inthequiver.

                                                                    sebastian raised curious, confused, green eyes as the doctor walked in, and then they widened for a moment. oh. so he HADN’T imagined blaine there, after all. blaine had actually… he felt the urge to groan and bury his face in his hands. he tried to scramble through his memory to find out if he’d said anything EMBARRASSING, while bleeding on the sidewalk. he thought he remembered telling blaine he missed him, and he hoped to hell that was just inside his own head. he couldn’t have, could he? then again, none of this made any fucking sense. like the fact he’d actually walked into a cab with a drunk driver and never even noticed. have you been here all this time? he wanted to ask, but it felt pointless, and he wouldn’t get into it in front of the doctor. 

                                              ❝so what’s wrong with –        ?’ he asked, before the doctor could even speak, seizing the man with tired distrust. he’d never liked doctors much, since they were always trying to FIX him. he stopped short on his words, though, at what he heard NEXT, never finishing his sentence ( … me? ). he stared at the doctor in disbelief. lips parted, and almost dreaded turning his head to the side, to meet BLAINE, though he felt like he couldn’t help it, as his attention was dragged to the side. betrothed? betrothed?!! his eyes said as they met caramel ones, color coming to his face like it never happened, and burning it up with complete shock. he had actually- blaine had not only stayed, he’d lied to do so, which had got to be eating up inside him, if sebastian knew him any. and he still DID. did he feel THAT much pity? sebastian didn’t get it. the doctor was still speaking but his ears were ringing. 

only when the man started speaking to him, again, did he tear his sarcastic expression and raised eyebrows out of blaine, and onto him, but the other didn’t seem to have noticed anything. sebastian stared a little vacantly as he spoke, only relieved that blaine’s comment hadn’t really meant anything as it seemed, and he was going to be fine. he sunk back onto the pillows and closed his eyes for a moment, nodding some, before opening them again as the doctor left. he’d have to stay at the hospital for at least one day more, until they were sure his lungs would be fine, and then he’d have to stay bandaged and caring for his ribs for a while, and probably use some kind of support on his dislocated fingers. he pressed his lips slowly as the door closed, and bit on them hard as he stared at it. 

‘you told them.’ he started very slowly. ‘i’m your fiancé?’ he more stated, than asked, before turning his head towards the other, eyebrows up on his hairline, as though saying are you INSANE? he huffed out a bitter laughter and shook his head as he brushed his face. this had got to be a joke. the entire thing. a sick joke from the universe. ‘you gotta be KIDDING me.’ he mumbled, muffled, into his bruised hands. he dropped them. ‘so when can i expect peakurt to walk in and make a scene?’

      Blaine didn’t realize that under the intense weight of Sebastian’s unwavering, righteously shocked ‘what the flying hell’ stare that he’d begun to wring his hands together.  Fingers gripping palms and scraping back and forth in white knuckled tenseness.  Who could blame him?  Even if he couldn’t bare being looked at the way Sebastian was looking at him now by anyone..  The sheer intensity of the gaze directly right into his deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes would have been enough to give him a complex about it if he hadn’t had one years before. His biggest problem wasn’t the bubble of guilt that lying put in his belly the previous day that kept growing the longer he sat in silence throughout the night.  Or that it was an absolutely INSANE idea to say what he said in the first place (but Sebastian was hurt and he was desperate to make sure he was okay and not leave him alone–so what other options did he have??).  

Still.  Both of those issues were small-cheese compared to the scenario that blurred into his mind and slowly became clearer and clearer with each breath the doctor took.  How Sebastian was going to react to this (aside from the stunned expression and increasingly red tint to his pale, freckled skin) was so up in the air and he couldn’t figure it out because he was on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about the next ten minutes.  Blaine barely heard the doctor finish giving Sebastian the rundown of what was going to happen past the explanation of his injuries.  His mind was too busy elsewhere and the voice in the room sounded muffled.  Like his head was buried in a pillow and he had the sides pulled up to block out his ears.  If only he was that lucky.

He was sorry.  Sorry that he used that reason to be here.  Sorry that he didn’t tell the truth. However, what he was sorriest about?  Was that Sebastian found out.  Yes, he was dumb enough to not think of the consequences.  But he had no time and hoped that he might be able to skim past the reason he was being given so much leeway to stay by chalking it up to politeness going a long way.  Or something equally as flimsy but hopefully-might-work-worthy. Cat out of the bag having come and gone?  They were alone and he had the rippling thunder of the door shutting still echoing in his brain when the relief he felt from Sebastian giving the doctor his attention was gone and it was right back on himself.

“Y-Yeah.  I..did,” he answered matching Sebastian’s voice and with a cramp snapping his attention back to his hands that hadn’t stopped moving, he grabbed onto both tight and shoved them between his thighs practically underneath them.  Long lashes veiling his eyes from sight fluttered to show he was searching for the answer of what to say next in the weave of his pants and coming up empty handed.  Looking back up wasn’t an option and he kept his head down. “They wouldn’t let me,” his voice trailed off as he skipped yet another part of potential awkwardness and clung to the mess he was in instead, “stay here if I didn’t…say something.  I didn’t want to leave.  Kurt isn’t coming.  No one is.”  His gaze lifted but he kept his chin tucked down.  “I asked them not to.  I’m sorry…I did this. I only..  I wanted to stay.”