a forgotten moment.

“You’re being way too fucking deep for this early hour.” Sebastian murmured under his yawn as he brushed his eyelids. “And I still think it was worth it. Probably.” He chuckled. He didn’t exactly feel like explaining the reasoning behind his late excessive drinking. Admitting Blaine was still in his mind seemed too ridiculous to bear. Blaine probably hadn’t event thought of him on the last three years. Sebastian scrunched his nose back at him when he was teased, then let his lips curl at Blaine’s answer. “We live like champions, rockstar.” He  pointed out as he watched Blaine get up before forcing himself to do the same, hoisting himself on the armchairs so he could get to his feet, then accepting Blaine’s hand mid-way. He let it go a tad too quickly afterwards, as though suddenly realizing that was probably the first time they touched hands since they’d first met. As he looked at Blaine, amusement in his bright eyes, and the smile on his lips, he suddenly licked over his own, trying to shake off the will to kiss him. It felt weird, a ghost sensation on them, as though they were trying to recall something. But Blaine had been clear that nothing had happened between them, so they couldn’t have kissed, could they?  “Sure, killer. Whatever you say.” Blaine’s evasive remarks were something Sebastian was more than used to, as he was used to ignore the way they chipped away at something in him. Not that he had a lot of expectation even if Blaine DID agree to let Sebastian introduce him to his sheets. He’d known Blaine had had his doubts once, and even wondered if he wasn’t bisexual after all, but that he knew of, it hadn’t gone anywhere. Still, he didn’t let any of that sour that rare morning they were sharing. Instead, letting himself take in the image of a sleepy bed messed Blaine, and smirking as he pretended not to see the other’s reaction to picturing their sex. “You coming?” He asked, roughly, as he passed through the other boy, stretching his arms and letting his shirt ride up, making his way to the kitchen. “I don’t really know where is anything here, so we’re gonna have to search.” He warned over his shoulder.

Blaine curled empty fingers towards his palm after Sebastian’s quickly disappeared.  The absence of a palm shouldn’t be something you felt this much.  Should it?  Somehow? The air hitting his skin shifted from warm and comforting to cold and chasing after filling the void by any means possible.  If balling itself into a fist was the best it could do?  Then he’d take that.  And shove both inside his pockets unaware of the thoughts that his answer put in Sebastian’s mind. How could he understand?  Not only because Sebastian was keeping it internalized.  But he had no idea the depth of the reasons why.  Instead? “Yeah, I’m coming.”  Blaine followed along clueless to anything but the small sense of awkwardness that waking up the way they had must have put there.  Because what else could it be?  Sebastian already gave no signs that he remembered kissing him in the cab the night before.  Blaine wasn’t going to bring up the subject. They’d waited years for that moment. Because as oblivious as Blaine knew he could be when it came to matters about himself and what someone else might be feeling towards him? He knew Sebastian was waiting just as badly.  Why ruin the perfect day that this morning was turning out to be by explaining to Sebastian that he drunkenly shared and forgot their first kiss?  He turned follow as Sebastian’s spine arched in a feline stretch. The pale strip of skin above his waistband drew Blaine’s attention and he felt his chest tighten.  It was his turn to feel the phantom press of the other against him during their cab ride.  Breath on his cheek that smelled of whiskey barrels and cheap bar mints.  The way it felt to let himself feel with someone who he always kept at an arm’s length for both of their good and then–when it wasn’t necessary–by a habit that was built on years of needing to.  Thankfully–just as he felt like he was drowning–Sebastian pulled him to the surface.  He blinked out of his fog as they walked into the kitchen, lips twisted into a taunting grin.  His voice caught up from the scratch he had to clear.  “Wait.  How do you not know where anything is?  Please tell me you know where the coffee’s at?  Some mugs, too?  Though if we’re really desperate?  I guess I can make a pot and we can grab some straws and share it like the desperate coffee fiends we are?”  See?  Cat Got Your Tongue pause over!  Just keep talking and avoid another one. Should be simple.  Yeah?