An all-too knowing smile was quick to grace the man’s features as he allowed another array of laughter to fall sweetly from his lips, happily watching Blaine reacquaint himself with their shiny newborn and gaze scarcely torn away as he further relaxed himself into the pillows. ❛ Something tells me Jesse’s probably already pretty much being coerced into trying out for the next one, ❜ Kurt teased, the much too lively image of his best friend / former roommate turned baby mama’s overly dramatic goodbyes still very much on the back of his mind as Blaine subtly reminded him of the going-ons of their earlier departure from the hospital.Witnessing the miracle of childbirth, as gruesome and not pretty the experience had been, and as crazy and annoying as Rachel sometimes was, had somehow gained him an entirely new perspective and deeper level of appreciation. Words of gratitude never quite possibly enough for the incredible, precious gift she, without so much a second of hesitation or a tiny twinge of regret, had irrevocably given them.
❛ I really don’t think I can do it, either. ❜ Fingertips traced gently along the soft fabric still securely wrapped around Hepburn’s tiny physique before his eyes once again caught hold of his husband’s, teeth sinking down his bottom lip in a feeble attempt to stop the giggle that inevitably followed. She looked so comfortable. They really were a hopeless bunch. ❛ I suppose we could do our twice daily recount of her fingers and toes. ❜
“Probably. But I don’t think he’s going to need that much convincing..”
Just as he felt like his heart couldn’t fill any further with love, love, love and more love, Blaine felt his eyes start to sting with what was bound to become another round of tears to be shed. Kurt’s voice drew his attention from the tiny set of cupid’s bow lips glistening in the dim light of their bedroom as Hepburn breathed in and out and Blaine thought there was never such a fascinatingly beautiful sight. The closest runner up would be the look on his husband’s face the moment their daughter first met his gaze and they saw each other for the first time. He thought he understood what love and devotion meant because of Kurt. But..even if he couldn’t put this feeling to words? Nothing compared to the level of it running through his soul as it was tonight with their daughter and his husband on the very dawning of their lives as a family. “Kurt,” his voice was pitched. Not very steady. One word and the tone was enough to say ‘i need you’. His hand began to shake as he reached over to blindly sink his fingers into the long length of Kurt’s that he knew right where to find without having to look. Magnets. Always. Their hands could find each other in the pitch black. Because that’s how soulmates work, is it not? Contact made and he squeezed tight, trying to express how much he was feeling because words weren’t enough anymore.
One again, his gaze travelled up to meet Kurt’s and his giggle had Blaine bursting at the seams. His smile went wide enough to show his teeth and his owlish stare was broken as his eyes rolled towards the ceiling. Caving instantly, he carefully tugged Kurt’s hand up close enough to press a kiss to his fingers. “Fine. You can go first, but I claim dibs on the recount..” A brief pause that lasted through another kiss and his lips lingered close enough to touch Kurt’s skin with every word that followed next. “I used to think I couldn’t love you more than I already did. I was wrong.. Because I don’t know what to even call what I’m feeling right now. Does that make any sense? I just..really love you. Okay?”
❛ Does he live here or something? Seriously. You are always here. ❜
“Hello to you, too, Kurt. Don’t worry. I’m only here to get my coffee and go. I promise not to keep making your life as unbearable as my presence obviously does for much longer.”
Tears welled up in his eyes as he stood, steadfast in the middle of Sebastian and Blaine’s impeccably styled living room. This wasn’t happening. This was not happening. After sharing that kiss… He knew the situation was complicated. Had KNOWN Blaine was the one engaged to be married, TAKEN by another man ever since their senior year of high school. But even after all this time, after all this endless soul searching and desperately trying to get over him, after dating many unlike him, even Kurt couldn’t possibly deny that whatever that kiss was — whatever that kiss meant, he had felt it to his CORE. Teenage infatuation evolved and blossomed into something much more. No longer needy. No longer foolish; desperate. Longing to have someone. He had wanted Blaine with EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING, and he was certain Blaine had wanted him, too; their kiss hungry and sloppy, explosive enough to evoke fireworks.
This wasn’t HAPPENING.
He didn’t mean to get angry the way that he did. Maybe it was all that pent up frustration from all those years ago, locked up and hidden away for so long that cobwebs served as their main decoration. He refusedto shed tears over someone so oblivious to his own feelings. He refused to lose his BEST FRIEND, to have Blaine act like and brush it off as though it were nothing. Like they were NOTHING.
❛ I can’t believe you’re STILL going through with this. ❜
Blaine wasn’t oblivious enough to not see how lately, Kurt (and he) were becoming more distant from each other. With his wedding on the horizon, he and his best friend tapered off on their meet ups for coffee that were once a weekly occurrence between Blaine’s lecture he’d been holding as part of getting his doctorate at a school close by where Kurt worked. Their texts disintegrated to the point they barely spoke to one another outside of ‘hello, what’s up, and how are you doing?’s. Which is why he’d invited Kurt over. To talk this through. And then everything fell out from underneath them..when Kurt finally let go.
Sometime during the escalating conversation, they both snapped. Blaine knew the moment he did was when Kurt’s mouth crashed with his. Hands could still feel the texture of warm, pale skin cupped his face
and the ghost of a delicate press of fingertips against his temples were ingrained in his memory from this day on. The feeling of being caught, held right here by Kurt tilted his gravity, lifted him up off his heels. That dangerous second when he opened his mouth to the kiss (out of instinct and maybe..no..he couldn’t lie..something more), there was no going back. It was messy, hungry. His heart hammered in his chest so fast it echoed in his ears and he could still taste Kurt as he stood there trying to breathe and force himself not to think about instant guilt that flooded in and sank into his bones. He would do that later.. Oh, God. He would. The second he was alone.
Speechless, he felt tears well up as he watched Kurt struggle with hiding his own and he knew how deep the hurt inside someone he loved so much (because a part of him did and always would love Kurt in his own way..) ran. The sight tore his throat to ribbons, shoved a rock into his stomach and he couldn’t swallow, couldn’t blink, couldn’t look away as he felt his efforts fail and the corners his eyes became wet.
“I-I’m sorry. You’re the one person I can’t,” he stopped himself from driving the last nail in and frustratedly rubbed his cheek dry with the underside of his wrist, “..you mean SO MUCH to me. You always will but.. This is my life. It has been since forever ago. I want you in it. I need you in it. But? I just can’t walk away.. I won’t. Please understand?”
text — blaine ; 😳 text — blaine ; Not necessarily helping. text — blaine ; I definitely liked that, too. text — blaine ; Who knew you could be so creative?
( mssg » kurt | sent) I didn’t think it was possible. But? You just got even more red. Why are you so adorable? ( mssg » kurt | sent) I know it’s not. That was the whole point. I’m glad you liked it, though. Definitely would’ve been horrible to hear the opposite. ( mssg » kurt | sent) I didn’t even realize how creative I could get. Until, you know, you gave me the inspiration to try… And, trust me, you gave me plenty.
text — blaine ; Is it weird that I’m strangely excited about the prospect of us being together on Valentine’s Day? text — blaine ; It’s probably weird.
( mssg » kurt | sent ) It’s not weird at all. Honestly, I’m looking forward to it so much that I can barely sleep. Probably why I’m getting this stupid cold. I promise I’ll do my best to get rid of it before you get here. Deal? ( mssg » kurt | sent )
Valentine’s Day is our day.. Having you here just..it means a lot okay? Even if we’re not together.. I get to see you. That’s all that matters.
❛ And so the world shall be conquered. ❜ Lips curled up into a smile, his heart skipped a beat as Blaine caught hold of his wrist unannounced; his gaze immediately left to linger on their joint hands on the table before eyeing the other male quizitively. Progress. How he longed for one night of feeling normal. Without a near constant target on his back for being gay, or his always present irrational fear of being jumped or shoved whenever he so much as turned the corner. It almost seemed practically impossible. Like some strange out-of-this-world fantasy, only to exist deeply buried inside the back of his own mind.
Even now, sitting at their table, he could feel the endless barrage of anxiety rapidly bubbling up back to the surface inside of him; the warm and most welcoming touch of Blaine’s palm still wrapped firmly around his wrist the only means of subduing his nerves from detonating entirely. He was growing pretty tired of keeping up the facade. As much he willed himself to stay strong not only for himself, but for the sake of his dad; Kurt realized even Braveheartmust have had his moments.
❛ A tempting offer. ❜ Eyes finally flickered to gaze up at the teenage boy sitting across from him instead — positively losing himself in the distinct mixture of hazel and green before quickly snapping out of his inner thoughts as he allowed a soft chuckle to fall from his lips. ❛ I suppose you already know I don’t have any other plans. ❜
Letting his touch stay right where it was, Blaine tried his best to ground Kurt from the thoughts that kept Kurt’s thoughts drifting off to the place that made his gaze distant and the air between them shift into something somber and quiet. In spite of how they were talking. It was the sort of quiet you can feel seeping into your bones. The kind that people who have only been to the place where it feels so cold and lonely that it seeps into your bones and makes a mark so deep you’d swear it was permanent. Only the people who’ve been there know how hard it is to make their way back home. Blaine would know.. Sometimes, when he was alone and not filling every waking minute with the Warblers or Dalton or music? He could glance behind his shoulder and see the pathway creeping up from behind threatening that if he thought too much about the things he could’ve done and didn’t, something would drag him right back there.
But there was always the dawn of a new day. The promise that the past was in the past. The future was wide open and there waiting for him to make something of it in hopes that no matter how dark could’ve been thoughts might get? Could be thoughts would be enough to balance it out. There were other things he could focus on fight for. Those were what he clung to and maybe if he could show Kurt the way to find a few solid things to hang onto that were ahead instead of behind or in the now that was so full of turmoil and doubt? Maybe they could stay on the road to better for good together. Whatever sort of friend he could be? That was all he wanted to give.
Once he had his attention–Blaine smiled and gently rubbed the edge of his thumb back and forth against the side of Kurt’s wrist and gave him a warm smile. “Great! Then I can take up all your time guilt free. Are you up for a drive? I think I know a place,” he paused then picked up his soda. “I mean..since you have the time?”
text — blaine ; I definitely enjoyed hanging out in your family’s kitchen the other weekend. text — blaine ; I think it’s probably best you do the honors. 🙈 text — blaine ; Or we could simply excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom. text — blaine ; Though probably not so much at the same time. We really wouldn’t want things to look too suspicious.
( mssg » kurt | sent ) I like the part that happened right after the kitchen even more. 🙂 ( mssg » kurt | sent ) I’ll go first. We’re already getting suspicious stares. Might as well leave them wondering what just happened. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) See you in the auditorium. I’d say race you there but you’re trying to not be suspicious which means you’re already past being suspicious to begin with. Have you seen how red you’re getting?
❛ I love you, too. ❜ Joy swirled through Kurt’s insides at the sight of little baby Hepburn grabbing hold of her own tiny knuckles and sucking on them lightly, the corners of his mouth easily mirroring Blaine’s as his husband’s kiss lingered. He felt genuinely happy. Content. Like suddenly all was right with the world — just like in one of those old iconic Hollywood movies portrayed by the actress they so happened to name their little girl after. Nine months, though they had sometimes felt incredibly long, couldn’t have prepared him for the new, thrilling experience of being a father. Getting to share all of this with Blaine, just made everything even better;the fact Kurt deemed himself 99.9% positive he had caught a glimpse of his husband’s hues in the small infant’s brand new eyes easily allowing the butterflies in his stomach to do a significant overturn as he simply couldn’t keep himself from staring at the beautiful creature now very much an unwavering and most adorable presence in their already love-filled lives.
❛ I guess it’s kind of hard not to, ❜ he chuckled; changing diapers and the distinctive stench that came along with it definitely far from undeniable despite taking turns at performing the task at hand with nothing but undying love and adoration. ❛ I’m just glad we actively managed to pry her away from auntie Rachel. ❜
Inching down lower on the bed until he was nose to forehead with the tiny girl of his dreams, Blaine’s hand reached over to lace his fingers through Kurt’s. Holding on for dear life as he inhaled the powdery smell of new hair and skin and perfection–his eyes drifted shut as he just let his soul drink in the moment. He laughed quietly remembering the hard pout and burrowed set of brows Rachel gave them before they carried their daughter home. Rachel was adorable and Blaine was every bit the frantic, lip chewing father as he double triple checked if she was okay before doing it again via a phone call right before bed. Even Jesse made a comment he had some serious competition when it came to doting on her. Blaine’s love for Rachel ran deep before they went on this journey together. Now? The connection the three had? It’d be unbreakable for a lifetime. Mental note to call her first thing in the morning. Just to see if she was feeling okay. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rachel’s bottom lip jut out that far. Even in her worst pouting moments. That expression took the cake. How do you think she’s doing?”
Hepburn’s lashes fluttered and he made sure to drop his voice but even the smallest movement made his heart melt. He couldn’t refrain from ghosting his lips across their lengths. Her breath touched his mouth and his heart melted. Oh, he was sunk for her and the man lying beside them. “We should probably put her in her crib. I don’t know if I can do it..” Aka. Help me help us have a snuggling moment because there was no way he had the willpower to do it.
A hint of smile crept up on the corners of Kurt’s mouth as his boyfriend’s lips finally met with his own. They had found themselves in this exact position many times before. Having shared many a sleepover ever since before they even first started dating, sharing a bed had really only become natural to them; their usual cuddling and make out sessions typically lasting beyond the hour before either one of them figured now would probably be as good a time as any to finally finish watching the end of the night’s TV episode or movie. This morning, however, any previous worries or concerns about being intimate suddenly seemed silly. Like a far distant memory, slowly but surely fading away in the background. Blaine, ever the gentleman and not once allowing him to feel insecure about any part of his body. Instead, making him feel loved, safe and right at home — exactly where he needed to be.
❛ Just a couple of hours, ❜ Kurt mused, only partially teasing as he allowed a soft chuckle to escape his lips; noses nuzzling, toes touching and silently planting another kiss on the outer corner of his boyfriend’s mouth as lips brushed gently against the freshly grown stubble on Blaine’s chin. Feeling positively radiant and cherishing every second as he reveled in their being together; unsure whether he could ever feel any more in love with another human being as he did, right then and there with Blaine.
❛ I think your mom called something about coffee and croissants downstairs. ❜
Blaine didn’t want to move a single inch. Unless it was to get closer to Kurt. Then he might be able to be bargained into inching forward. Not away, though. Not now. There was too much distance between them, in his opinion. No matter how minute it was. He couldn’t look away from the eyes he was deeply lost in and drifting further and further into with every whisper and warm breath that touched his skin with them. Not when their noses touched, not when he smiled brightly after the kiss and he was once again staring back into them. Not when he slid his hand out from underneath the pillow and his fingertips began to trace slow the strip of pale skin along his boyfriend’s neck. Stuck. He was stuck being caught up in this closeness and hinging on every movement, every sound that Kurt made. Blaine didn’t mind one bit.
Laughter. Soft and sweet softened his already gentle gaze. The idea that Kurt was laying here awake for just a couple of hours brought a light hint of pink to his cheeks. “I hope I didn’t say anything weird then. Even though the idea of you laying here all that time without waking me up makes you the weird one.” Teasing him as he wiggled his toes against Kurt’s, Blaine gave up on staying put and allowed himself the only exception to his ‘not budging’ rule. The bridge of his nose fit perfect against the slope of Kurt’s shoulder and throat. One leg wrapped around a slender torso and his arms wrapped around him. Even if he had to slide one underneath him to pull it off. Last night, he became whole. Their connection only grew stronger. Something he didn’t think was possible until he woke up feeling like this. Fate won another round.
“I don’t care. She can wait. I want to be here. Let’s pretend like we didn’t hear.”
( mssg » kurt | sent ) Might’ve drifted off a little bit. I promise I’m still awake. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) I have a brand new coffee to make sure I am. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) Remind me what we were talking about again?
pianokeysandbowties 