into your coffee and suddenly you’re getting both an energy boost and a buzz.
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Hmm. I wonder what that could be, Sebastian. ( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Wait. Don’t answer that. I realized my error sending that as soon as the bubble appeared on my screen.
😶
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Great! I look forward to finding out if how much you rave about it is true or not. I could use a bit of both, too. So that works out perfect. ( mssg » sebastian | sent )
You could bring something to sleep in, too. So you can drink and not worry about driving. Or I’m sure Cooper has clothes here that will fit you if you decide to do that later. Whatever you’d like!
❝Its barely nighttime, killer—❞ he rolls emerald eyes at Blaine both softly and playfully before a brow raises, a hand on the wheel. It was a lie, what he claims. It already WAS night. Past it. But to Sebastian, it was barely night. Why? Because when he was with Blaine, time didn’t matter. It vanished. Hours of the day. No. They were suddenly insignificant. Sebastian spent so much of his time stressing about making the MOST out of his life. Doing crazy, stupid things just so he doesn’t waste it. So he can have that rush. Succeeding more than everyone along the way. But not in these times. It was just hazel eyes and soft spoken words. Lingering stares and hands brushing ‘accidentally’. Sebastian knew he didn’t talk about his personal or home life ever with Blaine, really. Little casual brushing off kind of answers before he’s going back to filling Blaine with flirty compliments or bringing up something that happened at his last lacrosse game. But he knew that the question as to why Sebastian had been driving around out of his home at night wouldn’t be one they pondered on. When they were together, they had fun. It was special. Was that the word?
Sebastian sometimes thinks Blaine knows that he CLEARLY isn’t fond of talking about things like his family or his home. That the fact is quite see through. The hints had been dropped before as to why he wouldn’t want to. Anytime Blaine had come over it had been an empty mansion with only Sebastian in it. No warmth or home cooked meals. It was huge and cold. Quiet. Only filled with the music that Sebastian blasted throughout it. He knew he wouldn’t be judged for that. Blaine has the same kind of home life from what he’d picked up on. Always alone. Sebastian doesn’t notice but he’s clenching onto the wheel tighter than he knows. It’s always like that when he first sees Blaine. It takes a moment to CALM the way his stomach reacts. A feeling he would forever refuse to believe are the classic ‘butterflies’. As Blaine speaks he’s shooing them away as he tries his best to keep a smug smile and calmed features, not wanting to let the other know how NERVOUS he got around him at first. A fool. Yet? He couldn’t get enough of it even if he tried to distance himself from clinging onto being around Blaine so much. ❝—-I’m down, no second thoughts about it. We’re so going. Wanna give me some directions to his mysterious place?❞
“Okay, okay. I stand corrected. We have all the time in the world.” Blaine seems oblivious as always to the white knuckle grip Sebastian has on the steering wheel. Or the reason for it in the first place. But.. His hand covering Sebastian’s doesn’t pull away either. In fact, the edge of his thumb traces a light circle around the knuckle it rests on. Mindlessly picking up a pattern that’s slow and reassuring, to maybe just himself, that they aren’t alone anymore. At least for tonight, they have each other. A soothing warmth fills his bones, melts the tenseness that a lonely house started to make his muscles ache with and he curls up a little tighter and snuggles into the blanket as the noise of his shoes hitting the floor comes in two dull thuds. This is how they work. No one sees them like this. No one knows how deep their friendship goes. Past shamelessly unabashed flirting from Sebastian in public. Or how he manages to get Blaine tongue-tied in a matter of a smirky stare even when no one’s watching. No one sees that when things get quiet between them? They become something else. Blaine doesn’t know the word for it. Might not ever figure it out. But it’s something he could never chance losing and so, he plays things so careful sometimes. For Sebastian and for him and for their whatever they are he can’t ever picture going without on nights like this.
Not once looking away from his friend’s beautifully sharp profile. Just in case Sebastian looks his way, he wants him to know he has his full attention. It’s a route he’s driven so much on his own that he knows the scenery by heart now. “It’s easy to find. Just go down my street until you have to make a u-turn or go onto the dirt road. Just keep going. No one is at the house we’ll pass by. I think it’s someone’s second home. Anyway, I probably won’t have to tell you when we’re finally there. I’m sure you’ll notice,” he slowly grins and it lingers in the mischievous sparkle inside his eyes, “Mysterious. I know. Before you pick on me? It’s only because I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” His temple rests on the curved, leather edge of his seat and now that they are in fifth gear and he has a good twenty minutes before they have to shift down? Sebastian’s hand is lifted up, pulled over and held in Blaine’s lap because he’s greedy enough to want it there and comfortable enough to indulge himself. Caution aside. “Until we get there.. Got anything on your mind you need to talk about? If not..that’s okay. I just thought I’d ask, you know?”
That I AM pure and innocent all the time and you just have some bad judgement floating around in that superior-level mind of yours.
( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent )
Except when it comes to me of course. You invited me over and that’s pretty good judgement if I’d ever seen it.
( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) So… what should I bring when I head over?
( mssg » sebastian |sent ) I think you’re layering it on a little thick. Don’t you? Come on now. Pure and innocent? Um.. Not even a tiny bit.. ( mssg » sebastian |sent ) Is it now? I hope you’re right. I’d hate to think it was bad judgement on my part. 🙂 ( mssg » sebastian |sent ) Just yourself and your company. Unless you have something you’d want to bring?
In his life, he’d ALWAYS been a boy without any fears or doubts of himself for as long as anyone who knew Seb could remember (or so people thought). But when Blaine came along creating something different for him, he’d grown to fear HEAVILY ever losing his friendship. He knew too well that he played a risky game when he came around all the time the way he did. Flirting and teasing left and right. Sure, Blaine didn’t seem to mind and every time it felt the shorter of the two with a blush on his cheeks, but who know what he REALLY felt about how Sebastian was with him? What if it was ALL just him being too nice to tell him to stop being the way he was? That possibility for someone so polite like Blaine had ALWAYS been a small doubt of himself that he kept sealed off. The last thing he wanted to do was make him uncomfortable in the end of things. With Blaine, he’d NEVER taken greed into hand. Even if sometimes he may want the ex-Dalton boy all to himself. When it came to being around Blaine, the subject of interest had always been supporting him and being as close to him as he could. Despite the spots in them knowing each other that he had messed up with. The big mistakes he had made at the beginning of things.
Seeing he had gotten Blaine’s attention as he had impulsively intended, his heartbeat sped up RAPIDLY. There he was, Blaine Anderson (the boy he had been DRAWN to ever since he had first laid eyes on him), flawlessly GORGEOUS and waiting on Sebastian’s question now. Eyes charm to the ever-so-adorable smile he’s given by Blaine, and emerald hues scan up and down briefly before his stare settles back on golden hazels. A TUG at the corner of his lips is given to the other, pulling his hand away from his shoulder and slipping it in his pocket. There’s a moment of hesitation when he’s about to ask, lips parted already but eyes narrowing in trivial wonder if he’s being too VULNERABLE to ask this. But he knows Blaine is the one he can always be HIMSELF with. His authentic, true self. The parts he DOESN’T show others. So? Seb says fuck it. ❝You’d tell me if I ever made you feel uneasy —– wouldn’t you, killer?❞
The touch is gone nearly as quickly as it stopped him. Hazel eyes watched Sebastian’s hand retreating into his pocket before darting back up expectantly. He’d be lying if he said his shoulder didn’t suddenly feel so much colder than it was before now that Sebastian’s hand was gone. Not letting himself focus on that notion–he bites his lip and waits. Blaine’s gaze remains curiously questioning as he watches Sebastian seem to sort through a few thoughts in his mind. What was bothering him so much that he looked so hesitant to bring it up? A quick sort through the moments previous turned up nothing that Blaine could pinpoint that might cause that expression. The first question that popped up? –What’ is so bad that you can’t say?– Sebastian was rarely ever the type to hold his tongue. Their endless banter since the day they met was proof of that. If he was hesitant? What could it be..?
The question that Sebastian finally put between them drew black eyebrows up higher on his forehead before they pinched together in confusion. Did he do something to make Sebastian feel that way?
“N-No. I mean yes,” he quickly corrects himself because how stupid did that just sound? Way to make an obviously concerned person momentarily freak out. Blushing at his error–Blaine steps forward and reaches out. This time–it’s his hand that comes to rest on Sebastian’s elbow. A touch to get his point across even more solidly. “What I wanted to say was that you don’t make me feel uneasy. You’ve never made me feel like I should guard myself.” Teeth flashed in a wide smile as he retracted his hand and cupped the back of his neck instead. Fingertips nudge, rub and itch along his skin. “We’ve always been the exact opposite of uneasy.” They were. The ease that he fit with Sebastian since day one was a mystery that consistently baffled him when he thought about it. A connection that he never would question because questioning it might ruin it. There wasn’t a single reason in the world why he’d want to chance doing that. “Did I do something? Act in a way that made you wonder? I didn’t mean to if I did.”
When he hears Blaine say his name, he’s snapped back to earth INSTANTLY and for a moment his face goes soft and gentle whilst his mind tries to recollect what Blaine had been saying the whole time he was FANTASIZING. Staring across the Dalton cafe’ table, an eyebrow furrowing just slightly.
❝I—-❞ he begins under his breath. Not the USUAL mischief running around in his expression. Just a lost stare as he quickly ties to snap back from the stupidness he had come so close to getting caught in. He wouldn’t let Blaine know that in the middle of hazel eyes staring and his words coming out so perfect, Sebastian had fallen into total daydreams about Blaine and he. God, it was almost DISGUSTING that Sebastian had let himself be a victim of something so sickly mushy. He can’t help but let a stupid grin perk up on his lips, attempting to hold it back. He felt like he was flushed but luckily he didn’t visibly blush easily. But finally, he’s staring to try to fill his mouth with an excuse before his smile grows and teeth are shown. ❝—–My brain definitely DIDN’T trail off anywhere, killer. SUCH a liar. Accusing me of something so insane. How could I get distracted while you’re telling me about the THRILLING Batman fanfiction you read last night.❞ Light sarcasm dances in his voice as he laughs a little with a wide grin. ❝You have it wrong.❞
Seeing Sebastian’s gentle expression ran a streak of curiosity through Blaine’s mind. He tilted his head to the side–hazel narrowing on brilliant green. The whisper was so soft. So unlike usual broadcasted Sebastian that it drew Blaine to lean in and curl his fingertips around the lip of the table. “I–,” he repeats back Sebastian’s bare start of a reply but then Sebastian’s grinning and Blaine watches the gentility fade. Almost. But not quite. Because Sebastian doesn’t realize that his facade never really is as strong as he thinks it is. Not when he tries to hide the way he watches him–Blaine sees it and he never wants it to go away and wishes that one day there might come a time where Sebastian’s okay with it being there too. Sure–he hasn’t earned the right for Sebastian to look at him like that. Nothing rings a bell in Blaine’s thoughts of any real reason why he should be so selfish as to have the want to be wanted the way he knows Sebastian wants him. Yet it’s there and sometimes Sebastian wears it on his sleeve. Only to tuck it up out of sight the minute that he sees Blaine notice. Doesn’t he want him to? Isn’t that the point of everything Sebastian’s ever done? To have him see that expression? Or was he supposed to keep letting it slide like he does now because he’s too careful to risk damaging them. Sitting up straight–Blaine laughs at the perfect timing between Sebastian’s dismissal and jab at his expense. The sarcasm is met with a smile and a sassing back roll of Blaine’s eyes. “I understand. You were riveted. That was a really good fiction.” Too bad he stopped talking about it five minutes ago and Sebastian apparently forgot what they he were was really talking about. Let it slide. And he does. “Hey. We have a practice night off. Let’s go do something. What do you think? Or are you busy?”
“Earth to Sebastian Smythe? I haven’t seen you look that lost in a conversation since the last time I called you out on the fact that you can’t request alcohol in your coffee when the coffee shop is on school grounds. Where–exactly–did your brain just trail off to?”
Before coming here, Sebastian really had no idea in particular on what he was going to do for the night until he went back home. He truly DIDN’T have the objective to come straight here. It was one of those nights where he needed to run from his home for awhile, breathe in fresh air and escape the SUFFOCATION that solitude could give him at times. Sleeping was hard a lot of the times for him with all of the night terrors. So many nights, just like this one, he’d just drive endlessly through the night with music blaring. It was an ESCAPE. On this night particular? No matter how much he began to drive he didn’t feel like he was running away from ANYTHING at all. Trapped in a sense. So?? He went to the one place he KNEW he’d find someone who would spend time with him despite it being late night. Someone who made him happy and feel at home (for a reason he could never bring himself to understand). Blaine did that for him, and he played it off as is he had just casually dropped by pretty skillfully. Blaine was quick to hand out with him for someone that had a boyfriend but MAYBE that was just Sebastian’s hopeful mind talking.
One last light laughter over the fact that he’d accomplished at teasing Blaine and a SMIRK down at the texts on his phone screen before he set it aside and lounged back in his seat to wait for Blaine. Flipping down the driver seat visor in the mean time to check himself out in the mirror, gelled hair is adjusted a bit and he makes a model-esque face at himself to assure he looked hot for Blaine before flipping it back up. SURE, they were just friends but they both knew Sebastian would forever want MORE. They were at the point where it didn’t affect their friendship though; Though had it ever?? Eyes glance over to see Blaine making his way to the car, and the Warbler finds himself grinning like an IDIOT all the way until he passenger door is opened. Blaine is greeted with a look that read more than happy to see him. Sebastian always tried to play it cool and be subtle like he’d accomplished at before but at times like this he’s a smiling mess. ❝ What can I say, buddy? I missed my favorite – and the ONLY tolerable – McKinley boy. Get in, sleepy head. You look like you just smoked a joint. ❞ A playful laugh leaves his lips, a pair of fingers tightening around the wheel.
What never ceases to make Blaine feel so amazed by the boy in the driver’s seat is the fact that when Sebastian looks at him? He looks at him like Blaine’s never seen him look at anyone else. There was a light in Sebastian’s eyes that Blaine knew wasn’t there when he started out on his late night drive. No one combs the roads of Westerville in the middle of a fall evening with nothing on their mind and for no reason. They’ve talked about a lot of things by now. Secrets shared that Blaine–oddly–felt okay to tell to Sebastian and let the weight of his thoughts be bared on shoulders that wanted to take the haul. Maybe it was some weird reciprocation thing. Because Sebastian has shared a lot about what goes on in his life with Blaine. Considering some of it wasn’t pleasant or happy? Sebastian might’ve felt like he had to make up for giving over those details by taking some of Blaine’s burdens that he was too cautious to hurt others or make them worry by sharing them. Kurt would worry too much. He had enough issues that they were working through. Blaine would never add to that list. Not that Kurt couldn’t take it. He would and he’d do it willingly over and over. Blaine knew that.
What he–also–knew was that he was carefully selfish to keep these thoughts or details about his life to himself until Sebastian came along. Then the layers of careful were peeled away by someone who has been there. In their own version that was similar but different. A common ground of loneliness in ways built by empty, large houses–gifts to keep themselves occupied–and a world that most kids their age would give an arm and a leg to have until they knew it came with dinners eaten alone–yet one more phone call of Sorry, son, can’t make it and experiences you dealt with alone that could chip away at self-confidence or leave you feeling–well as quiet (because Blaine didn’t want to use any other words to describe it, not even in his own thoughts) as the house that was soon to be in their rearview mirror. Sebastian lived for moments when his father wasn’t around, it seemed. Blaine lived for moments were his was. The biggest contrast but still oddly..alike emotionally. When he was settled in and the blanket he wished he could share with Sebastian and not end up with them driving off the road was pulled up to his shoulders and he was a ball in the driver’s seat facing his friend? Blaine reached a hand over, cupped his fingers over Sebastian’s palm on the stick shift and laughed. “Me? Smoke a joint? Are you nuts? Yeah..no. Where are we going? I know a place if you’re interested and awake enough. It’ll take us about an hour to get there though. Unless we’re already en route to somewhere? If so? We can wait until another day.”
( mssg » killer 🍑 | sent ) What can I say, Blaine? My phone must be trying to tell us something, so it seems.
pianokeysandbowties 