“I can’t breathe…,” he quietly whispered, voice trembling and unsure. Round hazel eyes stared up at Susie from where he sat on the riverbank. Wringing his hands together as he bit his lip and tears began to burn his eyes, the confused boy turned to look across the water. Why did it look so eerie? Like something impossibly between a painting and reality. Everything felt off. Nothing about this place was familiar and he couldn’t remember how he got here. Susie was the first person he’d come in contact with after walking for what felt like miles. A trembling set of fingers reached up to rub at his eye before any tears could fall. Where was he…? Home was an empty house more than three quarters of the time. No one would be waiting for him. But, after always finding reasons not to be there, that was the only place he wanted to be. This must be a dream.
Sam nodded eagerly, his excitement with his idea reaching new heights as he watched the way Blaine’s cheeks blushed, “Yeah, I do. I though we could like…you know…do all the school dance…stuff. Like I could pick you up and your Mom could take embarrassing pictures of us and we could like…be late to the dance because we got caught up making out in my car.” He chuckled, his own blush gracing his cheeks before he continued rambling, “And then we could..uhm…go to the dance and…hold hands and dance…and then after we could…you know…the thing that couples do…after a dance…” He wiggled his brows and laughed, though he hoped Blaine didn’t think he’d been joking about that part. Because he totally hadn’t been joking at all, it was just…awkward to say out loud, at school, where anyone could hear it. “So? Will you be my date to the dance, B?” He asked once more, with more clarity so that Blaine wouldn’t have to ask him again, and hopefully instead, give an answer of affirmation. “I promise it’ll be fun.” He added and beamed, biting his lip nervously as he waiting for Blaine to deliberate and decide, funny how the time between a question and answer seemed to last forever – at least in this particular instance.
Sam’s pitch was perfect the first time when Blaine could barely believe what he heard. The second time, though? The Warbler felt like he might soar into the clouds from the amount of happiness that rushed in after the thought that Sam might only be doing this as friends because he felt pity on him for not finding a date yet. Not that he hadn’t been asked. He had. Not by as many people as some might think. Dalton wasn’t a school full of gay kids, contradictory to what other schools might think. But the few who did invite him? Blaine couldn’t picture going with them. Or, perhaps, going at all. The ghosts of the past were far too close to step outside of merely going there to perform and then politely excusing himself and going back to the dorms. If he was going to walk down that road again? He wanted someone worth doing it for. Who understood that he might hold their hand a little too tight. Who would see him getting uncomfortable, if he did, and would pull him away when his politeness slipped into a facade to hide his nerves and it stopped being fun. Oh, he had plenty of thoughts about what that night could be and wasn’t stupid enough to dismiss that–although Central was half a year away now–it might be too much once he stepped foot into the room.
Going with a date would be a huge leap. One he didn’t want to take with just anyone.. He wanted it to be Sam. And here Sam was, hinging on his reply and Blaine was suddenly laughing at himself for asking him to repeat it and the awkwardness he just went through. This was Sam. And he’d follow Sam anywhere. No matter where the other went. “I’d love to, Sam. I want to do all of that with you. The pictures, the dinner,” without pause his hands reached across the table and clasped over top of both of Sam’s. Blaine leaned his weight against his elbows and looked him in the eye. “I’ll be your date.. Boutonniere and everything. Thank you for asking me.”
Sebastian didn’t want to be a thief here. He didn’t want to storm in uninvited and drop a bomb on Blaine. Barge in and say something that would affect them both for life even if neither one of them would admit it after this conversation. He knew how caring and compassionate Blaine was. He knew how hard this confession would hit him. The last thing he wished was for Blaine to feel bad for him. What would that make him? What was it making him now that he’d said the word love? That was the last of his intentions. All he had ever wanted to be was supportive of Blaine. Having Blaine carry memories of this every time he thinks about his wedding day would be so incredibly greedy. But damage had been done already. Today was Blaine and Kurt’s day. It was THEM who had always stuck by each others side. Them who stayed strong as a couple even when Sebastian came in between it back in the day, young and dumb trying to weasel his way in places he shouldn’t be. He may have been in the wrong before but sitting here with the love of his life right before he gets married to another man wasn’t what he wanted to be doing. But if he didn’t do this… what would he be? If he didn’t tell Blaine the truth, how would he be able to try and get over him? This HAD to happen eventually or Blaine’s face would forever be a reminder of his secret. Though now, as pain is aching deep into his mind, he feels Blaine’s face might instead be one he wouldn’t be seeing much more. Why would he ever want to see Sebastian again after this? Knowing that he’s just someone who is in love with him? This wasn’t fun and games anymore. Now? It was just rose thorns pricking fingers and blood being drawn. Fuck, he thought.
When Blaine stood up,chillsran up and down his back and arms. No. Fuck, he was coming closer. Sebastian was deep down begging for the closeness with all his might but he couldn’t accept it. No, no, no. Feeling his touch any more would only hurt the both of them. What if they were no longer going to be magnets for each other but a car crash instead? The way Blaine’s touch traveled so softly across Sebastian’s hairline and temple caused his tears to increase. He couldn’t HANDLE the touch, he couldn’t take it. It’s like his soul was nothing but butterfly wings. Trying to touch it would only be a mistake. Watery greens refused to look back at the golden ones right in front of him. A hand reached up to cover his face, he couldn’t show weakness. Not even after all these years. Not even after he had learned to show his feelings in front of Blaine. Right now was a reversal. He felt himself closing off again. The worst part about all of this was that it was not only hurting him – it was also hurting Blaine. That? That had always been his biggest FEAR. Never his intentions. Why was he letting himself be so greedy by confessing? Fuck this. ❝I never expect you to hurt him. Never. That…that’s not why I came here. Not to ruin anything.❞ he replies softly as his hand continues to hide his face. Sebastian buries his face down into his palm as he lowers his head down and tries to stop crying ❝Please NEVER tell me you’re sorry, Blaine. Never apologize for this. You and Kurt deserve to be so happy..❞ Words muffle against his hiding place and he just wants to take back confessing what he did. When Blaine corrected do to DID? That was what stung the worst. ❝You didn’t hurt me —— I hurt myself from letting myself be an idiot.❞
Just like that, he was blocked out of Sebastian’s view by Sebastian himself. Unable to look at him, his best friend hid away and sobbed into his hands while his fingers were still right there next to Sebastian’s left eye..well..now his pointer finger. He felt sick. An increasing twist of his stomach that sank into nausea. What was he thinking about inviting Sebastian here? What stupid impulse was it to approach him to beg for his help with the engagement? Let alone ask him to be there for the day the wedding happened? Blaine knew he was oblivious about many things. Some he pretended to be so clueless that, occasionally, he even believed what he was hiding from under the mask of unaware he often wore when he couldn’t face what was standing right in front of him. When the COURAGE that he preached to anyone struggling was so far out of reach that he couldn’t see a speck of it. Let alone not be an absolute hypocrite and not practice his own gospel. He knew Sebastian loved him. He knew he loved Sebastian. The parts of them that connected ran deep. Through skin and bone and blood and breath into a place where only Sebastian and he could ever tread together because they were the only ones who trusted each other enough to open the doors to the basements where they hid their darkest thoughts. And invite the other one in.
They were bound together deeper than Kurt or Trent or Tina or Hunter could ever know. Because none of them, and it drove a knife into Blaine’s chest to think it considering his groom-to-be’s wedding band was on the dressing table they were beside, would ever understand. Everyone they knew was beginning to filter into the building waiting for the moment where he’d slip it on a pale finger that wasn’t the one he now covered with the pad of his thumb trying to nudge Sebastian’s hand down.
“Please look at me, please, please don’t hide..,” he plead through the cracks in his voice in a pitch that was broken and lost. “I’m so sorry and I’m allowed to be. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry I love him and the one thing I should be the most sorry about is the fact that I love you so much, Sebastian. I always did. I always will…” Tears that he managed to hold back because he didn’t feel like he deserved them started to fall. He knew once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And here was the breaking point. Crumbled and gone and turning back wasn’t possible. “But I’m not sorry about caring for you. I’m not sorry that I let you see me the way you saw me. I’m not sorry that I have someone who guides me through the hallways in my head that I’m terrified to go down..and I’m not sorry that I need you even after today.” Blaine’s grip grew firm. All five fingers wrapped around Sebastian’s hand and he pulled it down using all of his strength to do it if he had to. Tears streaking his face, he lifted up without a hesitation and.. Lips pressed to Sebastian’s cheek and as his entire frame shook with a gasp, he kissed a path up the lines of the taller man’s tears until he was on his toes and his mouth ghosted the corner of Sebastian’s eye dotting his temple with the words that he couldn’t stop spewing in a blabbering whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you and I knew I was going to. I knew this was going to hurt so much..and you can hate me. You should hate me. I don’t deserve you. Remember? I told you that and you didn’t believe me. You thought I was being humble but I was only being honest. I don’t deserve you but I desperately need you and what does that say about me? Please don’t go.. Because I’m terrified I’ll never see you again..”
Barry was a mess, not a horrible one, he wasn’t unhappy, depressed, no feeling that familiar twinge of guilt and remorse. He was a happy sort of mess. Carefree, and joyful. He’s laughing without a care, and when was the last time he managed to do that? Perhaps before Zoom. Since then it had been difficult, and he knew it caused his lover to worry. Yet here they were, together, with Barry being ridiculous and somehow managing to not fall over his own long limbs. Blaine was being the responsible one, mostly. “W-well, I’m being really nice, I could have said like a thousand kisses! And then you’ll never be able to stop kissing me,but yeah I guess you can pace yourself, I like your kisses.” he uttered with a slight huff. See? Super nice of him! Where he a little more coherent, he’d probably drag his boyfriend away from here, and kiss him. Not stop kissing him till they were back home, and even then more kisses would follow. Accompanied with more– fun actives. But he’s not that coherent right, running and being drunk would not go well for the speedster he knew that much. Despite the innocent kisses, his cheeks flushed more, no longer red from just the alcohol as he blushed. “Um…” he cleared his throat, they just felt intimate. “I think, I think they count– but I should return the favor.” And so he did, but he’s a little tricky too. Bringing Blaine’s hand to his lips, kissing the finger tips, till his smirked. Playfully licking at them, slipping his pointer finger into his mouth. While he might drunk, he was still Barry, and Barry could be a little mean.
Seeing Barry so content with the world around him made Blaine utterly thrilled. There was no weight of the universe behind his eyes that he often glimpsed when Barry let his guard down and didn’t realize he was letting it slip. There was no distance between them that Blaine couldn’t help feeling when he saw walls built up from secrets and stories about his horrible days seeing the worst of people that he couldn’t come home and talk to him about. Unless it was in vague enough terms that he wasn’t breaking the law by doing so. The support systems that Blaine wanted, desperately, to give him were only pieces that he begged, when he was alone, were enough weren’t really needed here tonight. They were safe, together and happy. As drunk as his boyfriend was, he didn’t mind. Not when he could manage them both by keeping himself on the sober side of buzzed so he could lasso him in if he had to. Or laugh along with him as their bodies moved together on the dance floor. Even when Barry teased him as playfully as he did, all Blaine gave was a lighthearted roll of his eyes before smirking and pulling both of their hands out of range of Barry’s mouth. Speaking of lassoing in. “Okay, okay. Slow down, Mister. I don’t this sober you would be jumping the ‘I’m going to suck on your fingers in public” line. Maybe. Probably.” Okay so Barry might but if they were going to go anywhere close to suggestive besides dancing and the kiss that Blaine was on his toes to give just now? Then he wanted Barry more sober than he currently was. Not that it didn’t feel good. Barry knew Blaine’s weakness when it came to that. The devilish man was playing a wicked hand. Blaine just had to trump him a bit higher. His finger that’d been in Barry’s mouth was still tingling when he ran the edge of it along a pale temple tracing the freckles he could find there. “Having fun?”
The drive had been relatively easy, with the address tapped into the GPS – Dave had made it in pretty good time. He’d hope that he wouldn’t be too late getting there, mostly because he didn’t want to make Blaine wait too long. Getting into the house was another matter entirely. The place looked massive from the outside, it made him wonder just how big it’d be on the inside, or if it’d look smaller – a TARDIS like situation.
It hadn’t taken all that long to figure out where Blaine was, mostly because he could hear music – from a piano, filtering through the main foyer. He’d followed the music into the next room and his shoulder settled against the door fame, watching Blaine with adoring eyes, more than happy to stand there and listen to him play. His attention was caught when Blaine spoke and he stepped into the room a little more. Hands pushed into his pockets and he hummed quietly. “Just a few minutes, not too long.” A little smile tugged the corner of his lips upward and he hummed, leaning against the piano. “That was good. What I heard, anyway.”
Bewilderment caused Blaine’s features soften, his smile light as he watched Dave approach the piano. Maybe Dave was indulging him by listen to the music, knowing how important it was for him to start playing again, but he seemed to enjoy what he heard and the smile that lit up Dave’s entire face warmed Blaine from the inside out. “You know.. We should go back to Scandals again soon. Karaoke night. Sing a little. I’d like that. Since I haven’t drug you there for it yet and I heard there is one…” A few weeks ago, that thought wouldn’t have crossed his mind. He just didn’t feel up for it. Strange how things seemed to be changing so quickly. For the better.
“I promise we can practice before we go. I need to warm up again anyway,” the piano bench slid out from underneath him as he stood and pushed it backwards with the back of his calf, “Not tonight though.” Both hands rested on Dave’s shoulders so he could lift himself up and press a warm kiss to the side of of his cheek. “Soon, okay?” His fingers laced together behind the nape of Dave’s neck, thumbs tracing circles as his palms soaked in the warmth of the contact. “Let’s go to the kitchen so I can start dinner? Unless you want to go out?”
So, there are a lot of people that come to mind, but for some reason when I read this one person stuck out so…
@pianokeysandbowties; J is truly one of a kind, she is so warm and easy to talk to and she genuinely cares about people which is such a rare trait. She’s literally the type to go out of her way to call you when you’re having a bad day (which she’s done for more on more than one occasion) and she’s just a really positive, pleasant presence to have around as a friend. She’s honestly a really sweet person and I’m blessed to have her in my life.
// Oh my god! Sweetie! I love you so much. Thank you for saying such sweet things! I adore you and I’m so glad I’ve had the chance to be there for you and vice versa. You’re just as amazing 10000% and then some! I’m keeping you. That’s that. Done dealio. So many hugs!
With a soft chuckle, Michael nods and agrees. “Only reason I haven’t tried to make that work is I can’t get as sweet of a deal anywhere like where I’m at.” That deal being no one legally on record renting his apartment. He had no social security on him, hadn’t yet memorized it when he left home. Even if he could get his hands on a fake ID there was much, much more paperwork that went into even just renting a home. One of his wealthier clients some time ago had known a few. Michael didn’t ask what her job was so long as her connections helped him even if the woman’s main motivation was herself- more specifically her plaything for the month being clean and well-rested. She got bored eventually but he kept the deal with the owner of the property so long as he kept quiet and paying the bills.
Suddenly the other man was looking at him in sync with Apple and Michael felt the need to try and stifle a laugh then and there. He does his best, not wanting to have to explain what was so funny to him. “Don’t worry, I’m not on a schedule or anything.” Even if he were, this was the sort of meeting he didn’t mind taking the time for, not when no schedule that he did have would ever be strict. There were no proper hours to either the dog walking or the street walking.
“You aren’t?” Blaine felt a furry butt wiggling against his belly and gave Apple a scratch behind one ear. Michael’s eyes were bright, on the cusp of a laugh, but Blaine chalked it up to them both being content to be where they are. All three of them, actually. And that was that. Though Michael’s apparent contentment made his own bubble up and soon enough he was smiling so big that the corners of his eyes pinched together and he gave the dog a hug just because.
“Great!” Apparently his happiness radiated to the dog who jumped off his lap and went back to her walker, lifted up her front paws and batted at his leg. Someone wanted up. Blaine didn’t move much. Just enough to take a sip of the coffee he sat beside his leg and forgot about until he was dog free. “Can I buy you a coffee? You brightened my day with her,” he blurted out of the blue, only turned a teeny bit crimson over his nose and cheeks and thumbed over his shoulder. “I.. I don’t think they let dogs in but the coffee shop a block up does. It’s the least I can do for you indulging me.”
Standing up, FINALLY, he brushed his hands on the hems of his pants legs and bent down to pick up his cup, looking up at Michael with a quirk of a brow. “The company would be pretty great. I don’t have anywhere to be until later.” Rehearsal could start without him. It wasn’t like Rachel would mind singing her heart out until he was there.
“Shhh,” Elliott just shushed Blaine with a finger gently against his lips, pairing it with a soft, loving little smile on his face – but it was a way of denial almost. Elliott didn’t always know what Blaine saw in him, especially on days like this when he really was being really rather pathetic, and a hell of a party-pooper.
But he did know he loved Blaine, and for better or for worse, Blaine loved him too.
“Just – hang on a second.” Elliott knelt back on his feet and pulled his now wet flannel off, leaving just the black shirt underneath, which gave him the ability to lean forwards over the tub again, one hand moving to Blaine’s neck. His thumb stroked the others cheek, fondness even in such a simple little action.
“That’s better.” He was much more comfortable like this, and it just felt more natural than leaning all over the place with a half soaked shirt.
“Blaine, baby, I mean what I said. You’re so good for me, and you mean so much to me too. You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.”
Maybe boyfriend. Hopefully boyfriend, or he’d look like a proper idiot right about now.
Blaine’s feet slid against the porcelain as he bent his knees bringing them up as he quieted down. Bubbles that clung in patches against his skin made the faintest crackling noises he heard like thunder in the silence. He didn’t want to ruin this so fast. They were only starting out, after all. But it seemed his mouth was going to get far too ahead of his brain and that might be exactly what he did if he didn’t learn.
A brief nod and he waited. ‘Hanging on’ as Elliott instructed, curious hazel gaze never once leaving his boyfriend as he licked his lips and tasted the both of them on his skin. Elliott coming nearer splashed a wave of warm relief through his chest and helped ease his clenched stomach he hadn’t realized was starting to cramp until now.
Underneath Elliott’s thumb, his cheek shifted up. A hesitant smile freed his lip from the row of front teeth that bit down against it. Baby. Boyfriend. Words that reassured and coaxed him back from the doubt his thoughts were dragging him off to.
“That’s all I want to be,” he confessed while wrapping his fingers around Elliott’s wrist to keep the touch exactly where it lingered. “I’m sorry. I just really don’t want to ruin this.” His head turned and he pressed a kiss to Elliott’s palm before settling his cheek where it moved from.
“Not this time.. Not for any reason. So.. That’s what we are then?”
“…Boyfriends?” You couldn’t blame him for wanting to hear it again. Could you?
The front door was already left open to let the a cool breeze into Blaine’s home in Westerville. Dave’s invitation to come in whenever he got there was already sent via text before Blaine cut him off so he could make the drive safely. Long, off white curtains billowed with the air inside the music room adjacent to the foyer. Close enough that Blaine might’ve heard him come in if the piano wasn’t the object of most of his attention. Today was the first day he could touch it without his hands shaking. Music that he made filled his ears and it felt like coming home.
A hesitant shadow caught his attention by the doorframe. Enough that he flicked a curious glance towards it only to see David leaning against it watching. With no clue how long he’s been there, Blaine’s olive skin flushed a soft pink and his chin lifted to catch up with his gaze now aimed in that direction. An easy smile curved his lips and the music paused long enough for him to whisper, “You made it. How long have you been here? You could have thrown something at me to get my attention. I just..it’s been a while and,” his breath left through his nose as his lips pinched together and he shrugged just once happy to be happy. It was as simple as that.
Maybe this was part of why she was so glad that he was still
here. He could make her feel better about everything in an instant and she
didn´t even feel guilty for smiling. Rachel knew it was a stupid thing, to feel
guilty about feeling better in the first place, Finn would have wanted her to
be happy again, but sometimes she couldn´t help it. She knew Kurt felt the same
way and whenever they talked about it they started crying. Right now she didn´t
feel like crying at all though, she felt like smiling.
“You know,” She began, yelping slightly when she was pulled
even closer to him. Her lips curved into a smile and for a moment Rachel simply
relaxed, closing her eyes. So what if being happy wasn´t all that bad? It
didn´t mean that losing Finn hurt any less, but maybe this was their way to
deal with it. “You should,” She finally spoke again, turning her head ever
slightly so she could look up at him. “And you shouldn´t worry so much about
it. Honestly, it looks great.”
Her lips were still curled into a smile, her full attention
on Blaine now and the movie almost forgotten as it played in the background. “It´s
what makes you stick out, you know? And I mean in a good way. People will
remember you by that hair and in New York you´ll want to be remembered. Maybe
keep it that way as long as you´re here and then when you´re here for good you
can let the curls run free again,” Rachel smiled, snuggling into him even
further. “Barbra dared to be bold and stuck to her true self, so you should do
the same. Finn was always true to himself and that´s what I loved about him.”
Now that they were snuggled in so close together that he had the chance to wrap his arms completely around her, Blaine did exactly that after relaxing back against the wall of pillows she had on her bed (seriously, how does such a tiny person need this many pillows?) for support. Then used his hold, first dropping the leg beside her and stretching it out, to pull her right up against his chest. Once there, with relative ease and a little nudging, Rachel was cradled between his knees once he was in the clear to bend the one he nudged her over again. There. Perfect. Rachel had herself a Blaine cocoon and he had a pillow to rest his chin down on top of. That being her thick hair and the top of her head.
A laugh huffed out of his chest, breath warm across the strands of hair just under his mouth. “Okay. Deal. I try walking around with moderate to light gel in my hair for the next couple of days and you have to go out to dinner with me and Kurt so I have two people to hide me from view if I start to get self conscious about it. Fair enough?” One foot went in the direction of the nearest blanket that was no where close enough for him to reach without messing up their very comfortable position.
“You should grab that because I’m thinking a blanket is the only way to make this even better.” A little warmth would do them both some good. His mind wandered to Kurt in the ‘room’ not very far off. If he woke up, he’d know to come here. They could make a pile on the bed for all he cared. The closer they were to each other, it seemed the less it hurt. There was healing there, right? Before..it was 50/50 on if it made things better or reminded them of who they lost. “Any other tips for how I should blend, but not too much, for this soon to be brand new New Yorker?”
pianokeysandbowties 