sebastian.

     Sebastian respectively stayed quiet while propped against the wall ( Semi choosing silence for now because he was too scared to do anything else ) && watched Blaine with a forced half smile, listening to him add more to his answer && somehow shift from from a simple great to nervous. Of course he was nervous, from all Sebastian knew it was pretty normal to be nervous on your wedding day. Sebastian connected with the feeling all too much in a different sort of way, like two puzzle pieces seeming as if they are meant to fit together but the slightest difference comes between them being the perfect match. Why? Because Sebastian was more nervous than ever right now too. Not for the same reasons, but because thoughts were floating around that somehow needed to end in him admitting his love. As Blaine proclaimed his happiness, Sebastian tries to smile as best as he can, but still hanging his head low. Some part of him hoped that Blaine had to make it so clear because it wasn’t the truth. Almost forgetting to answer for a brief amount of time, he drops out of deep thought && stutters a moment. 

     _{❛ Oh, uh—— ❜ He scrunches his nose, trying to remember what was going on after getting lost in his nervousness. Fuck, he thought. He was being so obvious, it wasn’t too hard to see that Sebastian was off his game. Luckily for him Blaine could be a little clueless at times. ( A part of him that Sebastian, of course, loved ) Swallowing what felt like a lump growing in his throat, he coughs to mask the heavy breathing that had become his anxieties. ❛ I’m sorry, Blaine… What were you saying? I think the glass of champagne I had is getting to my head. ❜ Lies. It was something else that was getting to his head && that couldn’t be closer to the truth.} 

      Blaine watched the tip of his finger drag across the polished countertop of the vanity he leaned on.  Sebastian was being quiet.  Abnormally quiet enough that Blaine couldn’t help picking up on something being off.  A giant something that the back of his mind reached out, touched and caused his stomach to gnaw itself as it clenched up while he played a game of connect the dots that he didn’t really have to play to figure out the reason why.  

The image of Sebastian came into view and he watched him in the glass.  Cowardly as it was– Blaine made no move to turn around.  Sure, he was great at pretending and lying to himself that he was clueless as to what might be going through Sebastian’s mind to freeze his usual quicksilver tongue.  Didn’t mean he could lie to himself while standing there in a silence that swallowed him up more and more the longer it lasted.  What’d that say about him that he didn’t have to look Sebastian in the eye to know what he’d find if he did?  Or that he was glad that, for now, if he kept his back turned to him purposefully?  He wouldn’t have to face it in person.

      Sebastian continued to stare at the floor.  Blaine continued to watch the glass image of a man who was battling with demons Blaine wasn’t sure should be let free. Not here.  Not now. Because it was too late.  ‘Clueless’–maybe sometimes–but he was not an idiot.  Sebastian’s face was crumpling and Blaine’s stomach bottomed out.  The sound of a cough made Blaine press his fingers against the vanity until their tips drained of color.  What was he saying?  He didn’t remember!  Blaine’s mouth opened–silently stuttering for a reply that didn’t come easy–he tried so hard to come up with something wildly blinking out of the daze his own anxiousness to open his mouth brought on.  “—-I don’t remember.  I’d blame the champagne but I haven’t touched the stuff since this morning.  I don’t–Sorry–W-What were you saying?”   That wasn’t supposed to be what came out.  A garbled mess of nothing mixed with repeating back what Sebastian said? What the hell?