“Can be.” Truthfully the things he saw didn’t bother him like they used to. Surely not as much as they should. Being desensitized wasn’t the nicest way to put it, but he’s heard that it happened to everyone; eventually any sort of blood and gore was simply normal. Sooner for some than others. In Barry’s case it wasn’t so much that it made him sick even before his life changed as drastically as it has, rather, he spent less time wondering about the bodies found. The sights and smells he had been used to already, none were haunting him in his sleep but for some there was the question was who they were, what they were like. If even the criminals deserved their fate.
Blaine was the first in a while to say he was proud of Barry. He thinks the last was when he was new to his powers, Joe was patting him on the back for the good he had initially focussed on as a speedster. So much had changed since then. Even if he didn’t abandon the goal of helping the city when other metas attack, there wasn’t much to be proud of him for these days. All the same he couldn’t explain such things to Blaine, ask him if he was sure about his statement. Instead Barry smiles a bit lopsided at his drink and replies with a simple, “Thanks.”
Blaine’s smile was easier to think about. It was a sight that he honestly has missed. “I haven’t, actually. I think about it sometimes, but it always turns into pretending to be someone else again for a little while?” A second of a pause passes and Barry chuckles at himself. “But that’s a little bit too deep for the first time I get with an old friend again, okay um.. You can ignore that part. Maybe someday.”
Words that were on the tip of his tongue fell silent. He wanted to ask how he could deal with seeing those things. What sort of coping mechanisms did he have that got him through each day and into bed every night? Did he have someone he could lean on? Someone he could trust to listen to the bad and try to shower him with good things to think about so he could drift away peacefully instead of the nightmares Blaine pictured himself having after seeing the wild images he could drum up in his head that Barry saw on a day to day basis. Though, he was fairly sure that the questions would be far too none of his business for a friendship that was just now on the verge of rekindling after so many years apart.
“You’re welcome..” Because he was proud of Barry. From what he could see in the short time they spent at the bar talking? The former Warbler had grown immensely over the years. It was almost hard to picture him the tall, lanky boy with the cat-that-ate-the-canary smile and devilishly handsome face (though that hadn’t changed, Sebastian Barry would always be handsome) who made him such a stuttering mess because of his outspoken flirtations and eyes that pierced him so deeply he was often left hiding the fact that he was breathless and full of wonder. Yet, here he was and Blaine couldn’t stop his ever growing curiosity of how he ended up becoming..this person.
“I don’t mind deep. I guess I wasn’t thinking about what you would have to do if you went there again. There’s really nothing to go back for me either. A handful of friends. Most of them moved on by now. Sam and I visit a couple times a year. My parents from time to time. Why leave here? You know?” Finishing off his drink, Blaine checked out Barry’s and decided to order them another round. “It’s crazy. Seeing you again. Seeing what you’ve become. It’s not what I expected..but better. Not that what I expected was bad.. Just. Are you happy?”
pianokeysandbowties 