Santana was still fuming, though there was an ache in her chest. When she hurt the people she loved, whether they deserved it or not — the guilt came fast. Once upon a time there were no consequences for her cruel actions. The only pain was hidden in hushed sighs && tears behind the curtains. Now she had an ALMOST visible weak spot. She use to blame Finn for it. Saying he mostly, along with all of her closest friends && loved ones made her weaker. In time she grew to like having that soft spot. Until it started to break. Reminding her why she had walls built in the first place. It was becoming more clear as time went on how angry she’d made her friend. His body was still but there was a fury within, spreading like wildfire. This might just be the day that somebody truly broke the calm && collected Blaine Anderson. Of course if anyone was going to blow up this island, it’d be Santana. It was hard not to back away when he stepped closer, especially because her usual reaction was to get in close, show she wasn’t afraid. Of course physically she had no fear of the bow tie wearing musical enthusiast. Mentally though? Well they say the people you love the most can hurt you the worst, && that’s exactly what he was doing.
His blows were low. As low as those of her own design. Each one sent chills down her spine. Santana was usually on the other end of this kind of situation, && Blaine? She would never of expected Blaine to be the one to turn the tables around. First touching on her engagement, he hit the weak spot that came for Kurt in the first place. That deep layer of insecurity she masked so well with sheer anger && disgust towards one of her best friends. It didn’t help that his next turn was right where her thoughts were headed next. The fact that the person she hurt cared about her. He cared enough to stand up to her even when he knew she’d retaliate ( even though he couldn’t of been prepared for how far she really went ). He cared && put himself out there to be by her side. Then there she went, betraying him because it was the only reaction that felt right for how he made her feel. It seemed people were correct all along, in calling her the wicked bitch of the west.
In stopping there, he could of seen her storm out, could of left her remorseful && insecure until their little world patched itself back up again. The way they always believed it could. Only this time, that wasn’t so certain. Blaine had used the ammo that could truly tear her to pieces. The one thing that openly brought her dark hues to tears, glazing over them like crystals. He brought up her feelings for Finn. For what Kurt did when he learned how much pain she was in after losing him. One of the touchiest subjects the female ever had to face. So when his rant finished, Santana felt destroyed. Broken past repair. && what made it so much worse? Was that she always knew somewhere deep down, pass the cockiness && laughter — that there was no going back. She was broken, && now THEY were broken too. Him calling her out caused the tears, ones that she was ready to run off && hide from the world. But his final words, his mention of being ALONE, is what provoked her to lift her hand. Ready to slap him HARD for what he dared to say. Only instead he was barely threatened. There was just a jerking movement that almost hit it’s target. The strike was just barely held back by what little will power she had left. In fear of putting them both in more misery, unstable && quick movements brought her away from him, not pausing once as she headed for the door.
The lowest blow he dealt came from a ledge that gave way to nothing but darkness he tiptoed past for months and artfully dodged by turning a blind eye to it and then turning to therapy when he couldn’t anymore. Thanks to Dave being the one to intervene when he saw it inside Blaine’s eyes when their conversations turned to feelings and Blaine–who was so often the first to wear his heart on his sleeve when it came to how he felt–couldn’t talk without shaking, tears building up and anger always was the last and most overwhelming emotion to follow. Dave connected to it. Dave was helping him fix it and he was so, so sure they won. His days were brighter, life was good, he was happy. If he ever doubted it on important days between him and Kurt (their wedding date was the worst)? He avoided the calendar, fell in love with his Warblers then went home to Dave for comfort.
This story was never going to end. Was it? Months of putting Kurt out of his mind were torn away with the arrival of his ex and all the feelings that he swore to God he was over, were there waiting for him to find inside Kurt’s presence that didn’t belong in the life he made here. They were done. Kurt was in New York and he was in Ohio and building something. Why did his heart have to break when he saw Kurt hurting and knew he was hurting because of him? Kurt was the one to end things. Kurt realized his mistake too late. It wasn’t fair for him to come back and complicate things. WHY was he complicating things in the first place? There shouldn’t be things for him to complicate! So here he was. Arriving just to tell her how wrong that was and then—. Hell bent on focusing all his frustration that came rushing in on her.
He never should have made the mistake and called him like Rachel asked him to. The way Kurt’s voice cracked was the splintering line of his patience and usual gentility when handling a volatile situation. Or person. Or himself.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to rip her in half. She didn’t deserve that. Yes, Santana needed to hear a piece of someone’s mind but…he went too far. For the wrong reasons. Suddenly–he just wanted to be at home. As quickly as it flared up, the anger rushed out leaving him spent and catching up to what he just said. Oh God, he hated himself the second he did.
“Santana? Wait,” his voice lost it’s razorblade sharpness as he bolted after her. “I shouldn’t have said.. Would you just hold up?!” Without thinking, he drew near enough to reach her elbow and try to get her to stop. She had to hear him out. She had to.
pianokeysandbowties 