Tag: long post

sam.

( mssg » blaine | sent ) omg dude my fingers are gonna have freaking abs by the time i wake up tmrw lmao jesus man i love it. ok ok lemme reply

( mssg » blaine | sent )

i literally have never been so stoked to be signed up and i’ve signed up for some PrEtTy cool things in my life time blaine. but this is still my fave. lol you make it sound like an escape room hahah 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

DUDE. if it makes you feel any better you were always right with me lol. like you were 1000% the Brain and i was Pinky altho poor inaccurate representation of us because pinky doesnt even have abs and ur head isnt nearly that big (except when u win three games of singstar or cod in a row then it gets BIGGER) lolol. You can be right with me and that’ll weigh out whatever awkward “wrongness” comes ur way. i’m so freaking glad it wasnt weird 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

i get what you mean. i’m not ur therapist but IM telling you not to think about it like that ok? like, picture yourself as a big apartment building ok? like the coolest apartment building in the WHOLE wide freaking world that has a movie theatre in it and lazer tag in the basement and secret tunnels to get around, with trees that grow money, and the BEST chinese food pizza place in it thats got like two michelin mans because its so good. also the rock lives there and hes always throwing dope parties and inviting us over for cheat day (ok but that isnt apart of what im trying to say i’m just saying we would be buddies with him. and not only that but like stan lee and tom hardy and they also filmed starwars on the roof ok?  and think of all the people that live there as ur likes, and memories, and all the good and bad things that ever happened

( mssg » blaine | sent )

but one day… a whole floor got bed bugs so u quarantined the floor like the super vac-u-lock kinda doors like in Alien and fall out and that floor had to get torched by khaleesi’s dragons personally. and unfortunately because no one warned anyone that lived there they got insinerated and we’re gonna look over the huge lawsuit that u would inherit under any other circumstance but THEY WERE REALLY BAD BEDBUGS and again you’re the COOLEST apartment building in the entire universe. even the queen has her own room with her own reptilian exit in the basement that opens into all the tunnels to middle earth and stuff. so those people, some of them were good people and… it really really sucks theyre gone but.. there were also some really bad people too. like some stuff that really sucked when you were going through it, some of the worst things you wouldn’t ever wana remembeer? well theres some balance there. 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

because in the end, once the floor was torched its now empty and you can LITERALLY design it the way you want. u want a hair gel factory in there? honestly i’d judge you a little bit but you can put one in, and you can put in a pizza place and a to scale replica of hogwarts so it’s like apartmentception and stuff but… the point is, you have a blank slate now and thats pretty cool. 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

You’re still y o u blaine. just cause you lost some people along the way doesn’t make you any less you. all you can do is be the best version of yourself and thats who you’re happy with when u look in the mirror. and whoever that guy is? well he makes me pretty damn happy too. 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

summers coming, maybe we could do a mini roadtrip. check all those things off the list. we’ll do a bunch of concerts, and go to the beach, and idk go chill with your horse for a bit. u cant ride him but maybe you can just give him lots of love? maybe he can have his own instagram, idk blaine its a brand new world and animals are so hot rn on insta im js

( mssg » blaine | sent )

anytime. i’ll tell you if you want, but i think you should just try to smash the blaine anderson mold you put yourself in. think of it as digivolving, or just evolving if you wanna stick with pokemon. you just got your evolution stone, blaine. you’re still gonna be old you,but you now have room for the new you too. and as of right now? theres no difference. they’re one in the same. hows that for a mindfuck? sry i know i should be gentle on your brain, its been through enough but those old mindtwisters, they’ll getcha there. 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

dude, ive literally been smiling since you texted me and its starting to hurt, same w my fingers but like i like it. i missed this sfm. DUDE DUDE DUDE

( mssg » blaine | sent )

omg i was about to say do you remember when and i swear 2 god its out of habit pls dont be offended if i say that in person IRL dont mean to omg 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

BUT OKAY i’m just saying once upon a time we were talking about statistics (lol u srsly did NOT like mr. ratger at all) after class one day and we ended up getting sucked into a wormhole wondering how many times we _____. like how many times have u hugged ur mom? and how many texts have you sent? how many times have u peed in your entire life? how many have we hung out? and we were wondering what your stats would be like if everything you ever did was recorded since  u were born and we both got so mad we couldnt have started counting and that we lost years of data. altho to be honest that was like the week long matrix/conspiracy theory trek into the darkside of youtube so like OBVIOUSLY we were in too deep but it makes me laugh kinda because u wiped your hard drive and now have the perfect opportunity. but i dont suggest keeping track of how many times i make u laugh cause even ur not smart enough to count that high. 😛 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

i’m gonna try, i promise. and i’m not goin anywhere. thank u for being so cool about this. like you’ve always been the coolest guy but dude, that stuck. 

( mssg » blaine | sent )

oh…

( mssg » blaine | sent )

did your parents like… tell you anything? like at all? i was from bushwick, y’know, before dalton… hey, can i see you? i know its late but if i drive up to dalton rn, can we talk? if not, thats totally cool and we can talk tmrw night and stuff i just… kinda wanna answer this one in person if its ok with you? and if not, im sure u have a bunch more so u can throw those at me too i just… yeah. 

( mssg » sam | sent ) Now you’re just trying to make me feel better. 😛
( mssg » sam | sent ) So what you’re saying is I should look at my brain like it has an empty floor and create something inside that space?  It’d be hard to compete with everything else in this crazy apartment building but I’m sure I could give it a shot?
( mssg » sam | sent )

Maybe if I do that, then it’ll just fill back up again with what was already there lurking.  Like cockroaches surviving a fire.  The parts of it that don’t want to die out completely but are just waiting for someone to flip on the switch?  I don’t know.  Everyone has a different theory.  Every specialist thinks they’re “on the verge” and it’s almost as annoying as it is terrifying that I’m supposed to trust these people with my past.
( mssg » sam | sent )

You said I forgot a lot of things.  Good and bad.  What did you mean by that?  How much bad was there?  My parents and Cooper don’t want to talk about it.  They say it’s better to just let it go and not think about it or dwell on it.  That I’m starting over for a reason and I shouldn’t look too far back.  But, that’s my story.  You know?  

( mssg » sam | sent ) How am I supposed to not want to go back and reread it?  I haven’t yet cause I promised them I wouldn’t.  It’s a promise I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep.

( mssg » sam | sent ) I want to know about nights spent like you say.  Weird movie binge watches that end up with us looking up conspiracy theories on the internet for hours.  How we were so close and it all happened within the span of the years I lost.  It’s not fair that you were inside that timeframe and I don’t remember anything about us.  We should have met before.  Then, maybe, you’d have stuck.  
( mssg » sam | sent ) They told me a few things..  Bushwick?  Really?  Yes.  Yes!  Definitely.  If it’s that important, don’t tell me here.  Come see me.  I stay at the dorm in my own room.  You can stay as long as you want.  I don’t have any appointments until after Spring Break.  I thought being here with the Warblers who stayed behind would make better company..
( mssg » sam | sent ) I’m on the top floor. Corner room at the end of the hall.  You can use my pin number to get in.  It’s 9531.  Swipe your ID card and you’re set.

( mssg » sam | sent ) Drive safe.  I’m really looking forward to seeing you.

lip.

          “Yeah.” Lip laughed, nudging against Blaine’s shoulder as if he was the one acting like an idiot. “Don’t blame you, that guy. He looks like a Chad, probably has a Chinese symbol for ‘joy’ 

tramp stamped on his back, and a bird wrist tatt, and’uh,  had a Prince Albert for a few years until an ex got it stuck in their teeth.”   Lip of course, had absolutely no idea if he was right about any of it, but his profiling could be pretty on point sometimes. And if anything, Blaine would at least get a chuckle out of it. He was far from the full package, especially for the other’s natural pedigree, but he could hold his own and 98% of the time his ladies weren’t disappointed in his performance.And yeah, he’d never so much as thought of being with a dude before, even when he found Ian’s stash of porn, even when Ian tried to convince him he couldn’t know unless he’d been with one. But how hard could it be? He knew what felt good, and Blaine already looked at him as if he walked on water half the fucking time. It’d probably be a total wet dream, even if Blaine wasn’t into him. Fuck, the joint was hitting him harder than he thought, but that was probably his bad for how much shatter he’d slipped in. Still the thought of him and Blaine had actually entered his mind and it took him a few seconds to even register what that mean… If anything. He was being an idiot.  Jesus. Slightly dazed, Lip shook his head clearing the image away.”Pie in your face though? I was joking. It’s the last thing you need smeared all over your face,” Because that few seconds had kind of tipped the scale into the mental image, and… Good god, was he that fucking desperate right now? Sierra and him had just… 

          “Yeah’no, it’s fine.” Lip laughed, brushing off how ridiculously animated Blaine seemed to get, acting like he’d just gotten him something far more sentimental or important. The mystified eyes caused his brows to curl, trying to decode what he was actually thinking. “Hey’uh whoever you want. Figured getting you one was a dick move.” He teased, bringing the glass back up to his lips, careful to not poke his eye on the tiki umbrella. The glass was pulled back just in time for Blaine’s arm to press around his shoulder and … His lips? To meet with his cheek. That he didn’t imagine and it hadn’t happened before and now… Well, he hadn’t imagined it. It took a second and a half for his expression to shift back down, the small bit of stun wearing off as he turned, eyes finding Blaine’s. “Yeah, no prob.” He shrugged, following the toast’s direction back to the bartender. Blaine was playing dirty. Raising his glass, he nodded, gaze weighted with something that hadn’t been there moments before and sardonically toasting over to the appointed Chad. The shiteating grin didn’t falter as his eyes moved back to Blaine, “yeah no, we’re keeping you away from Lucky. You’re woke to his pot’a gold of lies now, alright? Hey, drink up, Carrie.” (Wait, it was on the beach, not the city. Whatever, he doubted Blaine needed the magnifying glass to see his reach. ”This place is lame. I’m not gonna let you ring in your birthday surrounded by a bunch’a pricks. Might as well give you a real South Side birthday. None’a this Facebook shit.”

image

Wow!  Lip really managed to paint poor ‘Chad’ in one heck of a light.  Blaine, of course, stole the opportunity to give him one of his cheekiest grins yet.  A sure sign something was brewing in his head to toss at the other.  Right before it was blurted out in a taunt that had Blaine lightly tapping the side of his foot with the edge of his shoe to get his attention then toss it towards good ol’ Chad behind the bar with a tick of his chin in Chad’s direction.  “Seems like you know him.  Is he an ex of someone you know?  Or…  Yours?  Is there something you’re not telling me, Lip?”  See? Blaine could dish out the picking on just as bad and maybe unfairly as Lip could.  Especially with a drink in him already before they left the house and and now three or four sips into another.  Lightweight always.  But at least he was a cheap date!  Lips still open from his goading smile, hazel eyes sparkled mischievously.  “What should I have smeared all over my face…?  In your expert opinion?”  God bless him when he could be Mister Oblivious.  Not connecting where Lips mind wandered off to, to himself because..Lip never would think that..Blaine simply took another sip of his drink, chased the taste off his lips with a sweep of his tongue and then burst out laughing when Chad turned around and a hint of some kind of tramp stamp was at the small of his back. 

“You’re coming with me.  And no present is a dick move.  Regardless of one or two tickets.  Though it would’ve been a little awkward to go alone.  Might’ve had to drag you with me anyway.”  Lip was off the hook from his derpish question within a couple beats of a very gay club remix of a Sam Smith song that shouldn’t even exist.  “S’not like I’m going to burn the place down if Chad magically ends up cutting us off if you keep staring back at him like that.  Not that psycho.”  Different Carrie and holy crap what a great time to point out a teeny, maybe Blaine wasn’t so oblivious sort of thought made loose lipped thanks to strong alcohol putting a hole in the filter between his thoughts and his mouth.  “Hey!  Okay!  Where are we going next,” perking up–Blaine sucked the last three sips down in one non-ending string of pulls from his straw until the ice clinked against the sides of the glass.  All gone!  Round two here?  Or round two elsewhere?  “This place sort of smells weird anyway,” his nose scrunched and a hand batted some air back and forth under the tip of his nose.  “Maybe it’s all the cologne, sweat and liquor but..is it just me or..does it really just start to burn your nose hairs after a while?”  WHAT?  Welcome to Blaine’s Scattered Brain.  Probably a blessing considering this strange circle that the two of them were slowly starting to dance around a certain…well…nothing major.  “Are we going to that Alibi place again?  The one where the guy the size of a refrigerator works at?  They’re hilarious..”  They’d have a better night there than spending it with Chad and strangers, anyway.

image

💏

fifty ways to kiss someone.
roll: 12, …in grief.

image

There was blood everywhere.

On his hands.  On his knees.  His chin.  Inside his mouth.  Coating his teeth and tongue in a taste that went beyond sweet, beyond intoxicating and dug deep into his soul as his hunger was sated and the pain began to fade.  He’d fallen with his victim, crouched in the dark alley between the docks.  Around them the air was thick with seaweed, dead fish and damp.  The muck underneath his expensive trousers was seeping between the threads and he could feel press cold against his skin.  What he didn’t swallow still dribbled out of the holes he made with his teeth.  Blaine’s hand lifted up, his upturned palm pressed between his lips parted his jaw and made the sharp edges dig into his flesh.  Crimson lines ran down the neck he stared at mixed with the rainwater and muck that made the scenery all too perfect for his crime.  

Adam had wanted to make the experience pleasurable.  A lie that might disguise what he’d done seem beautiful and soft.  The pitiful human who easily gave themselves over to Adam’s old world charm.  Like he did for so very long.  Only he was ‘lucky’ enough not to die for his yielding.  His talent, companionship and beauty, as Adam put it, sparing him his life and from becoming another heap of bones forgotten at the bottom of the Hudson River.  So, he ran.  Trying to escape the hunger and the pain and smell of the drunken man Adam steered into the room he’d been balled up in the corner of.  He ran and ran until a hum, clink, hum, clink stopped him in his tracks.

The hammer swung up and crashed down.  Up and down.  Oil burned from lamps inside the blacksmith’s rickety bayside shop.  But the usually pungent smell was lost on the whiff of something far more alluring.  Copper and sweet cream.  Damnation and relief.  They screamed inside Blaine’s veins before clamping into them with nails and claws tearing him apart and tugging him inside.  A pair of dark eyes peering above puffy, dirty cheeks greeted him with a confused but welcoming smile. Everything faded.  A scream brought him back long enough that he registered they were running.  Then everything went upside down and pitch black as ecstasy ran into his mouth and he pulled and pulled and pulled.

The blacksmith was dead. Vacant eyes stared up at him, mouth contorted in a final howl that his ears refused to hear.  Blaine choked.  He felt sick.  “No, no, no, no,” frantic hands began to squeeze at the man’s neck trying to stop what was left.  A stupid and fruitless attempt to right his wrong.  A snap of bone and he wrenched his hand free, staring at it like something that strong couldn’t possibly belong to him.  “No, please,” and he lurched forward only to be snapped backwards, feet lifting off the ground with the speed of his backwards trajectory.  Terrified as he was turned around, the sight of Adam kicked a sob from his gut and he pointed down at the body, eyes screaming see what you made me do?

How they ended up kissing, Blaine was sure it was his doing. A soft touch to his cheek and his heart broke in two.  The only thing he wanted was the taste gone and Adam to swallow up his world, take that sight away, make him forget.  He was good still.  Not the monster on his knees trying to dig out a shred of life from the mud and somehow smash it back inside the man he murdered.  Their mouths moved with a familiar cadence, his opened for Adam to kiss him deeper like he had a many times before.  Like nothing bad ever happened, like Blaine needed him.  And he did..oh God..he did.

sam.

( mssg » blaine | sent ) always, dude. sign me up for the all access pass then cause i’m in.
( mssg » blaine | sent ) oh man, lmao that’s gonna take some getting used to. thanks for asking the question tho instead of guessing. stevie is my lil brother, and stacie is my lil sister. … yeah, i hope its not weird to say or anything, but you’re totally still the same blaine just fyi. 
( mssg » blaine | sent ) lmao jokes on you (but in a good way :P). yeah… i can’t imagine. the bright side is you’re still getting better so progress is progress and it’s all worth it. i’m not a therapist or anything (but we did only get like two channels after school for a while and one always had dr phil on when we came home from school so maybe im like, a little qualitfied////probably not tho) but i think you making YOU feel better is the most important part right now because your the one that has to work thru everything, not them. you deserve to laugh, and to smile, and your feelings DO matter blaine. they matter more than anything else. seriousness is OVERRATED, frustrtaion is too which makes me wonder how they had such a big board game building around it, you know? like dont wake daddy? operation? trouble? mousetrap? JENGA? ALL FRUSTRATION GAMES. 
( mssg » blaine | sent ) lol sry blame it on the dysexlia. 
( mssg » blaine | sent )  hmm. idk can i be honest?
( mssg » blaine | sent ) lol nvm i know what you’re gonna say but.. pls dont take this the wrong way either cause i just dont know how else to explain it but like. i know you and everything we had and how awesome BLAM was and i know how high the bar is and it’s like, i dont wanna set the bar to the wrong height but its like how do i put all those years and all the memories and the insider jokes and movie marathons all into like, a tanglable level? you know? like im not nERVOUS nervous im just
( mssg » blaine | sent ) i dont wanna blow it. and i know that sounds so stupid but i know they said this can be really overwhelming and like, i spent so long thinking what it would be like if things were the other way and i cant even think of the words for it and i just dont want to scare you off or come off too strong but its also hard because like that WAS us you know? lol we were extra  i guess u could say
( mssg » blaine | sent ) i’m so so so so so happy you ended up texting me tonight like you dont even know. it feels so good to talk to you again. but im insight 101, hit me with ur best shot, fire away.lol sry for the typos keyboard is silly

( mssg » sam | sent ) Then consider yourself officially signed up!  There’s no escaping now.
( mssg » sam | sent ) I’ve learned better to guess.  I’m usually wrong and it makes for a whole lot of awkwardness I’d rather avoid for not just the other person but myself as well.  It’s not weird to say.  It’s reassuring to hear that from someone who isn’t related to me and knew me before this.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m like myself or if I’m losing myself.  Or who I was.
( mssg » sam | sent ) I’m not supposed to think like that.  I am who I am and that’s the biggest lesson I need to hang onto.  Or so I hear.  But that’s a lot easier said than done.  Because I don’t want to forget who I was and change completely.  I still love music.  I still love being on the water.  Not allowed to ride my horse but I love him a lot.
( mssg » sam | sent ) There’s so much I remember and I feel like the same person that I think I know as me but what if that isn’t me and everyone isn’t telling me?  Those are the ideas that go through my head on the daily.  So, thank you, for telling me that.  Without me asking.  I needed to hear it.

( mssg » sam | sent ) Yes, you can be honest.
( mssg » sam | sent ) Hey, Sam?  You can’t possibly blow this.  From what I know about you?  You’re an sweet, kind person who doesn’t mind being patient enough with me to sit up at an ungodly hour and talk to me so I’m not lonely.  You’re funny.  You made me laugh until I couldn’t breath a dozen times or more.  Please stop worrying.  Put that thought as far out of your head as you possibly can and..
( mssg » sam | sent ) Be with me.  Be my friend.   Be here?   Be yourself.  I want to know you.  That’s the cakewalk part.  Don’t make it difficult for you.  Let it be as easy as it was the first time?  We’re gonna be fine.

( mssg » sam | sent ) Don’t worry about the typos.  I might make a few here and there, too.  It’s late.  Okay.  Let’s start with question number one.  If you and I knew each other?  That means you left because you weren’t at Dalton until now.  Where did you go?  Or were you from my old school and just transferred?

elliott.

“Why’ve you gotta DEPRIVE ME of a view this good? I’m not DONE staring at your ass.” Elliott turned none the less – if Blaine asked him to he’d do just about anything, following and obeying on fairly blind faith without TOO MUCH complaint or grumbling. 

Blaine had earned his place in Elliott’s heart, and as one of the few people he inexplicable trusted – trusted FAR MORE than just simply turning around, but even so. 

With his back to Blaine, Elliott waited PATIENTLY for him to be ready, only the bouncing of his foot showing his excitement. 

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll show you a picture of me BEFORE I started dying my hair. There aren’t many floating around.” Elliott wasn’t even sure if Blaine NEW his natural hair colour – his dye job was pretty damn good, even if he DID say so himself. 

Elliott turned just in time to miss the cheeky grin and roll of eyes he earned fair and square from his boyfriend for his protest.  “I promise I’ll let you look again soon.”  Lighthearted and jovial as that was, Blaine felt his insides want to curl up and peek out from underneath a rock to see his reaction. 

Ahh!  The true test of a relationship!  Will they stick around after the mop of below the eyebrow length curls are revealed?!  Okay, so it wasn’t that huge of a deal but making fun of his own hesitation (even if it was in his head) was enough to calm his nerves.

The towel was placed on his hook by the shower leaving his damp hair for his fingers to run through.  They combed over his scalp once before resting against Elliott’s shoulder in a feather light touch to get his attention.

“Might hold you to showing me that picture.  We’ll see if I’m gonna need ammo.”  A kiss pressed to Elliott’s shoulder blade later, Blaine stepped back and swung his hand up to rub his neck.  “Okay.  Turn around…  Ready as I’ll ever be.”

adam & kurt.

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          A faint blush rapidly spread across the porcelain skinned male’s cheeks upon being on the receiving end of the stranger’s compliments, a distinct mixture of blue and green hues quick to gaze down at the animal displayed on his particularly bold choice of fashion. Not often did a stranger randomly point out the state of his perfectly styled appearance unsolicited. Granted, the way he usually dressed ( and had done every waking moment of his life ) typically stemmed from mostly a matter of self expression. Vintage finds combined with some of the latest designers, a perk he had earned from his internship at Vogue as he was often rewarded with an early inside draft of the esteemed fashion magazine — the sentiment of being under the man’s now scrutinous gaze somewhat unnerving.  

          ❛ It’s Burberry Prorsum, ❜  he breathed, his bright gaze still hopelessly scanning over their surroundings before a pair of deep blue eyes quickly managed to draw him back in —- the other male’s stares positively quizzitive under the dim lights of the small cafe.  ❛ I guess it is pretty crowded. ❜  Judging by the significant lack in Blaine and particularly long line of customers growing increasingly larger by the counter, it probably seemed selfish to just be hogging the entire table. Introductions, though admirable, fallen shortlived as the human’s attention diverted in an instant. 

          ❛ —BLAINE! ❜  

His cordial smiles grew remarkably fonder as his friend ( though, in any case, fashionably late ) finally made an appearance. Eyes once lost, now filled with intrigue, deeply engrossed and invested as the scene had rapidly changed its course and unfolded.  ❛ We actually only just started talking— ❜

          ❛ I’m Kurt— Kurt Hummel. What are the odds. ❜

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          it took everything in adam not to let the pleasant and polite expression fall into one of irritation. he’d felt blaine’s presence before he heard him, that was something he couldn’t mistake. despite looking like all of his attention was fixed on kurt, he was constantly scanning the area around them. blaine finding him there was his plan, but not so soon. not enough to drag kurt’s attention from him. ❝ it’s lovely to see you again, blaine. it’s been quite some time, hasn’t it? ❞ adam replied, although his smile was more than a little forced while his voice remained pleasant. his attention returned to kurt, tilting his head slightly. ❝ i was quite lucky enough to meet blaine’s acquaintance when i first came to the city from england. quite the serendipitous meeting. ❞ despite the length of time between him landing in the states and now, adam still had fond memories of discovering blaine. blaine had been his first real game; befriending him, charming him and ultimately protecting him. even if it hadn’t gone entirely to plan.

          ❝ almost like we’re just following each other. ❞ the joke was met with genuine amusement on his face, although his eyes returned back to blaine’s features with a slightly extended sense of humour. as far as they’d gotten from each other, it was inevitable that they would find one another again. eternity didn’t go by without at least some of it spent in each other’s company. and considering he had put a lot into ensuring blaine’s survival, he wanted to make sure blaine wasn’t being reckless. especially acting like a human and befriending a decent meal. ❝ how did you both meet? another new york coincidence? ❞

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”Kurt!  It’s great to see you.  Sorry I kept you waiting.  The subway was packed.”  Or so he says but it was believable and far better than the real reason why.   Feeding before meeting Kurt was a necessity.  One Blaine hated indulging in to the point he did each time he saw Kurt but it kept Kurt safe and him sated and warm and that’s what mattered..

Lovely to see him?  Somehow, Blaine doubted that was the truth.  Obviously, Adam was up to something.  His lack of reaching out to Blaine whatsoever combined with making sure he’d be here on the evening when Kurt and he planned to meet up?  Blaine made a mental note that his senses must be slipping.  Believing this was all one just coincidence was naive beyond the meaning of the word.  And Blaine liked to think of himself as not so naive anymore.  Not how he was when he put faith and trust in the man he smiled at now.  Man.  Ha!  Well.  As far as Kurt knew, that’s what they both were.  So, why not go with it and remain convincing. Adam better not screw this up.  “Mm. Yes, I did.  I had the pleasure of being Adam’s tour guide until he got settled in.  How’ve you been?  Other than following me around, like you said.”  He grinned jokingly enough, a friendly banter between two people who knew one another and were catching up.

“We met after Kurt came into a place where I was playing.  He was with a few friends and they were still there when I was finished.  I couldn’t let the night go by without saying hello and the rest is history.”  The where was left out but the means was true.  Looking over at Kurt, the vampire smiled–brows lifted an inviting Kurt to add more to the conversation if he wanted.

jason.

“I am damn near thirty-three years old. Still young but old enough to remember when the world wasn’t as welcoming as it is now. Old enough to remember telling my first crush how I felt about him and winding up in the hospital a week later. Parents were not happy about that. Their perfect little Taiwanese son was into guys?” he snorted. “They got over it. Things got better. Slowly. And yeah, I’ve been  to the club and come out of it worse for wear. This-” he tapped the kids knuckles lightly. “Isn’t a bar brawl gone wrong. These punches had purpose.”

“Happy birthday, kid. And trust me, you’re no bother. I’d have given anything for some help when I got myself into some sticky situations.”

By the way his wrappings that they’d tossed in the trash were stained a gross dark brown red and the damage on his knuckles?  Blaine wasn’t so sure the world made as many leaps and bounds towards acceptance that Jason was under the impression of.  Or he could be getting frustrated and grumpy because he was hungry, in pain and still upset.  A mix of both to sour his mood?  Yeah.  That was pretty on point.  A sardonic smile touched on his lips, a huff of laughter with no real sound said he sympathized with the parental opinion by first hand experience.  And hospital stays for a part of yourself you couldn’t change?  Yeah, he’d punched that card too.  Unfortunately.  

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he glanced up–gaze softened with understanding.  “All of it.  No one deserves that.  Parents are supposed to support us.  Some just miss the message.”  Swallowing hard as his knuckles were tapped, Blaine’s breath hitched.  “Probably more purpose than I want to think about..”  Because the idea that he’d punched when he could have stopped crossed his mind more than once and the connotations behind that were something he’d rather not dwell on.  Until later.

“Thanks.  I appreciate it.  The birthday wish and the help.  Can I make it up to you?  Are you hungry?  I need a shower and food.  Let me make you dinner?  It’s the least I can do.”

tina.

It was a spring of the moment, a little surprise trip to go to New York and surprise a few of her friends. Well, needless to say, most of her friends lived in New York and Tina was sometimes a little lonely at Brown. So, what does the brown-haired girl do? Well, she hopped in a plane to travel to New York City, where she knew she would be welcomed with open arms. Blaine and Kurt’s apartment, of course!

It seemed simple enough, show up, unannounced and surprise two of her close friends. Boy, was she in for it! The two boys welcomed her in and let her crash on the couch, but did she mind? No, because it was a comfortable, yet stylish couch, probably Kurt’s doing. 

She spent days with the Hummel-Andersens, enjoying every last second she had in the city with the boys. She let them take her to all the best shopping places as well as try to see a show. 

It was early morning when Tina felt another body close to her, it felt like someone was trying to spoon her while she was getting some beauty rest in. Then, she heard the soft voice and she knew who was. It was none-other than Blaine Anderson, snuggling up to her on the couch, trying to steal her warm heat. She cracked a big smile as she heard his words, because she knew in her heart that she would miss being with Blaine. The last few days she spent with him and in a matter of hours, she would have to go back to Rhode Island. The brown-haired girl pushed away the sad thoughts before feeling Blaine hold her closer. She whispered back to him, just enough so he could hear her before they both dozed off, “I’m going to miss you more Blaine.”

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Hearing Tina whisper back, Blaine smiled and pressed his forehead against the nape of her neck.  “You know what’s crazy,” he continued to talk even as she drifted off keeping his voice a notch above a whisper as to not disturb her drifting away, “I’d totally steal you away and plop you into NYU with me if I could.  Selfish as it is.  Brown’s a great school but it’d be great to have you here.”  His feet tangled with hers and the blanket was pulled up snuggly around their shoulders. Once they were warming up, his arm wrapped back around her and he held her gently but with her back pressed tight against his chest.

Rhode Island wasn’t that far away.  They needed to see each other more.  “I’ll visit next time.  Way sooner than this,” he promised as he sank back into sleep along with her.  They had the better part of the morning and afternoon.  Another hour before the alarm went off and woke Kurt up wouldn’t hurt.

Kurt’s ‘awwww’ roused him first, an eye slit open and he looked up to see Kurt’s phone in his hand and an ear to ear grin plastered on his face.  ‘I’ll text it to you both later,’ he wriggled the phone and bent down giving Blaine a kiss to his forehead before promising to return after a shower.

Left alone to wake her up, he nudged the back of her knee gently.  “Hey, sleepyhead.  Wanna wake up?  I think we need to get some lunch before you disappear.  I know the greatest spot.”

sam.

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         Okay yeah. It wasn’t the smartest idea to get drunk, but he hadn’t started with the goal in mind. Hell, it was even LESS smart to get plastered on a school night but one thing lead to another and… Why did it even matter? The cool thing about looking up at the stars? Well, it usually made his problems seem not so big, and remind him that there were SO many more things out there. Planets, stars, galaxies, aliens, parallel universes, black holes, just… All of it. But tonight, every time he looked up at the stars, it just reminded him of Blaine. Of all the times they’d slip out here with an iPod, some snacks, and… Each other. Sometimes they had nothing but themselves, sometimes they’d come prepared with a blanket or a pizza. God, why did that even matter?

          Every stupid thought came back to Blaine. And more importantly the reason they couldn’t be together. For the good of Kurt. Every time he thought of it, he felt a little more bitter. At first that hadn’t been the case, but bitterness was a sign of jealousy and jealousy was a sign he cared. At least that’s what his mom’s Women Magazine said, or was it the YahooAsk he’d pulled up? Didn’t matter now. Sam huffed, shaking his head in disbelief at his phone, an audible ‘Pfft’,  “Trust isn’t the issue, Blaine.” He muttered to himself, though at this point issues were going to have issues, but the source of them all boiled down to the same thing. 

         “There’s nothing I woul

—

“ Sam jumped, hand shooting out from his side and knocking over the half full bottle of ABSOLUT, which rolled before falling to the grass with a slosh and thud. “JESUS

—” His phone, in the commotion had flown out of his hand and flew into the dewy grass, and said hand was now over his heart as his chest heaved. “Blaine, GOD,  warn me next time.” He hadn’t even finished reading his texts and just.. “You planned that?!” Maybe it was the primarily silent park, or the fact he’d been alone UNDISTURBED, for over an hour that the appearance of the other caught him off guard, but it had taken Sam to the next level. Half stunned, half locked in an attempted Ninja reflex… 

         Shaking off what just happened didn’t come easy as he replanted himself, letting his elbows rest on his knees as his hands pushed over his face and through his hair, calming himself down with a sigh. The bright side was the flame that burned bright with anger had it’s passion misplaced in the moment of surprise, though for how long was the question. Sam’s breaths were heavy as he watched Blaine sit beside him, unfortunately having no idea what the other had just said in his panic. “I literally could have just killed you.” None of that was true considering he’d been about to end up in a tangle on the ground two seconds prior had he not caught himself. “Dude.” 

         Which sounded an awful lot like fuck.

          “Dalton doesn’t solve anything.” Putting another band-aid on top of one that already wasn’t working didn’t seem like a positive, but instead a double negative. “What good is that gonna do? We’re still gonna be here.” Sam huffed, looking down at Blaine disbelieving how he couldn’t see the full picture. Moving up off the table, he stepped down beside Blaine, then hopped off in what was supposed to be a graceful escape. The unfortunate thing was the alcohol had it’s own ideas of graceful, and Sam purely stumbled into a wobbled dismount with a bit too much speed. He turned back to Blaine, arms spanned out at his sides ready to do the talking for him should his words fail. “Do you know how hard it is looking at you, knowing it should be us? I see you and Kurt doing all these things we should be doin’ and it’s like, you don’t even care that you’re missing out on it because you’re only half in. Like, what’s it matter, you know?” 

          The hurt played out without inhibitions as Sam drunkenly explained himself, though the confidence that accompanied every word was because it very much stemmed from sober thoughts. “Like, you still get to have that with Kurt. But hey, if it doesn’t work out with him, I’m here like his understudy.” His role in the entire situation had only made that sentiment stick. “And it sucks Blaine, cause I look at you and I’m pretty sure I see my freaking soulmate, but if you don’t see that too, what am I doing? I can’t make you pick me. I can’t make you even want to pick me. Like, just tell me that’s it, tell me that you don’t want me, just tell me something that makes sense.” The last bit sounded like an actual plea in which you could hear the ache within his heart. 

Blaine gave Sam all the time he needed to recover from the way he startled him just walking up out of the dark like that.  Hindsight kicking in?  Maybe he should have warned him he was there but he didn’t want to risk Sam leaving if he could out.  Then he’d be back at square one and even if they were going to be out way too late to make it to school the next day?  He’d rather not spend another hour driving through Lima trying to spot a drunk Sam wandering around in the middle of the street.  Sneaking up was the best option once all possible outcomes were considered. Paranoid, over the top ones or not.  Scaring Sam was the most manageable one.

Telling Sam the only thing he could think of that would make this situation a tiny bit more bearable might’ve been a mistake.  Sam was quick to point out everything wrong with the notion.  While, unknowingly, saying why it was something for the best.  Their situation wouldn’t go away.  But at least?  “It’s not going to erase our problems.  I’m not saying it will.  I’m not an idiot.”  Even if he felt like the biggest one right now?  Deep down, he refused to be thought of as someone who couldn’t wrap his brain around the big picture.  Not by Sam.  Or anyone.  

Snapping his attention up at the movement beside him only to practically bolt up when Sam looked like he was going to bite it–Blaine’s muscles tensed and he was halfway off the bench before he saw Sam was steady on his feet (steady enough not to topple over anyway) and sat back down.  Keeping his distance seemed like a good idea.  Not that he didn’t trust Sam enough to be close to him.  He only figured that being any closer would be yet one more thing to hurt the other with.  “You just pointed out the reason why I should.  Can’t you see that?  Me going to McKinley every day is only hurting you worse because you have to see it.  If I wasn’t there?  At least it wouldn’t be in your face because obviously that’s a huge part of the problem.  Not all of it.  But a big one.

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Reddening eyes and steepled brows followed the verbal slap in the face he, no doubt, rightfully deserved.  Even if he had no clue that Sam would ever come back.  That piecing things together and moving on was one of the hardest things he’d ever done?  Sam was hurt and he was the one that did it.  So, in Blaine’s book, taking whatever punches Sam needed to dish out was part of the guilt eating a hole inside of him.  “Your not anyone’s understudy.  Or a second choice or a back up or whatever you want to call it.  Jesus, Sam.  What kind of a person do you think I am?” Wrenching his pale knuckled grip free from the lip of the bench, Blaine palmed his mouth and wiped away several things on the tip of his tongue along with taking a pause to gather his thoughts.

Soulmates.  He should do what Sam asked.  Hurt him and tell him that he had no feelings for him whatsoever.  Doing it might be the last snap of any possible relationship he might have with him.  Friendship or something more.  But?  If he did?  It’d cut Sam free.  He could go be with Quinn or Rachel or whoever else scooped him up next.  Sam would hate him but at least he wouldn’t ache for him anymore.  The words were right there.  Bullets loaded into the gun that’d kill whatever was left of them.  Blaine’s finger was on the trigger.  And it froze.

“I can’t.”  He heard the reply in a voice he didn’t recognize as his own.  It was way too high, way too pitched.  Too broken.  “I never thought I’d see you again.  How was I supposed to know?  How am I supposed to feel?  Who am I supposed to hurt worse?  Please, Sam?  I don’t know what to do because either way?  I’m going to ruin someone.  I never wanted to hurt you or him or,” he couldn’t breathe in.  His chest burned and the coppery taste of adrenaline flooded his mouth drowning out the rest with what, no doubt, was a quickly rising panicked confusion.

kurt.

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          It had all started with Pavarotti. 

A dead bird, gone much too soon. Providing him with a proper sendoff had really only come natural to him. The eery resemblance and instant reminder of his late mother’s funeral almost too close to comfort as he had spent his entire free afternoon decorating an old box of trinkets for the small creature. It was probably silly to get this emotional over the passing of a bird, but even if it was, Kurt had needed the closure. That little bird had represented everything Dalton stood for — someone he’d known ever since making the transfer to Dalton and a near always constant in his budding career as a Dalton Academy Warbler; The Beatles’ Blackbird a song only fitting and allowing him to mourn in the only way he knew how.

Never once had he imagined he would soon be full on making out with one Blaine Anderson in the midst of hot glue and glitter — heart fluttering wildly in his chest and hands grasping at foreign and unruly gelled curls as their mouths clashed together in unison. Every possible sense in him heightened and the initial taste of boy and Blaine soon enough leaving him to grasp for air as Kurt allowed himself to get lost in the other Warbler’s close embrace. A moment he had longed for and sought after for so long, his body had begun to ache and feel numb at the thought of it not being in the cards and just never happening. It felt exhilarating. The mere sensation of Blaine’s tongue tracing the contour of his lips enough to get his head spinning. A renewed sense of dizziness as need seeped deep into his bones, more than eager to comply and get it all out of his system.

          ❛ I can’t believe we’re finally doing this. ❜  The words sounded rushed, light as air. Hopeful. Any other sentence that might have followed silenced and replaced by haste, muffled kisses as Blaine’s mouth continued to move seamlessly against his own.

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Blaine felt like he’d tumbled head over heels off the ledge of his cliff.  Spinning out of control, dizzy inside his belly in the strangest sort of delight he’d ever known when all there should be was panic as the ground kept rising higher and higher.  Surely, there was a risk of crashing and shattering every bone inside his body should Kurt stare at him like he’d rather run for the hills than have Blaine kiss him again.  Blaine knew his story inside out now.  God, the nerve it took to believe in this and them and chances.  All of it was worth every scary step plastered over with a jittery confidence he’d taken to get to this point.  Because Kurt caught him.  With a palm against his cheek and a pale thumb grazing his ear, Blaine felt them both start to soar when he rose up for another deeper, more eager and self-assured Round Two.

Kurt’s forehead was warm and his skin was unbelievably soft as Blaine rested his against it.  This was the beginning of something.  Sure, they already had one.  On the staircase when Kurt first grabbed his attention.  Or maybe it was when they sat and talked over coffee after Kurt insisted upon changing out of his not so convincing and now extremely embarrassing “spy” outfit.  Thinking about it now?  They sort of had about four beginnings since Blaine first laid eyes on the boy in front of him.  It was like the universe was trying to kick some common sense into him to do it right and realize each time what he realized at last.  Kurt was his and he was Kurt’s and sure this might’ve been only a kiss but it was not just the beginning of something.  It was the beginning of them.

“I’m only sorry I kept you waiting for so long.  Thank you for not giving up,” he whispered just a breath away from Kurt’s lips after coming up for air.  Who knew falling could feel so good?