Being closed off was a talent of Barry’s, sure it was easy to read him sometimes. But when he really wanted to the speedster would shut people out, and remain very guarded. It was unfair to his significant others, perhaps one of the reasons why his relationships tended to crumble after a while. He should learn from his mistakes, and not repeat them. Perhaps in that aspect … he just an idiot. It happened again and again, and again. And here he was ready to repeat it. “Blaine I…” he looked into those hazel orbs that he had grown to adore so quickly. He was causing this man pain, all because he was being a coward. Too scared. Too worried. Too unsure of himself. Scared about the idea that he might lose him, worried that he might hurt him, and unsure that he’s even good enough. Regardless he should just push this away, give up without a fight, without Blaine having a say in it. What has sealing himself away done for him? Nothing. Nothing at all, and it usually came to bite him right in the ass again. Finally his shoulders slump a little, the tension easing out of him as he came to a conclusion at last. “….I’m… I’m not really good at this, and you’re right. I have been guard, and withdrawn.” A pause, and pursed lips. “I don’t mean to, but I… I need to try,” he gulped looking a little more determined. “I’ll try, for you, for us. I’m not going to run away anymore.”
Blaine was tired. Tired of pretending that none of Barry’s distance and attempts to push him away hurt him as bad as they did. Tired of waiting and hoping that whatever cosmic fate that tethered them together (whether Barry wanted it or not..that’s what they were) to give him some sort of a break and nudge Barry towards him just a little. Even the tiniest bit would be better than nothing. Barry’s latest bout of going days without answering any of Blaine’s attempts to contact him, finally, pushed Blaine to his breaking point. He stood just inside Barry’s apartment. Hands waving at his sides as he blurted out his answer to ‘How have you been?’. Normally, he would have answered with something equally as skirting-around-the-bigger-issue as that question was. Today? He just couldn’t. Silence swallowed him up as he waited for Barry to show him even the slightest shred of caring about what he had to say. What he got back made his mouth drop open. Barry just AGREED with him? Blaine was so ready to launch into another rant that what he heard caught him off guard. All he could do was regurgitate Barry’s response back to him. “You’ll try for me? For us? You won’t run away,” he asked feeling a little more than weary of the promise and rightfully so. Hazel eyes combed over Barry’s and his lips pouted over the question before he asked it keeping close guard on his heart that deeply wanted to flutter in his chest at the glimmer of hope Barry just gifted him with. “You promise..?”
pianokeysandbowties 