When Blaine’s touch hovered towards his wrist, Sebastian had an instant instinct to jerk it away. Because he didn’t want Blaine so close to him?No, that wasn’t it at all. It was because he was afraid of opening up. Terrified to show the one boy he truly felt love for any side of himself that was revealed && open; raw with emotion. He would leave Hunter ( The boy he had been using as nothing more than a jealousy device && a warm body ) in a millisecond if it meant he could make Blaine Anderson his && his only. Hunter Clarington wasn’t comforting, his skin was cold && uninviting. There was no connection. But he was comforting enough to try && take this mind off of the original legacy of Dalton, Blaine. So before he could even think about denying Blaine’s touch, he simply let his wrist be held; slowly easing into something that would be honesty.
“ Fine… The act is up. “ Eyes avoided the other set of hazel ones before him, looking down towards the ground with a broken frown. “ I don’t want you to leave me alone… That’s the whole point. I’ve been screaming your name in my head, Blaine. Doing everything I can to make you notice me—- “ Hearing himself be honest felt like a burn was left on his tongue, but he couldn’t play this game any longer. “ I wanted to make you jealous && I’ve been dying for you to realize that we have always had a connection && you know it. Before I ever even met you face to face, you caught my attention. Then the first time I ever looked at you I knew I had a thing for you, as I make obviously clear. Since we met I’ve felt a need to chase after you, always wondered how much hearts you’ve stolen. But I never thought I would be added to the list. && then when things never came around, my cockiness was struck down && I realized I could NEVER be good enough for you. “
Blaine felt triumph and defeat. Sebastian not pulling away from him was a victory that gave him hope he was making a difference and Sebastian wasn’t beyond saving. If he would only let him in. Defeat in Sebastian not being able to meet his eyes. He worried if the aversion to looking at him ran deeper then Sebastian not wanting to open up and talk. Was he pushing too far? Was Sebastian guilty about something he shouldn’t be? Making him feel horrible wasn’t Blaine’s intention. He just didn’t want to lose him to someone like Hunter Clarington. Sebastian couldn’t become the person Hunter was attempting to turn all of the boys inside this school into. Hunter was taking something so good and genuine and turning it into a mockery. Blaine couldn’t bring himself to ever let the psychopath turn Sebastian into the same.
Not Sebastian. Not someone he— Blaine flinched like he was struck with the truth Sebastian threw at him thanks to Blaine’s pushing. Careful what you ask for. What you get might just be a punch you aren’t prepared for. He cringed inwardly already knowing most of it. Not the extent of what Sebastian was saying but he knew that Sebastian cared for and wanted him. He wasn’t blind just pretended to be –most of the time– because it wasn’t the right time. It never was. Don’t fall for me, Seb. Don’t fall for me. I don’t deserve it. Tracing the thin veins along the underside of Sebastian’s wrist, Blaine squeezed their fingers together. He should go. He didn’t want his heart to leap hearing Sebastian but it did. He didn’t want to say what his mouth refused to keep quiet. “I NEVER meant to hurt you. I never meant to let you down either,” the smile he carefully kept in check dimmed but he stepped closer and held on tight. Maybe he needed some gravity too. “Seb..,” he whispered, “What am I supposed to say? You were never not good enough for me. Our timing’s just always been awful. You know that.” Blaine shrugged and rolled his eyes letting his gaze wander towards the floor instead. “Maybe I am a little jealous. Because you’re too amazing for this guy. All of you are. Especially you.” What could he say to everything else Sebastian said when it was still sinking in?
pianokeysandbowties 