“Can be.” Truthfully the things he saw didn’t bother him like they used to. Surely not as much as they should. Being desensitized wasn’t the nicest way to put it, but he’s heard that it happened to everyone; eventually any sort of blood and gore was simply normal. Sooner for some than others. In Barry’s case it wasn’t so much that it made him sick even before his life changed as drastically as it has, rather, he spent less time wondering about the bodies found. The sights and smells he had been used to already, none were haunting him in his sleep but for some there was the question was who they were, what they were like. If even the criminals deserved their fate.
Blaine was the first in a while to say he was proud of Barry. He thinks the last was when he was new to his powers, Joe was patting him on the back for the good he had initially focussed on as a speedster. So much had changed since then. Even if he didn’t abandon the goal of helping the city when other metas attack, there wasn’t much to be proud of him for these days. All the same he couldn’t explain such things to Blaine, ask him if he was sure about his statement. Instead Barry smiles a bit lopsided at his drink and replies with a simple, “Thanks.”
Blaine’s smile was easier to think about. It was a sight that he honestly has missed. “I haven’t, actually. I think about it sometimes, but it always turns into pretending to be someone else again for a little while?” A second of a pause passes and Barry chuckles at himself. “But that’s a little bit too deep for the first time I get with an old friend again, okay um.. You can ignore that part. Maybe someday.”
Words that were on the tip of his tongue fell silent. He wanted to ask how he could deal with seeing those things. What sort of coping mechanisms did he have that got him through each day and into bed every night? Did he have someone he could lean on? Someone he could trust to listen to the bad and try to shower him with good things to think about so he could drift away peacefully instead of the nightmares Blaine pictured himself having after seeing the wild images he could drum up in his head that Barry saw on a day to day basis. Though, he was fairly sure that the questions would be far too none of his business for a friendship that was just now on the verge of rekindling after so many years apart.
“You’re welcome..” Because he was proud of Barry. From what he could see in the short time they spent at the bar talking? The former Warbler had grown immensely over the years. It was almost hard to picture him the tall, lanky boy with the cat-that-ate-the-canary smile and devilishly handsome face (though that hadn’t changed, SebastianBarry would always be handsome) who made him such a stuttering mess because of his outspoken flirtations and eyes that pierced him so deeply he was often left hiding the fact that he was breathless and full of wonder. Yet, here he was and Blaine couldn’t stop his ever growing curiosity of how he ended up becoming..this person.
“I don’t mind deep. I guess I wasn’t thinking about what you would have to do if you went there again. There’s really nothing to go back for me either. A handful of friends. Most of them moved on by now. Sam and I visit a couple times a year. My parents from time to time. Why leave here? You know?” Finishing off his drink, Blaine checked out Barry’s and decided to order them another round. “It’s crazy. Seeing you again. Seeing what you’ve become. It’s not what I expected..but better. Not that what I expected was bad.. Just. Are you happy?”
// How long does it take me to answer some things in my inbox, you ask? About as long as we’ve been waiting for a full length Darren Criss album. I get there eventually though!
1. My family. Including mah puppers. 2. My friends. Online and offline. I got some amazing people I love, ok?? 3. Coffee. Seriously. It makes me happy just to have a coffee sometimes. 4. Being creative. Whether that’s writing or painting or whatever. 5. Music. Without music, I’d be lost most days. I always have something playing.
Blaine blurted out in a moment of complete thick skullness. Their fingers were laced together, arms stretched out above their heads and they laid sprawled out on the living room floor like two starfishes connected at one point arm each and refusing to let go even though the tide threatened to pull them apart with each wave they rode out. Inside his dorm room while watching dozens of stars projected onto the ceiling from a little lamp whirling on his nightstand, he’d left Kurt hanging without realizing he had. A dim-witted statement thrown out when the other told him in such an exasperated tone that Blaine simply brushed off as a continuation of their joke about Kurt giving up on him about something or other. Oh! Yeah! His refusal for the fashion change from bowties even after all these years? If he refused for Sebastian, there was no way Kurt was going to talk him out of them. Blaine’s eyebrows screwed up for only a second when he didn’t hear a laugh echoing his but then he let it go as Kurt finally joined in.
Kurt giving up on him? Never. They both knew that wouldn’t happen. Their friendship wouldn’t fade. No way.
none of what blaine was imagining had ever passed through sebastian’s head. honestly, sebastian wasn’t used to think of things from that angle. to ever think of someone taking advantage of him. he never had, and honestly the thought would have made him laugh. even when he was younger and he’d gone out to bars seeking older men he never thought of it that way. he was usually the one after people, which was why his thoughts went first to if HE had done something wrong. and when blaine said it like that, it clicked. blaine WASN’T mad at him at sebastian for kissing him. and that was all that mattered to him.
his heart was throbbing. his eyes darkened with so many piled up emotions he could barely breathe or see clearly. vision hazed with the weight of years of untold things and unquenched needs. all that time he had spent convincing himself blaine didn’t want him and never would, convincing himself that he would never be good enough to be wanted by blaine. and now… all he saw was blaine as he stared ahead, the boy he’d loved for so long in bright colors, and the rest of the world, a blur. he had kissed blaine. blaine had kissed him back.
when sebastian moved, it was like a whirlwind. he strolled through the kitchen, pushing the box of eclairs aside so abruptly it tumbled off, but he didn’t even pause, didn’t even notice, couldn’t have. he grabbed blaine’s clothes like he could tear them apart, lunged him forward hard, and crashed with blaine. crashed him with his mouth, crashed him with chest and teeth, and with his need. crashed him with all the things he had always wanted to say and that had left him hoarse, stuck in his throat for so long. crashed him with his aching relief, and barely there hope. hope that blaine wouldn’t push him away this time. that just THIS TIME blaine would kiss him back like he said he had, and sebastian would FINALLY know what that felt like. what being kissed by blaine felt like.
blaine’s shirt scrapped his palm with the need of his burying nails, sebastian’s tongue swiped refined sugar and cream from blaine’s lips, and the next step blaine gave forward, sebastian had him with an arm around his lower back. i got you. he had got blaine for the last four years. he breathed hard, chest pushing outwardly against the hands over it, and a shudder came over him when blaine actually made a sound. and then he was being kissed back.
sebastian let go of his shirt and grabbed his face with the same need as his heart exploded. he pulled back only to change sides and kiss him deeper, fit them better, press them harder. his closed eyelids fluttered and his eyebrows were screwed together so tight they hurt, his breath quickly leaving him for blaine’s lips. sebastian stopped.
he opened his green eyes at blaine just enough to look at him, at his beautiful face, closer than sebastian had ever been before. and then he started to lean in again, eyes weighing closed once more as he repressed their lips with the gentlest of pressures, carefully pushing blaine’s lips apart with his own to lace them, and sucking slowly. his thumb ran the line of his cheek bone. if this was the only kiss he was ever gonna get, he wanted to do this right.
The world was a dizzying spin around the two of them that stole Blaine’s sense of gravity and tethered it to the arm that fit snuggly around his waist. He has me. He’s always had me. But never once like this. Drunken kiss in the car aside? For four years, Blaine never once caved. Never once let himself cross that line with the man who made him so confused and tongue tied. Unsteady and unsure of everything he thought he wanted with one simple stare, voice that dug it’s way into his very bones and a devilish smile that quickened his pulse. But made everything else feel like it stopped to stare longer than he should ever stare at someone who looked at him like that.
So, Sebastian’s hold was exactly what he craved and it came at the exact time when he was sure that if he didn’t have it? He’d be floating off to outer space without a single hope of coming back down again. All because of one simple kiss that left him blindly drifting away and falling into the taste of Sebastian’s mouth against his, his breath brushing along his cheek and the way he held him steady when he needed it most.
Blaine’s fingers began to shake. Even as he held two fistfuls of Sebastian’s shirt clenched into them so tight it’d be wrinkled when he finally let go. The soft sound he’d made when their mouths first connected melted away into something lower, caught between a breath out between the cracks of their mouths so he could swallow more air and the tease of the groan that was building up desperately inside the pit of his stomach. One that escaped when Blaine couldn’t hold it in anymore. And it drifted from deep inside him into Sebastian’s mouth where his tongue ached to explore even deeper.
He took his time catching up to Sebastian’s demand and need, enough that he still hadn’t tasted him completely before Sebastian’s hands were on his face and Blaine was on his tiptoes, not realizing they were nearly stepping on the tips of Sebastian’s with how close he’d gotten. The pause drew his eyes barely open as his kiss began to match Sebastian’s depth and ache, two slivers of hazel and gold cracking to stare in a daze up through the veil of thick, dark lashes at Sebastian’s lips as if he had some supernatural power to make them come back with just a glance. This couldn’t end. Who knew when it would happen again?
Sebastian Smythe could get inside his head. Blaine always thought he could but never would admit to such a thing. Too much power handed over to someone who might run away with it and leave him wondering how he might ever get it back and knowing full well Sebastian wouldn’t let it go if he gave it to him or should he let his guard completely down long enough for him to steal it. And he already has before… So say the sleepless nights spent after their conversations where he laid staring at the shadows on his ceiling trying to piece together how one person–a person he wasn’t even with–could make him question so much while seeming to give him so many answers to others he didn’t want to admit were there.
He did it just now too. Lulling Blaine’s eyes closed as he felt him draw nearer in time with Sebastian’s opening leaving Blaine unaware he was being looked at as his lips parted, expecting and waiting and… Then they were taken again, nudged open and they fell apart so easily with a cant of his head and a shudder that ran all the way to his toes as his cheek was caressed and he felt Sebastian sucking against his mouth. Blaine yielded to it, slipping his tongue inside to graze against Sebastian’s and flick against the roof of his mouth. A shock of electricity moved through his veins and his hands lifted up, the tips of his fingers danced over Sebastian’s hairline before their long lengths buried into his hair. Deeper still and he was certain he tasted heaven there. His heart banged against his rib cage like a hammer and he didn’t care he couldn’t breath anymore. Or about moving as slow when his hands tightened into fists, pulled Sebastian’s mouth tighter.
Please..don’t stop. Not yet. If a moment could last forever. Now would be a good time..
( mssg » barry | sent ) Barry! I’m sorry. It’s been a crazy day. I promise I’m not ignoring you on purpose. Rachel’’s going to be the death of me. I swear to God, the woman doesn’t know what pausing for a break means. ( mssg » barry | sent )
When she wants to focus..we FOCUS. Or I get the Rachel Berry Stare. No one wants that. I heard it practically killed a man once. ( mssg » barry | sent ) I think she’s letting me leave in an hour. Want to meet for coffee?
text — blaine ; No offense taken. text — blaine ; Though we should probably change the subject. text — blaine ; How’s Tina? text — blaine ; 😊
( mssg » kurt | sent ) Good.. Thank you. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) Yeah. I think we should. Definitely.
[nearly two hours later.] ( mssg » kurt | sent ) Tina is Tina. You know how she can be but she’s a good friend and means well. Mostly. ( mssg » kurt | sent ) Currently, she’s my lifesaver. She’s coming over tonight to keep me company. My parents are out of town and she has a soup she swears is going to get rid of this cold once and for all. ( mssg » kurt | sent )
I don’t know what I’d do without her.
♪♬ INDEPENDENT BLAINE ANDERSON FROM FOX’S GLEE. AS LOVED BY J. ♬♪
It was dark and Hunter was right there. A piercing, expectant glare that even in the dim lighting made Blaine’s insides twist up into a dozen tightly pulled knots. Six minutes, thirty seven seconds to go. Blaine was sure he could count the number of times in his life where thirty seconds ever felt so LONG. They were already in a stand-off. Not a word was spoken ever since the door was closed. The silence so thick that Blaine was sure he could cut it with a knife if he tried. Outside the door, the murmurs of the other Warblers died out. They were listening. Probably waiting to see who was going to kill the other one first because the friction between the two was getting so bad that neither one of them could keep it private anymore.
Six minutes.. And counting..
A graze of fingertips over his wrist turned stronger, tighter. Was Hunter challenging him? Blaine’s eyes narrowed and snapped down just as he was pulled forward fast enough that he tripped the few steps and landed against Hunter’s chest. It was rising and falling, fast but deep. The silence continued. Again that stare was waiting for him when he looked up. The shadows didn’t do him any favors in offering him a break. Because he saw the arch of a single brow. Hunter infuriated him every time he did that. The military born former Captain knew it was a weakness. That it made him lock up, made his hands tremble. Not today.
Fine. If he wanted a challenge.. He could have what he expected from him the first time. Before Blaine walked away..because they were on a slippery slope to punches being thrown. Or a full blown huge mistake of letting the opposite happen again. At five minutes, Blaine cinched his teeth together and felt his restraint break. The kiss knocked their teeth together and Blaine was sure he cut his lip on Hunter’s. Or came damn close to it. But, enough was enough. And his tongue soothed his own lip before breaking through the barrier between Hunter’s lips and seeking out his. Nevermind at four minutes at fifty-six seconds, Blaine let out a throated noise he hated himself for making, fingers curled against Hunter’s neck. He should just choke him, do the world a favor. But instead, they pulled him closer.
“Rhetorical question, Lurch. Hold it, people!” The words were barely out of her mouth and someone had already rushed to turn off the music. “Take five or work on your double pirouettes. I don’t care, do something,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Blaine as she zeroed in on him. “What’s your problem today? That wasn’t rhetorical, by the way.”
The second time the pet name was used on him, he let it go. In the grand scheme of things? Being called Lurch because of his hair was the least of his issues. However, passing this class was near the top of them. Along with the rest of the others the normally overachieving, polite student who’d been becoming increasingly distant and not quite overachieving the past few weeks was struggling with. Blaine felt his stomach fill with ice and then plummet to the floor the minute Cassandra called out for everyone to stop. It was cemented under the floorboards when she turned her narrow gaze directly at him. Stuttering to say anything, his eyes were practically screaming an apology to make up for his lack of knowing what to say and not have it sound like some flimsy reason for his routine falling apart.
“I.. There’s nothing I can tell you that isn’t going to sound like I’m only trying to make an excuse for myself. I’ll get it together. Starting now..,” he swallowed the lump in his throat to keep from rambling on further as he felt himself close to doing the opposite.
Connor didn’t have an ‘off button’. How Blaine could let that slip past his mind, he had no idea. Mental note for next time. Though he was fairly sure changing this leopard’s spots was going to be impossible. He knew Connor was loving the playful hell he was putting him through. One look into Connor’s dark eyes dancing with happiness at himself was all it took for verify the thought. If someone had a need to check in the first place.
Blaine choked on his coffee. Choked. When the lighthearted way he was listening to Connor’s banter came back to bite his rear in the form of a particular image painted with one of the things Connor might do to him in that situation flashed in his mind. With watery eyes due to caffeine up the nose, he stared at the table and shook his head before looking back up and TRYING so hard to fire back ANYTHING that was going to get him ground to catch his footing on. “I..” Dang it! Bad time to pause! “Good luck getting any of that by calling me Smurfster. Contrary to popular belief..or maybe just your own… names like that are NOT the way to get anyone.. By anyone, we’re referring to me, in nothing but their–aka my–tie..”
pianokeysandbowties 