Out Of Luck

kurt.

While he was gone it was a vague feeling, mixed up with the ones of his friends and family. He wondered about Lima as a whole then, and thank god for that if that is what let him avoid this. Kurt tried to find words for a minute before it came out, quiet but steadier than he would have thought it would be. He shrugged his shoulders and sighed. “I don’t know.. I don’t know what else I expected to happen.“ He’s sure at this point that he had to have been in denial that this was a possibility. The toll taken on Blaine was a possible outcome from the start that he swept under the rug in disbelief.

As Blaine continued, Kurt lost his voice. ‘What we’ve been through’, that felt so small now. With everything he did with Oliver, finding out what he was, and especially now, what were a few little rough patches in a high school relationship? Those experiences, the ones that mattered so much before, they were almost nothing now. He had been through as close to hell as he could get without losing his family. It were the good times that he remembered when thinking back. Not the drama or difficulties of his relationships.

He couldn’t do this when Blaine let his head hang. Kurt stepped close and wrapped his arms around the other. It didn’t matter if he was shoved away or if he got to stay here, as he embraced his last love he breathed the words, “You didn’t. None of this is your fault.” And dear god he hopes he can show him that. Blaine was the last person to be blamed. The closest thing to contributing he did was trust Kurt when he lied.

He didn’t move-didn’t budge from his spot. Fingers pressed into the hollows of his eyes as if his hands in front of his face were a wall that he was able to hide behind so Kurt wouldn’t see him breaking down. It’d been weeks since he let anyone see him cry. He was so done being everyone else’s cause for concern that he kept his eyes dry and his smile and voice perfectly in place and pitch so everyone would stop asking if he was okay and worrying so deep that he wasn’t. But this? This was too much and all he’d been holding back came crashing down on shaking shoulders that he couldn’t hold up or still anymore.

Just when he thought he couldn’t feel more empty but aching–in love but broken and hating himself for it–with Kurt but so alone–a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him in. He’d hid so deep that he didn’t hear Kurt approaching. Didn’t sense him there until he was holding him and Blaine moved his arms up from where they were bent between them to wrap both around Kurt’s shoulders as he dissolved against him. He–at last–found his safe place. The one that was his go-to always.

Buried into the slope of Kurt’s neck where the world faded to nothing but black, the smell of Kurt’s skin and shampoo–Blaine stopped being the strong one. Maybe for just a couple of seconds until he could gather up the willpower to be it again. Until then–Kurt was the rock he needed to lean on for months now. Just to have him safe enough to be that. “Please love me back. I need you,” he whispered against Kurt’s throat noticing it was damp with his tears, “Please tell me you still need me too. We can be okay if we just love each other. We can make this okay..”

Out Of Luck

kurt.

He watched him. Just watched, and waited, and felt as his energies changed. As the confusion and pain of it overpowered the anger, Kurt thought he might visibly wince. It’s not like this were better or worse than when Blaine was starting to yell but to Kurt he sounded more defeated. What a fantastic job he’s done with this boy. How did this happen?
Well, he knew how it happened on some level. He can’t say it was Oliver’s fault. He wasn’t going to force Kurt into it, he warned him of the pain he might endure and how long he’d be gone from everyone’s lives. But if he were to simply look at Blaine when he left to where they were now- shameful.

He shut his eyes tight finally when Blaine spoke. “I didn’t forget you…” He always was an emotional person, only fitting his voice would be smaller now. “I thought,” He started slowly, trying to build himself back up. “I hoped, you would somehow know. It makes no sense but Blaine I lied to you, and I left, and I’m not even human anymore- how am I worth that–worth this?” He shot an honest look to him, but he’s not entirely sure what it gives off. With a sigh, he turned his gaze to the floor. “Somehow, I had this crazy hope that you knew subconsciously or something that I was doing wrong and you’d let go so yes, I forgot you loved me.” He was rambling a little and he was starting to feel weak in a way- emotion, he knew. He hadn’t felt so sad since before he left. Returning home was happier than this even if it was emotional.

Kurt took a deep breath, steadying himself and standing slowly. Just in case he was allowed to move closer. “I know it’s not an excuse or anything but I– I’m done lying to you.” He’s pretty sure he’d answer anything Blaine asked him – except for what he did a moment ago – just so he wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.

Blaine was struggling so hard to not shed one more tear. His effort hurt a lot more than only physically. The pain in his throat and the way his hands shook with the clenching of his stomach was nothing compared to the way his heart ached, his head spun. All the hopelessness he felt swallowed up any shred of hanging onto the fact that this might be okay if he just-kept-begging to be heard more and more–second by agonizing second. Confusion filled his already large eyes. It twisted itself onto his features as he shook his head and weakly muttered, “How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to believe that about you even if I felt it and not blame myself? Or feel guilty? When there was every possibility that you were somewhere lost, scared, and I was safe and sound thinking the worst of you? That’s not me. That’s not how you love someone.”

The death blow to his resolve to remain strong came in hearing that Kurt ‘forgot he loved him’. Blaine’s face crumbled as the flimsy wall he was clinging to in his heart gave way and fell apart. “You did? Because you wanted to? Or because you had to,” he asked but he already knew the answer and Kurt was saying something that he spoke over and didn’t quite get. Something about not lying to him anymore. Blaine wasn’t sure but what would it’ve done to comfort him anyway when there was an infinite amount of space between him and the man he loved. Not just in the flesh but in the hole he felt himself falling into. One he just drug himself out of with the news Kurt was back. But it was waiting oh-so-close–nipping at his heels to suck him right back in.

“You’re worth it because you’re you and we’re us and everything we’ve been through matters to me. I didn’t forget any of it. You did.” A rush of willpower seeped through his veins. Cold as he wished he could truly be. It helped him flatten out his expression–searching Kurt’s eyes desperately as he took a few breaths. Problem was? It didn’t stay for more than a couple seconds before he buckled back down again and his shoulders slouched, head bowed and tears hit his hands before he could reach up to rub frustratedly at his eyes. “When did I stop being enough?”

Out Of Luck

barely breathing.

It hurt- it all hurt but it was what he brought on himself. Never once did Kurt think he would be this person. He was better than that. Was being the keyword. He swallowed dryly but kept himself as neutral as possible without shutting off until Blaine was finished. The thing is, he was right. Kurt wouldn’t have done this- without word or sign that he was even alive – it wasn’t who he was but he knew before he came here that he was different. As soon as he left he knew, and it only continued the longer he was gone. He wasn’t even human, none he less the same person. So wrapped up in his own world.
In their world.

He didn’t regret it. He only wished it hadn’t had this effect. He blinked and tried to turn his eyes back to normal but he was on the edge of tearing up and was telling himself that was cheating. He’s not sure how it is, but it didn’t feel right to look so human and not be during this. His fingertips hurt and he pressed his nails into his palms just in case. He didn’t need to freak Blaine out any further even if it was just a tint in his digits or nails growing. He reigned himself in with a deep breath and nodded slightly. “Yeah. I was selfish. I probably still am. It’s not who I always was or expected to become but it’s what happened. If I thought you’d react the way you did..” He didn’t mean to sound so.. Pleading. Or close to it at least. “I thought you’d move on, Blaine. I hoped you’d listen to what I knew everyone else would say and you’d give up and I could force myself to let go so I wouldn’t be here right now but that didn’t work out either.” He thought Blaine might find someone else to look at with that warm look in his eyes Kurt was used to. His gaze finally caught Blaine’s hand on the door handle and he felt suddenly defeated in a way. "You weren’t supposed to wait..“ It was a high school romance, how long could it last anyway? ~~He didn’t sound like himself when thinking that~~ The idea of forever with Blaine was a warming thought still, but their forevers were different now, weren’t they? He couldn’t promise anything any more.

Blaine’s fingers gripping the door handle sagged and fell to his side and hung there, shoulders slouching backwards against the doorframe as the adrenaline rushed out of him in one long, deep exhale that rattled in his throat. How was he supposed to stare at Kurt who sounded like he wanted him to listen to badly as he finally started to open up. What did he get for his trouble? Another slap to the face as Kurt told him he expected him to move on. Confusion twisted his eyebrows together and the back of his head slumped to clunk against the wood. How was he supposed to keep fighting if everything he felt–months of heartache and fear then relief and hope that was so brief it left him unable to think of anything else except ‘what did I do’–was reduced to ‘I thought you’d move on, Blaine.’ laced together with hope that he would?

‘You weren’t supposed to wait..’

He tried to talk twice. Twice he ended up speechless except garbled noises and nothing that made sense. Breaths. Stuttered attempts. That’s it. “What–,” he forced his lips apart to get the question out. “Move on? How was I supposed to move on when I thought someone was hurting you, Kurt?” He palmed the back of his left hand into his right pleading with every bone in his body and barely there voice he could muster up for Kurt to understand where he was coming from and to –Please. Please come here. Please. I need you so much I can’t stand it and you’re just standing there staring at me.– Or that you were–worse than that.” So what if he was crying when he told himself two seconds ago he wouldn’t? None of this made sense and he couldn’t hold it together anymore. “How can you stand so far away from me and tell me you expected me to move on? Did you forget me? Or who I am? Or who we are–were–what are we now?” Why did he ask that? He wasn’t sure he could take the answer. “I love you, Kurt. I love you so much,” he swallowed thick and wiped across his mouth with a shaking hand. “Please tell me you didn’t forget that, too?”

Out Of Luck

take it back.

What was really occurring to him though was just how powerful Blaine’s feelings were. He was a perfect target, actually. But that was just the hunter in Kurt talking.

Blaine thought it was his fault? How on Earth could he have chased Kurt away into being a demon? Kurt imagined he would say the same thing if the tables were turned. So he remained exactly where he was and hoped his voice was as steady as he wanted it. “It’s not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to stop me, Blaine. And I was never going to be gone forever I-” he’s sure there’s not a better way to word things. “It was a temporary leave so it could happen and I could adjust but if I told anyone where I was they might try to stop me or come looking and that could not happen.” He sighed, raking a hand through his hair again.

Would it be wrong to try and comfort him? Kurt couldn’t say he regretted it, because in all honesty he didn’t. It was strange from the start and only got more so as time went on. Blaine was never a part of the equation. He felt bad and he probably wouldn’t say it, but it was just a fact. Every night that he left the house with Oliver it was like leaving his entire life. It was such a thrilling freedom. Even if he did think of telling Blaine time and time again. He didn’t understand it back then any more than he did now, which is to say, not at all.

There was nothing he could have done to stop him. Ask him thirty seconds ago if his heart could break anymore than it already was? He’d have told you no. He was wrong.

“Of course I would have tried to stop you,” his voice was broken. An unsteady whisper that was borderlining on utter silence or bursting out into a scream. Blaine rubbed at his face trying to calm himself down. He couldn’t count on Kurt to help. He had to do this on his own. Much like everything he’s done the past six months through spots of him letting people “help” because he couldn’t hurt them by turning them away. His breath picking up faster said none of his efforts worked. Never would he think that being near Kurt would make him feel alone. It did and it hurt so bad he felt like he was suffocating. “That’s what you do for people you love, Kurt. You try to stop them from walking out of your life and into something that–oh wait,” a huff rattled out. With tears in his eyes–Blaine laughed. If you could call the quiet tumble of sound shaking his shoulders a laugh. More a frustrated, torn apart, utterly baffled noise that had his eyes rolling to keep himself from crying–he wasn’t going to start. If he started? He might not stop.

“I forgot. You can’t keep someone from making a mistake when it’s not a mistake to them. You wanted to leave everyone–even me–and it didn’t matter what shape you left us in. As long as you got what you wanted. I WAITED for you, Kurt. I waited!” He wasn’t yelling–not yet–but he was oh so close. “I had nightmares for months that you were somewhere begging me to help. No one would listen. I thought you were hurting. I couldn’t let myself believe it was worse.” Even with Kurt standing there alive–the idea made him blanch. Living proof those memories and feelings weren’t quite put to rest yet. “But if it was? I needed to bring you home. Regardless–I had to find you! I lied to my parents or waited until they were gone and went to look for you when Burt stopped! I got caught more than once! I didn’t–” He stopped himself, lowered his voice, straightened his back against the wall and grabbed onto the door handle but didn’t open it. “You promised me you’d never leave. You promised. I believed you so much that nothing our friends or family said mattered because the only thing that did? Was our forever and that meant more to me than what anyone else said. For my own good or not.”

Out Of Luck

kurt.

He wanted to lie. As he saw Blaine’s frantic movement and heard that kind of voice he wanted to apologize again but he couldn’t leave things as they were. It was all or nothing, to an extent. He couldn’t chicken out. He’d have to explain more another time, when things were less of a shock. Then he’d go on to say that nothing else was real. No angels, no fairy tail creatures, just another species of creature that entered the human ‘world’ a long time ago.

When Kurt found out about these things, it wasn’t someone he loved. It was someone he was fond of but he didn’t really know Oliver and didn’t mind that. The disbelief, he went through that, but he didn’t have this moment that Blaine was. Kurt was composed as he listened to his friend and he took in another deep breath. “I can’t lie to you, Blaine. Not about this.” He shook his head but kept his eyes – he was freaked out by them the first day himself – locked on him, as if Blaine might not believe it without some kind of proof staring at him. “I’d love to tell you it’s not real but it is.”

If he knew what Oliver was when they met, he wondered if things would have been different. He felt like he’s been tricked – lured – in when he found out. He trusted this boy to guide him blindly almost every night, like he’d never normally do, and the guy was a demon. That sense of betrayal felt so small now. He hadn’t been one himself this entire time, no, but he left to become one knowingly. How much did that sting? Was it only confusing because human feelings felt more distant now or was it truly how different their experiences were? Where did his empathy go?

Never in his life did Blaine think that he would be putting distance between him and the man sitting on his bed staring at him–but he was. Step by step until his back was pressed against the door and he ran out of space to move any further. –Instinct? Fear? Room to breathe? He had no idea, he was just moving.– Nor would he ever dream that he couldn’t meet Kurt’s eyes. Looking inside of them had always felt like peering into a window and realizing he was home. Now they dropped Blaine’s heart when he realized that they might not be anymore. –Who was he kidding?– They weren’t. –Were they?–

Knowing that made him stare at the metal headboard past Kurt’s head unable to take what he saw and that sinking feeling in his gut that his doubts were real. There was nothing he could do but listen because it was the truth and truth was so important between them. From moment one up to now. No matter if it was breaking into pieces he wasn’t sure how he could fix. Or if he was the only one of them to remember for months that they promised to always be honest. Blaine’s mind was reeling. He could beg Kurt for it to be a lie–part of him desperately wanted to–but Kurt couldn’t give that to him.

“You left me for that,” he immediately regretted asking. “You left everyone for,” a shaking hand waved at Kurt before both reached up and shoved through his hair loosening the usually tamed curls and causing some to hang down. Balling them into fists next, he dug into his eyes. When he stopped, they were red and his lashes barely held back tears that were bound to start falling with the next crackling exhale. “How–? Why–? What did I do to make you think that this is what you wanted?” His mind continued to scream that this wasn’t real, that this was impossible. He could hear it so loud that it made his head hurt but all he could think to ask was how, why and what?

Out Of Luck

this can’t be real.

Honestly, when he arrived, Kurt was expecting more yelling. He should know Blaine better than anyone but not only did he not anymore, but in a way that’s what he chose. Blaine waited for him against everything everyone else thought and still isn’t mad. It was ridiculous devotion, but if anyone was going to give that to someone it would be Blaine. Whether he should have seen it coming or not, Kurt didn’t expect it to last this long.

He could practically hear Oliver in his mind reminding him to behave like a normal person and get to the point.
Kurt took Blaine’s hand again and held it tight. He opened his eyes and locked them onto Blaine’s, color changed and iris’ glowing. “I’m a demon.” He said with a sad smile. “And so is he and a surprising amount of other people, and it’s the reason I was gone.” If there was any good reason for disappearing, it was this one. That much he knew, but how Blaine will react is up in the air still. Kurt could feel a mess of emotions around him, hard to pinpoint but none good. Absently, he wondered if Blaine would let them all out now or if he’d try to deny it and those feelings a little longer. He also noted that Oliver will wish he was here when -if- he hears about it.
‘Never miss the chance to grab a snack, ok, emotional breakdowns are great for us. If you don’t know the guy or gal.’

All he wanted was to understand what he did that was so wrong that Kurt felt like he couldn’t come to him. Their relationship was so much more than what they were reduced to with Kurt just–walking away–without so much as a word. Or even a goodbye that would leave more questions than he’d probably get answers for but at least the pain could have been targeted at a source. Rather than the unknown and in that unknown the fear that something horrible happened to the person he loved the absolute most out of anyone in his life.

Sometimes being left in the dark with all it’s confusion and agonizing questions–why?–what if?–how?–was much better than having the answers. Blaine didn’t realize that until it was too late. Too eager to find out why. Too invested in something that maybe only –he– was invested in to let things go without knowing.
The answer he was about to receive as he squeezed Kurt’s hand wasn’t anything that he’d imagine to be real much less happening to them. His rationale screamed for what he saw to be only a trick of the light combined with a tired brain and a frustrated fog he had yet to walk out of for months. It wasn’t. His eyes widened, face going pale as he stared from Kurt’s eyes to their hands and back. An open mouth stuttered and nothing came out. Fairy tales, nightmares and legends. All of it. Not REAL. Never REAL. His body reacted before his mind wrapped around the news completely to process it right. Like that was going to happen soon. Scrambling off the bed, his fingers snapped into his palm as they left Kurt’s. Blaine began to lose his composure, his patience and any sense of pleading understanding as he lifted trembling hands and rubbed his face.
“Please tell me this is is a lie you’re making up to freak me out instead of hurting me because you think that might be better. It’s working on the freaking out part but if you left for–just–you didn’t and wouldn’t,” there was something in his voice that said he didn’t even believe what he was asking Kurt to do but had to try. –Please lie to me if it isn’t either.–

gone when the morning came.

“Thank you.” Kurt smiled softly. God he hated this. He hated leaving uncertainly, he hated being able to see how incredibly fake Blaine’s words were. Kurt didn’t recall a time so far that Blaine’s smile quite matched the emotion he was radiating. “I’ll be back when you’re ready. And I’ll explain more then. Just take it easy ok? It doesn’t do either of us any good for you to fake that smile another time.” He himself wasn’t sure what else he could do then, so he turned to Oliver who gave a slight nod and lead him out of the room.

Kurt couldn’t stay at his own home without having to explain who Oliver was, which he wasn’t about to try and do, so they were at a motel in between home and Dalton. Kurt insisted he needed to mend things with Blaine in some capacity before they left the state, so he made sure any plans he had for starting his life wouldn’t be in the way until the next year started, and that he was settled in between the two locations. His family came first, but Blaine had started to feel like family before Oliver showed up, and according to Finn Kurt’s leave hit him hard. If Blaine had been moving on fine, that would be one thing. But Kurt couldn’t never talk to him again with the way things were. He argued with Oliver about telling Blaine the whole truth. Oliver told a few of his friends when he first changed many years ago, and it surprisingly didn’t backfire on him either, so they reasoned it would be fine..

For now, he’d wait for the call from Blaine. Until Blaine was ready, which Kurt would know when that was, he’d focus on family.

What could he say to Kurt’s ‘thank you’ other than to lift his hand in a small wave before he let it fall limply. His lips dropped open and there were supposed to be words said to the advice that he take it easy but at first? They only pressed back together in a sad smile as he shrugged and nodded. “–Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I’ll give it a try.” Warily looking between the two, the smile fell. Why fake it? Kurt saw through it anyway. Blaine waited for the door to close before he could force the tightness in his chest at bay enough to –breathe–.

Two hours later and he had yet to go to class. Pacing was driving him insane. A text message to Jeff and Sebastian promised he’d be at practice. Rushing to get ready didn’t make up enough time for him not to be ten minutes late. By the end of a distracted day he had enough stares from his friends and, of course, Sebastian outright questioning him what was wrong. Brushing off concern wasn’t in Blaine’s DNA. Making excuses for his friends not to have it? Yes, he was well equipped at that even if it rarely worked because he wasn’t the best at pulling it off. It was only a rare chance when he did and it never ceased to surprise him when he got away with it. He couldn’t pretend that their worry meant nothing. Nor could he ignore that he felt guilty for causing his friends concern. So, they stayed late into the night doing what he did best to let it all out. They sang. The more he lost himself that way? The easier it was to smile, laugh and put their minds at ease. Later that evening, Blaine waited for Kurt to show up. Not knowing if he would or not. Deep down, he wasn’t sure he was ready to see him yet either. Knowing that he had the thing that did this to them nearby at all times made him sick to the stomach.

Not that he had much choice. A fact he hated in all this. There was no knock on the door that night. Or the next.

–Finished–

kurt.

Even if he were asked by someone he could trust, Kurt wasn’t sure if he could explain his and Oliver’s relationship. He saw the disgust Blaine had when he touched him and he wondered if he’d ever be able to tell the whole truth. He wanted to, some things less than others but he was going to come clean to someone and god he hoped it could be Blaine. But they’ve touched. They’ve held each other and Oliver kept Kurt alive during those first few months. He took care and trained him but it was when things got easier and before it even started that he wondered if he could mention.

Kurt looked up at Oliver before he could speak, and reluctantly Oliver obeyed what he knew Kurt wanted and kept his mouth shut. The room was silent until Blaine let go and whispered again, neither demon wanting to see the trail of events that would follow Blaine getting any more physical. Kurt didn’t want to see him get hurt. Not any more hurt than he would be when Kurt replied.
“Blaine..” He pursed his lips. “When demons turn humans they become physically attached until the younger one can take care of themselves again–I can’t stay without him. If he leaves school grounds then we’ll both be sick.”

Oliver gravitated closer to the door, simply to not be immediately next to the pair on the bed. He assumed it was smarter, given the looks on their faces. Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand as if the gesture could translate how sorry he was. “I have to go now.”
Oliver stretched his neck from side to side. “We’re not goin’ off the grid this time, just down the road an hour.” He wasn’t much louder than if he mumbled, clearly not enjoying this encounter. Still, Kurt stood and waited for affirmation that Blaine would let him leave.

Blaine deflated sighing out the last of his breath as Kurt explained why he had to leave. What was said put him at a loss for any sort of argument he might put up against Kurt having to leave. How was he supposed to ask him to stay if it was going to hurt or make him sick? He tried to ignore the idea that Oliver must have been close for the whole night judging from the same explanation that left him without any ground to stand on. That thought was something he could deal with later when Kurt was gone and couldn’t see exactly how deep this entire situation was eating at him the more he learned.

Kurt squeezing his hand caused his grip to instinctively tighten back. “Yeah,” he nodded staring up at him doing the worst job ever at faking a smile. “Yeah. Okay. I understand.” The mechanics. Blaine understood the mechanics but there was so much he didn’t. –Couldn’t.- He’d die trying if he was given the chance though. Don’t think he wouldn’t.
Each finger loosening was it’s own ten ton weight on top of him until his hand was empty and Kurt stood. One peep out of Oliver made him press his lips tight to keep back words that were on the tip of his tongue. –Why was he still in here? The hallway would be fine to wait in. Or was watching this giving him some sadistic kind of thrill?–

He’d already ruined so much. Why not step back and listen to/admire his handiwork right? “I’ll see you soon,” he asked in a whisper. “Just don’t disappear on me. A mile can keep on going if you don’t know when to stop.” Another fake smile. Another would-be attempt at appearing way more okay than he truly was that failed.
Trusting anything from Oliver? Not going to happen. Kurt on the other hand? As stupid as he might be after becoming willfully blind and deaf to so much? He was trusting him not to reappear just to tear him apart again.

kurt.

The poor lighting in the room was half of the culprit to Oliver’s suspicious appearance. It made it hard to see his face, but the other half of the cause was Oliver himself. Kurt was still getting the hang of some of the smaller changes, but Oliver has been this way for a long time. He let his veins darken and his flesh looked like a sickly grey. It was harder to be noticed creeping around at night if he was darker, though he had no need for it now and was turning back to a human color. Kurt always thought it made him look like a reptile.

He paused when Blaine grabbed his wrist, straightening his back and pushing the hair out of his face with his free hand. He wasn’t intimidated by a human, but he didn’t doubt that Blaine meant business. It was an impressive fire he was radiating. His eyes flickered between Blaine and Kurt before he cracked a grin. “I see the appeal.” He mused, voice hushed. “Don’t worry, handsome, he’ll be back later-”

“He can speak for himself and is right here.” Kurt mumbled. He never saw Blaine like this before, which was understandable considering he never had a reason like this, but still he wasn’t exactly surprised by either of them and sat up with a sigh. He set his hand on Blaine’s, looked him in the eye, and remained as calm as possible as his attempt at reassurance.

The longer he held onto Oliver’s wrist, the more disgusted he felt. There stood the reason why Kurt left. Inside his room. Threatening to take Kurt away–again. “Who said he was leaving now,” he whispered back wishing his razor sharp words had the ability to actually cut. Blaine should have let go of the ‘man’ that was turning him sicker by the moment just being in contact with but instead that want to hurt him as badly as he hurt him–and Kurt–had Blaine gripping tighter for before he felt Kurt’s hand. Something in his resolve broke with the touch. The fire in his stare flickered, not dying out, but dimmed instantly.

Whether it was the fact that he his palm was just a small buffer between Kurt touching that thing and him and the fact that Blaine couldn’t stand the idea of Kurt coming into contact with him? –Even if he’d already done it. Blaine liked to ignore and drown the idea before it ever had the chance to become something more real.– Or something else entirely?

Oliver was released and Blaine laced his fingers with the pale ones that jarred him out of his blood starting to boil hotter than he’d felt it in years. He wasn’t the type to hate people. Hate was a word that was rarely used in his vocabulary of what he was capable of but he hated him and would NEVER be ashamed to let Oliver see the loathing glaring up from below. He ~~begged~~ whispered, “Tell him he doesn’t belong here. You do and you’re going to stay. Please–Kurt?” –Please don’t leave. Not with him.–

kurt.

The figure in the room quietly shut the door behind himself and grinned. How cute. Kurt hadn’t moved a muscle all night, still breathing calmly and wrapped around Blaine. The figure, Oliver, stood beside the bed and slid his hands into his pockets. For a long moment, he just stood there and watched them. But the moment could not last and he reached down to gently grab one of Kurt’s arms and bent over to whisper to him. “Time to head out.”

Kurt looked innocent when he slept, and he was a deep sleeper. His instincts had improved though, he was easier to wake now. His eyes barely opened before he was lazily pulling himself away, simply knowing. Still close to Blaine and not moving further, he rubbed at his eyes. “Just a little longer..” He mumbled. Oliver was not without empathy; he’s loved and lost before, but they could only stay for so long. It was boring to sit in the hall while everyone slept and being spotted would make him look like a creeper.

Blaine hardly slept a wink the entire night. He dozed now and then when the sound of Kurt’s breathing and the warmth of his body lulled him to closing his eyes and drifting of. Yet never hit much of a deep sleep at all. The fear of waking up alone wasn’t going to let him get too much rest. That and who knew when he’d be given the chance to hold Kurt like this again? Deep down he wasn’t convinced that each time Kurt left, he’d come back. Every walk away from him could be the last. He’d been so used to the hole in his stomach that opened up when Kurt disappeared that he just dealt with it now. Living like this couldn’t last forever. He wasn’t sure how much more of it could take.

One more day, one more time. Over and over. Blaine knew it was a horrible thing to do to himself but one look at Kurt had him convinced that he could keep going, keep holding out and holding on. Every ounce of common sense he had told him that he shouldn’t but he would because he loved him. Letting him go wasn’t possible. That’s why he was half awake when the door opened and why after Kurt mumbled, the figure beside the bed found his wrist firmly gripped and a pair of blazing darkened hazel eyes glaring up at him. Wide and full of a warning. No matter what it was. IT wasn’t taking Kurt. Not yet. Unless it got through him. Blaine slowly shook his head not voicing it but making the ‘No’ clear as the early morning sunshine coming through the curtain.