“I can’t breathe…,” he quietly whispered, voice trembling and unsure. Round hazel eyes stared up at Susie from where he sat on the riverbank. Wringing his hands together as he bit his lip and tears began to burn his eyes, the confused boy turned to look across the water. Why did it look so eerie? Like something impossibly between a painting and reality. Everything felt off. Nothing about this place was familiar and he couldn’t remember how he got here. Susie was the first person he’d come in contact with after walking for what felt like miles. A trembling set of fingers reached up to rub at his eye before any tears could fall. Where was he…? Home was an empty house more than three quarters of the time. No one would be waiting for him. But, after always finding reasons not to be there, that was the only place he wanted to be. This must be a dream.
If you like a response I made, you are more than allowed to just take it and make it into a thread. Some of you do this already, but others might need a bit of a verbal confirmation to let them know that they are more than allowed to do so. When I put a lot of effort into something, I really do enjoy when it sparks the need to turn things into threads with people. Whatever random situation I put our muses in normally something that I’ve wanted to write for a while, and I assume that you do too because you sent me the thing in the first place!
Write out a thing and tag me or mention me. I want to see where things go from there. Plus, who knows, if you wanted something with our muses, breaking the ice tends to make it easier to get that thing.
romantic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme sexual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme aesthetic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme sensual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme
( mssg » bowties | sent ) Either a crevice in a possibly attractive ( i know your track record has been patchy ) gay wonderboys bedroom, or down the gutter like you seem to be. ( mssg » bowties | sent ) Alright, where are you, blackout?
( mssg » santana | sent ) lIsten, lady! Who are you do jUde my choices? i do happen to Remmber a certain stalker who shoewd up at Your aprtment and kept leaving more and more of her stuff after two dates not every long ago! so gutter me all you want! !! THat only makes you a hyprocrite. ( mssg » santana | sent ) AT the bar in the Vilage where we took RAchel. Thesea re my peopel I belong here but my pants apparently decided to elave. bring me pants. ( mssg » santana | sent ) notyour yoga pants either I know I gave you a key. don’t do that to me.
Sam nodded eagerly, his excitement with his idea reaching new heights as he watched the way Blaine’s cheeks blushed, “Yeah, I do. I though we could like…you know…do all the school dance…stuff. Like I could pick you up and your Mom could take embarrassing pictures of us and we could like…be late to the dance because we got caught up making out in my car.” He chuckled, his own blush gracing his cheeks before he continued rambling, “And then we could..uhm…go to the dance and…hold hands and dance…and then after we could…you know…the thing that couples do…after a dance…” He wiggled his brows and laughed, though he hoped Blaine didn’t think he’d been joking about that part. Because he totally hadn’t been joking at all, it was just…awkward to say out loud, at school, where anyone could hear it. “So? Will you be my date to the dance, B?” He asked once more, with more clarity so that Blaine wouldn’t have to ask him again, and hopefully instead, give an answer of affirmation. “I promise it’ll be fun.” He added and beamed, biting his lip nervously as he waiting for Blaine to deliberate and decide, funny how the time between a question and answer seemed to last forever – at least in this particular instance.
Sam’s pitch was perfect the first time when Blaine could barely believe what he heard. The second time, though? The Warbler felt like he might soar into the clouds from the amount of happiness that rushed in after the thought that Sam might only be doing this as friends because he felt pity on him for not finding a date yet. Not that he hadn’t been asked. He had. Not by as many people as some might think. Dalton wasn’t a school full of gay kids, contradictory to what other schools might think. But the few who did invite him? Blaine couldn’t picture going with them. Or, perhaps, going at all. The ghosts of the past were far too close to step outside of merely going there to perform and then politely excusing himself and going back to the dorms. If he was going to walk down that road again? He wanted someone worth doing it for. Who understood that he might hold their hand a little too tight. Who would see him getting uncomfortable, if he did, and would pull him away when his politeness slipped into a facade to hide his nerves and it stopped being fun. Oh, he had plenty of thoughts about what that night could be and wasn’t stupid enough to dismiss that–although Central was half a year away now–it might be too much once he stepped foot into the room.
Going with a date would be a huge leap. One he didn’t want to take with just anyone.. He wanted it to be Sam. And here Sam was, hinging on his reply and Blaine was suddenly laughing at himself for asking him to repeat it and the awkwardness he just went through. This was Sam. And he’d follow Sam anywhere. No matter where the other went. “I’d love to, Sam. I want to do all of that with you. The pictures, the dinner,” without pause his hands reached across the table and clasped over top of both of Sam’s. Blaine leaned his weight against his elbows and looked him in the eye. “I’ll be your date.. Boutonniere and everything. Thank you for asking me.”
Sebastian didn’t want to be a thief here. He didn’t want to storm in uninvited and drop a bomb on Blaine. Barge in and say something that would affect them both for life even if neither one of them would admit it after this conversation. He knew how caring and compassionate Blaine was. He knew how hard this confession would hit him. The last thing he wished was for Blaine to feel bad for him. What would that make him? What was it making him now that he’d said the word love? That was the last of his intentions. All he had ever wanted to be was supportive of Blaine. Having Blaine carry memories of this every time he thinks about his wedding day would be so incredibly greedy. But damage had been done already. Today was Blaine and Kurt’s day. It was THEM who had always stuck by each others side. Them who stayed strong as a couple even when Sebastian came in between it back in the day, young and dumb trying to weasel his way in places he shouldn’t be. He may have been in the wrong before but sitting here with the love of his life right before he gets married to another man wasn’t what he wanted to be doing. But if he didn’t do this… what would he be? If he didn’t tell Blaine the truth, how would he be able to try and get over him? This HAD to happen eventually or Blaine’s face would forever be a reminder of his secret. Though now, as pain is aching deep into his mind, he feels Blaine’s face might instead be one he wouldn’t be seeing much more. Why would he ever want to see Sebastian again after this? Knowing that he’s just someone who is in love with him? This wasn’t fun and games anymore. Now? It was just rose thorns pricking fingers and blood being drawn. Fuck, he thought.
When Blaine stood up,chillsran up and down his back and arms. No. Fuck, he was coming closer. Sebastian was deep down begging for the closeness with all his might but he couldn’t accept it. No, no, no. Feeling his touch any more would only hurt the both of them. What if they were no longer going to be magnets for each other but a car crash instead? The way Blaine’s touch traveled so softly across Sebastian’s hairline and temple caused his tears to increase. He couldn’t HANDLE the touch, he couldn’t take it. It’s like his soul was nothing but butterfly wings. Trying to touch it would only be a mistake. Watery greens refused to look back at the golden ones right in front of him. A hand reached up to cover his face, he couldn’t show weakness. Not even after all these years. Not even after he had learned to show his feelings in front of Blaine. Right now was a reversal. He felt himself closing off again. The worst part about all of this was that it was not only hurting him – it was also hurting Blaine. That? That had always been his biggest FEAR. Never his intentions. Why was he letting himself be so greedy by confessing? Fuck this. ❝I never expect you to hurt him. Never. That…that’s not why I came here. Not to ruin anything.❞ he replies softly as his hand continues to hide his face. Sebastian buries his face down into his palm as he lowers his head down and tries to stop crying ❝Please NEVER tell me you’re sorry, Blaine. Never apologize for this. You and Kurt deserve to be so happy..❞ Words muffle against his hiding place and he just wants to take back confessing what he did. When Blaine corrected do to DID? That was what stung the worst. ❝You didn’t hurt me —— I hurt myself from letting myself be an idiot.❞
Just like that, he was blocked out of Sebastian’s view by Sebastian himself. Unable to look at him, his best friend hid away and sobbed into his hands while his fingers were still right there next to Sebastian’s left eye..well..now his pointer finger. He felt sick. An increasing twist of his stomach that sank into nausea. What was he thinking about inviting Sebastian here? What stupid impulse was it to approach him to beg for his help with the engagement? Let alone ask him to be there for the day the wedding happened? Blaine knew he was oblivious about many things. Some he pretended to be so clueless that, occasionally, he even believed what he was hiding from under the mask of unaware he often wore when he couldn’t face what was standing right in front of him. When the COURAGE that he preached to anyone struggling was so far out of reach that he couldn’t see a speck of it. Let alone not be an absolute hypocrite and not practice his own gospel. He knew Sebastian loved him. He knew he loved Sebastian. The parts of them that connected ran deep. Through skin and bone and blood and breath into a place where only Sebastian and he could ever tread together because they were the only ones who trusted each other enough to open the doors to the basements where they hid their darkest thoughts. And invite the other one in.
They were bound together deeper than Kurt or Trent or Tina or Hunter could ever know. Because none of them, and it drove a knife into Blaine’s chest to think it considering his groom-to-be’s wedding band was on the dressing table they were beside, would ever understand. Everyone they knew was beginning to filter into the building waiting for the moment where he’d slip it on a pale finger that wasn’t the one he now covered with the pad of his thumb trying to nudge Sebastian’s hand down.
“Please look at me, please, please don’t hide..,” he plead through the cracks in his voice in a pitch that was broken and lost. “I’m so sorry and I’m allowed to be. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry I love him and the one thing I should be the most sorry about is the fact that I love you so much, Sebastian. I always did. I always will…” Tears that he managed to hold back because he didn’t feel like he deserved them started to fall. He knew once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And here was the breaking point. Crumbled and gone and turning back wasn’t possible. “But I’m not sorry about caring for you. I’m not sorry that I let you see me the way you saw me. I’m not sorry that I have someone who guides me through the hallways in my head that I’m terrified to go down..and I’m not sorry that I need you even after today.” Blaine’s grip grew firm. All five fingers wrapped around Sebastian’s hand and he pulled it down using all of his strength to do it if he had to. Tears streaking his face, he lifted up without a hesitation and.. Lips pressed to Sebastian’s cheek and as his entire frame shook with a gasp, he kissed a path up the lines of the taller man’s tears until he was on his toes and his mouth ghosted the corner of Sebastian’s eye dotting his temple with the words that he couldn’t stop spewing in a blabbering whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you and I knew I was going to. I knew this was going to hurt so much..and you can hate me. You should hate me. I don’t deserve you. Remember? I told you that and you didn’t believe me. You thought I was being humble but I was only being honest. I don’t deserve you but I desperately need you and what does that say about me? Please don’t go.. Because I’m terrified I’ll never see you again..”
pianokeysandbowties 