Blaine couldn’t keep his mind focused on a single line of thought if it was going to save his life. Coming to the Lima Bean alone was a brilliant idea to tune out glee club and the mess at Dalton so he could get some homework done. Two coffees in and he still wasn’t feeling it. His pen hit the page of his open textbook and rolled into the center crease. A frustrated grunt and he closed the cover shutting the pen inside. His hand–now pen free–was absentmindedly drawn to the pocket of his sweater without something to occupy it.
Inside was the fraying edges of the reason why he couldn’t get more than a paragraph of anything read before his mind wandered home to Dalton. A business card that’d been slipped inside his pocket without him noticing. Sebastian must have done it during his unceremonious and rather surprising tug into a one arm hug after walking him to his car. Blaine didn’t notice it was there until he was getting ready for bed the same night two nights ago. His reminder (like he needed on) of him. Hunter Clarington and his ultimatums, his place at the head of the Warbler council and what in the hell was he turning them into that they’d agree to any of this? “Fine. Whatever,” he mumbled to himself and typed in the wrong number firing off a text message that was three days coming and he finally couldn’t hold in anymore.
( mssg » wrong # | sent ) As you can see? I’m breaking the promise I made to myself of not contacting you. You’re wrong about a lot of things. But one thing you’re right about is what Dalton means to me and always will. We need to talk. ( mssg » wrong # | sent ) Theatricality aside, please? You and me. Keep Sebastian out of this.
The thing about mornings are they’re always a new beginning. When you wake up–there’s a few seconds where all you feel is the warmth of the blankets and the comfort that you’ve sunk into during sleep. No matter what happens before drifting off (in Blaine’s case for less than three hours) there’s a blissful sense of–peace. Until your life tunes back in with the sunlight leaking through the curtains stirring you away from the solitude from your thoughts. Blaine’s first instinct was to reach behind him and feel for the hip that was supposed to be against his. There was nothing but a cold outside of a space on the bed long abandoned.
His world sped up. Reality came crashing down with flashbacks from last night causing his throat to feel like it was torn to shreds and had a rock jammed inside to suffocate him. His heart shattered and there came the vile taste of guilt in the back of his mouth. One he should be used to by now but was even more potent than every morning since it happened. ‘I was with someone..’ The apartment was empty. He could feel that from here. Hollowness that crept inside his bones. What more could he expect? Swallowing painfully–he pushed himself up on one elbow, purposefully avoiding looking behind him and grabbed his phone instead. 9:39 am was when the first string of apologies began to pour out before his feet even touched the floor.
( mssg » kurt | sent ) I know I don’t deserve it. I know you hate me. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) I’m sorry. Please come back. I don’t want to leave like this. Please?
bold what applies to your muse
tagged by: no one. i just wanted to! seasons 2-3, main verse,italic for verse specific
broken a bone | gotten stitches | had a near death experience | killed someone | tried and failed to kill someone | invented something | been hung over | kissed someone | slow-danced | been in a long-term relationship (one year, or longer) | had sex | had sex and regretted It | had a one-night stand | had a threesome | experimented with their sexuality | had a kid | gotten married |self-harmed | traveled to another country | been in a play | received an inheritance | been in a car wreck | lost a loved one | been dumped | dumped someone | smoked | gotten high | been slipped something in their food/drink | won a contest | won an election | joined a sports team | gone skydiving | gone hunting | been in a band | had a job | been fired | been in a wedding party |owned a pet | seen a ghost | skipped class/work | learned an instrument | gotten a noticeable scar | sued someone | been robbed | been mugged | been kidnapped | been sexually assaulted | been brainwashed/hypnotized | gone more than one day without eating | had a recurring nightmare | been bullied | bullied someone | seen someone die | attempted suicide | been tied/chained up | shot someone | stabbed someone | saved someone’s life | cheated on someone | been cheated on | had a stalker | been betrayed | was a traitor | been in a fight | been arrested | been to a funeral | had surgery | broken someone’s trust | gotten a piercing | gotten a tattoo | used a fake name | been tortured | tortured others | been abused (mostly parental emotional neglect) | been blackmailed | had an attempt on their life (severely beaten) /nearly been killed by someone | gotten away with a crime | gone on a road trip | been in love
“Well I can be right sometimes,” he lightly joked. Not for the first time Barry wished he could at least get slightly buzzed to settle his nerves a little. But that wasn’t possible, so he had to deal with them. Personally he thought things were going well considering how they met, and it had only been at least thirty minutes give or take. He’s not exactly keeping count. And honestly the speedster didn’t care. There’s a smile on his lips– they were having a good time, which he was thankful for. Barry had been so worried about making a really bad expression when they finally met, Blaine seemed like a good person. And very cute. He’s wearing a little bow tie, those hazel eyes, his lips, and that cute nose. His cheeks turn a little pink, listen no one can blame the speedster for checking him out. He was just too cute. That smile. “It is fun, it can be a little uncomfortable too– but if we don’t step out of our comfort zone sometimes we miss opportunities.” The younger hummed softly with a smile on his lips, and a chuckle. “Well one thing is for sure, when you step out of your comfort zone, you go the whole nine yards,” the taller lightly teased. Oh man, that was too cute, it’s like meeting a corgi. “I haven’t tried it to be honest, I’ve thought about it, but I guess I like meeting people face to face instead,” he stood up, reaching out to take his hand, he wasn’t too much of a dancer. Yeah maybe when he was younger, but honestly he sometimes felt like he just had two left feet. It depended on the dance. “Did you just compare yourself to a character from Wizard of Oz?” he chuckled, “Has anyone told you that you’re ridiculously cute?” And with that said Barry takes the lead, and tugs him out to the dance floor.
Barry was right. This was about ‘the whole nine yards’ out of his comfort zone that if anyone was keeping track? He probably would gone so many extra out of the way that he’d passed the touchdown zone and kept running into the parking lot by the end of the tally–but he was having fun. A lot of fun. More than he’s had in a very long time. Their hands met and Blaine curled his fingers around Barry’s palm and gave it a squeeze. “Well–maybe–I did?” Hey, if Barry was looking for a guy that didn’t resort to blurting out random bits of crazy or references that might only be funny to himself at the time? Especially when he was nervous or trying to use any means to distract from him potentially about to move like a rusted bucket on the dancefloor (insert any other random potentially embarrassing moment here as well)? Blaine figured he might want to cut his losses and run while he was ahead. Which he hoped he wouldn’t. And look what he got! Exactly what he asked for! Barry’s laugh was exactly the pay out he was hoping for. Blaine rolled his eyes at the compliment. More out of modest ‘yeah right’ than any sort of rude gesture. “I might’ve heard it once or twice,” the shorter of the pair followed along happily with the tug, playfully bantering back. “You might want to save it and until after a song or two. You might find it hard to think I’m cute if I beat your feet up with mine. I make no promises.”
Seeing Blaine like that destroyed Sebastian. As much as he would try and keep face. As much as he’d have liked to have moved on already, every goddamn time he saw Blaine, or even got a text from him, it knocked the floor right off from under his feet. He had never seen Blaine this miserable. Not even after the whole slushie struggle, when Blaine was still mad at him, he hadn’t been this broken. And Sebastian was as lost as he was pained by it. He wanted to be the friend Blaine wanted and needed him to be right now, but it did make him struggle in a way he wasn’t prepared to. He wasn’t ready to feel this much at once, but he also couldn’t bring himself to tell Blaine ‘no’. He never had.
That was certainly why he didn’t think twice before kicking his one night stand out, and rushing back to comfort Blaine, appealing to all deities he’d never believed in, that he’d still be there when he got back downstairs. It didn’t matter how many bruises and scars he had after so many years of holding Blaine first, when the other boy had never shown interest in doing the same. One look at Blaine’s face, and any resolutions he might have taken, slipped away. Blaine came first. It had been that way from day one. It really shouldn’t surprise him any more. He sighed in relief when he came back from the kitchen and the boy was still there. He made his way to the couch, offering him the glass, and shifted on the ball of his feet, a little unsure for a moment. He didn’t know how close Blaine wanted to be to anyone right now, specially not him. Still, as he offered to get him something else, the beg came, and he nodded instead.
Sebastian moved to sit by his side again, and awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a few taps to it. ‘Sure…’ He promised, studying Blaine’s red face with analytical eyes, wanting to make sure he’d be okay, or as okay as possible. It seemed like it’d take a while, from the amount of pain Sebastian could see in his eyes, and it made his tongue taste like copper in his mouth. ‘Just breathe, killer….’ he encouraged softly, wanting the other to say whatever he needed to, to spill it out and start getting his pieces back together. He felt a new pang in his stomach as he did, and it made him more bitter than he could tell, to say the words, but he did. ‘Maybe you should wait some and then call him…’ They were inseparable, right? Sebastian would know. ‘If this is what you really want…’ he stopped. As much as he cared for Blaine the words sounded fake even to his own ears, and besides, he heard a movement just then, that caught his eye, and he froze for a second. He lost the first part of Blaine’s apology, as he stared, or rather glared at his noisy fuck buddy that was just crossing the front of the living room, after making it downstairs, so he could leave. But he did hear the second part.
Sebastian blinked at him, refocusing, and breathed out, repeating to himself as usual that Blaine just said things like that because they were friends. He nodded. ‘You can always come to me.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m probably not the best adviser. But you can spill your guts, and I’ll usually have something strong to make things better.’ He tapped his shoulder again. ‘Wanna watch something? I can expand the couch. We could order something in.’ He offered. Sure it was a coward way out, to offer comfort food and movies, instead of listening more, or trying to talk, but he had never been good at the latter, specially not when he was in love with the boy who had just been heartbroken for someone else.
Feeling the couch budge with Sebastian’s weight as he sat beside him and the pat filled Blaine with such a simple relief that uniquely Sebastian’s to give. He appreciated it. Awkward as the contact felt for reasons he didn’t have the energy to question right now but might come back to later when he did with a question of why. One he already knew the answer to deep down but had to graze past repeatedly. The rabbit hole had been burrowing deeper and deeper for over a year now–another all his fault that he felt so out of control to face and deal with that he just didn’t. So much for courage when you take the coward’s way out of helping someone who loves you just not because you need that love selfish and sadistic as it is. And if you take that love away? It might take them with it because why would they stick around after?
Yes. There were layers of understanding Blaine had for Sebastian and what he should or shouldn’t do or want or say. All of which went out the window every time he laid eyes on him. Or heard his voice. It was unfair. It was cruel. Everything he never wanted to be and didn’t consider himself actually being. Except for .. him. Even then? A few pats and his body that’d been wound tight as a spring ready to bounce around the room and do some serious damage at the sheer velocity it ricocheted with began to relax and become less tense. Blaine took the bread crumbs of half-meant advice that Sebastian wasn’t the only one who noticed the insincerity of.
He opened his mouth to chip in that maybe he should. So far all his efforts were met with an understandable brick wall. No matter how heavy those bricks were every time his words were slammed against it. Crushing as it might be. He didn’t have the right to expect anything more or less from Kurt. Not after what he did. A noise coming from the hall halted what he was about to say. Blaine caught the sight of the guy a second after Sebastian. His mouth hung open as a heat blazed over his cheeks and burned all the way across his nose. “Sorry–I could’ve left.” Ignoring the way his throat closed up–Blaine noticed Sebastian segway past what both of them just saw with a seamless dismissal and stuttered to catch up to the speed. A clearing of his throat and he followed along.
Another leap, another turn past acknowledging something else. “You’re cutting yourself short. There’s a reason why I’m here.” Soon, he told himself, soon. Not now. I can’t lose you—. “Actually? Y-Yeah..,” he smiled..fake as it was..the effort had to count for something and hands brushing together as he stood up so they could set up the couch, “That sounds great.” At least the dawning realization he’d interrupted something much more inconveniencing than sleeping was enough to make him drop the other topic Sebastian was righteously at a loss on what to say about?
( mssg » blaine ) everybody likes compliments, cright? ( mssg » blaine ) uhm, jackson’s place, yuo know that tall dude from the bjasketball team. like 2 streets frowm puck’s. can’t miss it, loads of cars outsidde. oh that’s super smart thinking right there. brilliant idea! you’re a great bet friend. ( mssg » blaine ) bso drunk. gonna be in gso muhch trlouble if they see me like this
( mssg » sam | sent ) You’re right. Everyone does. ( mssg » sam | sent ) Two streets down from Puck’s place. Got it. I’m grabbing my keys and I’ll be on my way. ( mssg » sam | sent ) Don’t worry. I got your back.
Blaine tucked his phone into his back pocket with a half grin and huff of laughter. Sam. Sam. Sam. What was he going to do with him? The boy was beyond drunk and, even though Blaine appreciated the compliment (which, by the way, he already made a mental note to ask Tina when he saw her Monday in class where the description came from if only to give her a hard time) he knew his friend was more than five sheets in the wind to give it. Didn’t mean that it didn’t make him grin ear to ear happily at the words. Who doesn’t like to know someone appreciates their..um..assets? Especially someone like.. Oop! Yep! Time to go! Definitely not time for his head to wander down that path loaded with trap doors into ComplicatedTown. He had enough in his life that was complicated already.
He got there as fast as he could and parked among the dwindling number of cars. His nose crinkled at the sight of some guy he didn’t know deciding that a hedge near the door was a good place to pray to his absent ‘porcelain god’. “Well. Someone’s going to hate life in the morning.” He’d grab the guy a glass of water on his way out since he wasn’t planning on staying here long. Stepping inside the house–he overlooked several make out sessions and a few people dancing and sharing shots as he walked past. “Hey, Sam?” No sign of him. Down the hall he went towards the kitchen, calling out trying to find the blonde in question. “Sammy? Anderson Taxi! At your service!”
A sense of relief washes over him as Blaine replies, shoulders dropping with relieved tension as he says he wants to stay. Barry hadn’t honestly been sure if even Blaine Anderson could be so forgiving as to hear him out. Besides the lies that were told throughout their friendship it was a ridiculous story- one he doubts many people would believe someone would actually do.
He takes a deep breath in before answering, cautious still even if his nerves weren’t quite as bad. “It was me- it was definitely me I mean. Sebastian’s life story was a polar opposite to mine, basically. Outside of things I said I did while in Ohio, all of the stories were made up. I have barely left Central City, never mind vacationed in Paris, my dad was a doctor before he was arrested- wrongfully arrested, but he was definitely not in a position of power like I said he was.. The conversations though? Just us talking about us and present day and not our childhoods for example- that was all me. Completely.”
Hazel eyes scanned Barry’s face with measuring glance trying to piece together when the fragments of what was true and false should have been easy to notice. How did he always consider himself someone who could read the people closest to him so easy when he wanted to? Yet he managed to miss so many stories that it was vaguely embarrassing that he bought into them all. Sebastian became a friend when he truly needed one. A person that reminded him so much of Dalton when he missed it daily. But was removed enough from it to be something new, too? A mixture of both that soothed Blaine’s nerves just to be around on more than one occasion. “How long do I have with you to get the answers I need? There are so many questions, Seb–Um. This is a lot to take in..”
That’s why he couldn’t get up and walk away where others who might’ve just been told their friend was barely someone who they knew. Out of their friend’s on volition. Truth of the matter? Sebastian/Barry/Whoever knew him more than he ever planned on letting him know. And, because of that, was someone that no amount of time could erase how tenderly Blaine thought about him. Even the harsh mistakes that should’ve split them apart from one another in the past were overlooked in time. If they could be better than those? They could be better than THIS. “Wait. Your father was wrongfully arrested?” Catching that–Blaine figured he reacted like anyone would. Confused and bewildered. How much one one person can you not know, while knowing so much about them at the same time? “Is that part of why you did what you did? What happened? Where is he now?”
Emmett smiled as he sat back and nodded. “Honey, it’s alright I’ve been doing this a while people deal with nerves differently. I’ve had people who had asked to punch me so it would calm them believe I much prefer your jitters.” He laughed.
“But looks like those are good to go.“Emmett stood up fixing the shorter man’s shirt. "I’m Emmett, pleasure to meet you, sweetheart.”
“They asked you to let them punch you,” Blaine asked with a hint of horror that anyone could be callous enough to think they had the right to ask that of another person in his voice. Yeah, he was nervous. But to outright want to sock someone? That was going to an extreme level of maybe theater shouldn’t be your career option if someone had to go that far. “What did you say to them? God. I can’t imagine.” Laughing at the incredulous way people could be–he let Emmett fix his shirt.
“Please let me buy you a drink or a cup of coffee for all your hard work? I know it isn’t as out there as a fist to the cheek,” he grinned furthering the offer with a bow of his head towards the exit of his dressing room. “The bar here is actually pretty great,” shoulders lifted in a laid-back shrug. In spite of his nerves–now that he was one step closer to opening night and had his clothing in order? A bit of breathing room was easier to find. Plus, Emmett was too sweet to remain a ball of nerves around. Must be a hidden talent of his. “Unless you have somewhere to be? I’m sure there are plenty of things you might have to do around here before the big night.”
sebastian slept soundly through the night. better than he honestly had in months if he was being honest. blaine’s voice soothed him towards his dreams and even against his will, his battered body couldn’t help but relax completely under the spell of it.
the doctors had said he’d been lucky. as though there was anything lucky about a near punctured lung, three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and scrapped skin all over. he supposed in some sadist way, he was. it could have been worse. he had to at least appreciate the irony of his drunk driving not being the problem. he’d caught a cab, exactly so he’d be safe, as lydia kept telling him to be, and then his damn driver had decided to lose control and drive them straight to a street light post.
the driver, having been wearing his seat belt, was mostly fine. but sebastian had few face first into and straight through the wind shield. he remembered that. what he DIDN’T remember was the rest of it. not all at once, at least. there were bits and pieces. juggled memories. flashes of blaine’s honeyed eyes on him, and gloved hands grabbing his skin on places that HURT.
all that were confused thoughts in his head, as he laid, semi-awake, slowly gaining consciousness. it took him quite a few minutes to be able to even blink his eyes open. when he did, he glanced down at the pressure that was making his hand numb, only to find blaine’s face on it. sebastian moved it slowly, wincing at the pain, and the burns on his face when he flinched, sighing as his movement seemed to waken the other. he licked his lips as his eyes met blaine’s, and among everything he wanted to say, six words blurted out, instead.
❝does he know you’re here?’
Somehow during the night Blaine managed to shift himself around on the chair enough that with his shoes kicked off and his legs curled up underneath himself–he was able to rest his head down against the top of his hand and doze lightly. If Sebastian so much as moved–he’d snap awake. Or so he thought. In reality–once he finally closed his eyes? Sleep hit him like a ton of bricks and he didn’t notice anything about the uncomfortable chair or the sterile smell of the hospital he hated. Or the nurse checking in once then leaving them both be.
A few hours went by–maybe less? The flinch was enough to finally draw his eyes open. His head stayed put for a second–tilting just enough that he could look up at Sebastian and meet his eyes. God, his back was going to hate him when he righted himself. But Sebastian was far worse for wear than a grumpy spine and not much sleep.
Was it possible to feel worry and relief together? Because seeing Sebastian looking down at him–awake, save and alive filled him with a sense of one. While seeing how hurt he was and the memories that flooded in after it–panic, sheer panic when he realized who he was helping, Blaine was terrified–brought on the other. –He’s okay. That’s the point. He’s okay..–
Blaine knew exactly who that question was about and why Sebastian asked it. He just didn’t expect it to be the first thing to be said. Lifting his head and letting one leg shift to rest the back of his knee over the side of the opposite foot so it could hang over the chair–Blaine squirmed upright and settled into the corner of the chair. “Y-Yeah. He knows. He wanted to come down here but I told him not to.” Why and the rest could stay unspoken.
( mssg » blaine | sent ) I think so, too. ( mssg » blaine | sent ) I guess desperate times do call for desperate measures. Plus there’s definitely always going to be room for dessert. And pretty much anything Italian. ( mssg » blaine | sent ) Things… definitely aren’t improving. Mr. Schue’s been trying to distract us with our glee club assignment but– ( mssg » blaine | sent ) I guess you could say I have yet to experience a day when I’m not consistently shoved against my own locker.
( mssg » kurt | sent ) I’m so sorry that keeps happening to you. You are such a good person. You don’t deserve any of that. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) Have you thought over what you and I talked about? Do you think confronting him head on would work? I’m not pressuring you into that. Please, don’t think I am. God knows I have no room to talk. But you can’t keep going through each day being hurt the way you are now.
( mssg » kurt | sent ) We’ll figure something out, okay? Just know that I’m here for you and I’ll do whatever I can to help you through this. I promise.
pianokeysandbowties 