❝…” Yeah, I did… Sebastian stared at him as Blaine echoed his words, with a stupefied expression, expecting not so patiently for him to elaborate even though he had a feeling Blaine wasn’t going to. Or that his elaboration wasn’t going to help much. Now that the doctor was gone and he was feeling a little less dizzy, he could see how unusually pale Blaine looked, and a glance down told him he’d been twisting his fingers in the nervous way he used to whenever something was on his mind. But the time when Sebastian used to notice (or care about) those little things was long gone, and he forced himself to look away. It was NOT his job to care anymore, and it’d taken him what? Almost a decade to start jotting that down? He wasn’t going off the rails now.
“I can’t believe you.” He stated, shaking his head. “Yeah? Well, most of us don’t live in romcoms, Blainers, and no matter what those might say, you really CAN’T smile your way into a non relative’s hospital room. I’d know.” He’d spent many a night alone in hospitals, from a kid to adulthood, it wasn’t anything new for him, and that type of movie magic was a little too strong for even Blaine Anderson to pull off. “Of course he isn’t.” He sighed out, then stopped.
“You did?” He’d thought that meant the didn’t know, Shirley Temple, that was, that Blaine had made some excuse, because when it came to Sebastian and Blaine’s gang of muppets he, somehow, no matter the circumstances, always ended up as the excuse. He raise an eyebrow as he glanced at him, before licking his lips. He tried to reach for the table and winced. “Since you’re here. Can you… Get me some water..? I’m freaking parched. The painkillers…” He made a gesture towards his mouth, he was used to that too, having had his fair share of hospital rendezvous. " ‘Throw a wild guess out there, and say they don’t know about the fiancé part?” He glanced at him. He hadn’t even expected Blaine to tell them he was with Sebastian at the hospital, so he wasn’t exactly judging, but still- “Tell me why I shouldn’t tell the next nurse the truth, here.” He said slowly, as he looked at him, not defensive now, just tired. Exhausted.
They both knew where this road lead. And it wasn’t anywhere good. It was beyond ironic that he was the one not willing to “pull the prank” so to speak and fool these people, to tell the lie, to play the part, because in this case, the part would leave him hanging, dry, and hurting a hell lot more than this car accident, and he knew it. They’d done this so many times now. It never ended well. Either one or both of them ended up injured one way or another, and Sebastian was tired. He was tired of having any kind of hope. It’d been years now, but even just being in the same room like that, having Blaine say he wanted to take care of him, that he was worried for him, was already starting to cut him open. “Can we just skip to the end? You heard doctor strange, I’m fine. I’m gonna be great. Thanks… For being here, getting– us engaged and all that jazz. Time to go back to your actual fiancé. You know, that one you took a town over to my boarding school, to propose to. I assume he’s still the one.”
Blaine was obviously not done messing with his fingers. His hands slid out from underneath him, dug at his knees. Knuckles bled to white as he clasped them together, shoved them between his thighs and dug his thumbnails into the fleshy part of his hand just under them on their opposite sides. Later one, there’d be crescent shapes pressed in that might leave a bruise. He was searching for any amount of approval of what he did. For the reasons why. For Sebastian to show him any sign that he was glad he didn’t wake up hurting and alone in the hospital. A smile. It could be tiny. Or laced with some snarky comment that might brush off how much he meant what he was saying. Anything from the pages of their past that might amount to something substantial enough to hang onto.
What he got was anything BUT what he was looking for. ‘I can’t believe you.’ Clamping his mouth shut, he immediately broke eye contact and his lap was instantly locked in his sights. His entire posture sank making him seem smaller than normal where he sat on the large sleeper chair. “I know you can’t. That’s why I lied..” Lifting his chin just enough that he could peek over Sebastian, he nodded. “I didn’t think you’d want anyone else here.” Seems Sebastian didn’t want ANYONE here (including him) but Blaine had the foresight enough to know that Kurt was probably the LAST person on Earth he’d want. Risking what might happen when he got home, he’d warded him away.
Seeing Sebastian wince, Blaine was already half out of his seat when he was asked for water. Trembling hands reached for the pitcher as soon as he rushed close enough to grab it. Water splashed onto the fake wood grain surface of the hospital bed table but he managed to get enough into the cup. “Because I’ll leave without you getting me kicked out of here. If that’s what you want me to do. And it is. I can see.” Once his hand was free of the cup, he stepped back and pressed his lips together. He could see it clear as day when he met Sebastian’s gaze. His hope to be a soothing presence was a failure in the worst kind of way. It was time to go. Staying any longer was only going to worsen the insult he hadn’t meant to dish out from the beginning.
“Okay,” his heart broke in ways it shouldn’t. In ways it didn’t have the right to. As Sebastian said, he’d made his choice. Starry eyed and love struck, he made his choice. What time did between now and then didn’t matter. His throat felt like it filled with rocks that were digging in and tightening up his chest, stomach. One word and Blaine turned, went back to his chair and grabbed his coat from where he had it shoved into the corner and draped over the back to use as a makeshift pillow. What else did he have left to say out loud anyway? Sebastian didn’t want to hear that he was welcome. That he was here because he was petrified he might’ve lost him on the street. That he didn’t want to go and a huge part of him never wanted to leave. Sebastian wouldn’t want to hear any of it. His chance for an open ear died at the bottom of a staircase. Warmth surrounded him when he pulled it on.
“This was selfish. A mistake. I’m so sorry for how I made you feel, Sebastian.”
pianokeysandbowties 