sebastian.

                                                                      sebastian sighed when blaine pulled away. both with relief for his numb hand that he flexed slowly, and in dread because he had hoped he’d be unconscious for a little while. at least until sebastian got himself situated. he didn’t know why those were his first words, they just were. 

probably because the last time he’d seen blaine, blaine had sat with him at a coffee shop table ( not lima bean for once ) and told him he’d changed his mind. that he couldn’t tell kurt after all. that he’d chosen him over sebastian. that the weeks of waiting had been for nothing. that it was over.

sebastian had promised not to look back after that. to straighten his life and let blaine be happy, because once and for all he had his answer: blaine was never going to pick him. there were no doubts now. blaine had had his go at sebastian, at all of him, had learned all his secrets, tasted him numerous times, rolled with him on the bed until they both lost track of anything else around them. and now it was done.

in truth, he hadn’t WANTED to see blaine there when he woke up. because from all his injuries, nothing hurt quite like a bitch as seeing the other there. knowing… no. there wasn’t disappointment at the words. he HADN’T expected any other answer, because if blaine had dumped him for kurt, he wouldn’t leave him then for any other thing. sebastian felt a special brand of sickness in his stomach at the thought of kurt in his hospital room. he sighed at the request. 

                                     ❝you should, blaine.’   you chose him, you should be with him.   ‘ ‘s not like you can cure me. besides, i’m fine.’ this wasn’t his first rendezvous in the hospital by himself. 

     Blaine took to gripping the bottom cuff of his chinos as a means of grounding himself.  His knuckles drained of color–olive turned to ivory before the rest of his fingers lengths caught up to a closer match.  The edges of the fingernails on his free hand dug and plucked at the cheap plasticy-feeling leather on the arm of his chair. Worry lingered on his expression played out most in soft, wide eyes under a set of creased together burrowed brows.

This wasn’t any sort of reunion he’d ever ask for.  Certainly not.  Yet, here he was watching Sebastian trying to read his expression and still not able to comprehend how he was standing right there when Sebastian was hurt.  Not after all the time apart.  Who could expect they’d ever meet up again this way? Neither one of them.  But he was here and so, so determined to stay.

If only he could figure out that look.  Liar.  You know why he’s looking at you like that.  Your goodbye and this hello wasn’t fair.  Neither were.  Not for Sebastian.

Maybe he should have left.  Maybe Sebastian would have forgotten everything about him being the one to rush to his side and call for help.  If Sebastian were luckier–he would’ve forgot the panicked way Blaine refused to let him go to the hospital alone because it wouldn’t have happened. But it did.  Or–luckier still–Sebastian would’ve been here alone and Blaine would’ve gone home. But he couldn’t

Call it horrid luck–Sebastian received none of that reprieve.  Blaine had done all of those things and now, all he wanted to do was STAY.  Hearing that he should go buckled in his belly and made his throat hurt.  His brows lifted up and it took him a couple swallows but he managed to creak out, “I..  I don’t want to go.  I might not be able to cure you but you shouldn’t be alone.  I need to..,“ a thick swallow broke apart the words, “I need to make sure you’re gonna be okay..  Please?”