kurt.
When Blaine didn’t fight him, it was relief. But soon he was melting against Kurt and he missed it so much- missed how easy to was to be wrapped around Blaine. He held him close and hoped placing his cold hand on the back of Blaine’s neck wasn’t uncomfortable. Despite the tears and the strong emotion in the room it felt like a brief peace to Kurt until Blaine spoke.
Not for one second had he thought he could cause this. Hell, even before Oliver he always assumed he would be more damaged if they ever broke up. But here he was, guilty and honestly scared by his own effect. How did this happen? How did any of it happen? Nothing went how he thought it would, how it should have gone, instead he wound up here. He wished it was enough. No ‘I didn’t want this’ was going to make either of them feel better though.
Kurt did not speak. He unknowingly swayed them both just slightly, playing with Blaine’s hair, and not making a sound. Some unmeasured time passed – he guessed it wasn’t actually more than a few minutes, but it felt like so long – before he dared try to speak, but when he did he was steady. Emotion conveyed in his voice, but still calm all the same, similar to defeat he supposed.
“We can make this ok, Blaine. We can.” And they would. Eventually, it would be ok. He would not leave Ohio without making it right on some level.
Blaine seemed to not notice the chill of Kurt’s touch. Or if he did? He didn’t react to it in a negative way. No pulling back, sharp breaths or flinching at the contrast of the heat radiating off his skin verses the cool of Kurt’s. How could he shrug away or feel anything but the touch he was internally screaming to have for what felt like an agonizing forever? The bridge of his nose only fit tighter against Kurt’s neck as desperate arms closed tight around Kurt’s shoulders.
He’d begged Kurt to let them make it okay. Took his heart and wore it on his sleeve for Kurt to see he meant every word. Like he didn’t know that already. There wasn’t anything else he could do. Was there? It didn’t stop his mind from being a storm of confusion and despairing racking as he tried to figure out if there was and what it could be. Calm only came as Kurt began to sway them. The motion of their rocking and Kurt’s arms were soothing when what answer he could be waiting for could possibly be anything but. His weight rested more heavily against the familiarity of Kurt’s chest. Lungs heaved in a breath and then deflated to a normal pattern instead of panicked and shallow. Kurt had to feel this too. Didn’t he? That this was home and without it nothing seemed to fit right. Relief flooded in so fast that it was dizzying. “Promise?”
They could? Kurt said so and Blaine–in spite of the lies and him leaving–believed him. Why? Because he was Kurt and Blaine might be foolish but he was just so done not having anything solid to hold onto when it came to the man he loved that he’d take the promise and hang onto it because it was all he needed–for now. Lifting his head up–Blaine met those eyes bending his elbows between their bodies to cup Kurt’s cheeks.
Without considering any other outcome–he kissed him for the first time in so long that it felt like the very first. But every time did for him and maybe that was his first mistake. From now on? He’d just kiss him like it was the last time instead. His heart clenched in his chest and a soft sigh touched Kurt’s lips–Blaine’s lingering dangerously close as he whispered, “Thank you.”
pianokeysandbowties 